Ten dinner party conversation openers.....

.....or closers.

Ah.....but where do you place the Catholic?

How often have we as Catholics kept our mouths shut when, in a group discussion, someone holds forth on the unfairness of a judicial system that penalises doctors who "help" their patients into an early grave.

Or, when the "abortion" word is mentioned, how often have we mentally turned away and ignored all that is being said in order that we do not cause offence.

There are times, admittedly, when to enter an argument when all present are charged up on Vino Collapso, is not a wise thing to do.
Arguing with raised voices over a dinner table is not Christ like.
It may even be a cause for scandal, depending on how charged up the party is; you are then right to 'keep mum'.

And then there are the times when you await your moment; the split second where you may enter the debate and deliver your one liner in defence of Catholic values without causing jackets to be removed.

But, how often do we open the batting with a question on morality or ethics?

With Christmas rapidly advancing I thought it might be helpful to have a number of openers to call upon, you may wish to contribute some of your favourites:-

1. "Does anyone know what happens to the bodies of babies after they have been aborted?"

2. "Of course, just thinking about homosexual acts conjures up feelings of revulsion doesn't it?"

3. I think the same sex issue is so funny; imagine, two women walking down the aisle arm in arm...what a hoot!"

4. "Sex education in schools should be re-named sex training, after all it is so explicit"

5. "I just don't know why schools insist on putting on Christmas plays that are totally secular in content"

6. "Anyone who gives or receives a gift at Christmas, or takes time off work, is taking part in the celebration of Christ's birth"

7. "Leaving children to make up their own minds over religion is so ridiculous, it's like saying that they can find their own way of crossing the road"

8. "The Catholic Church will never ordain women as priests because, you see, Christ took the male gender and, anyway, God has given us the Blessed Virgin Mary, His own Mother, to watch over and guide us"

9. "We don't participate in joint services with other faiths as it can give the false impression that they are right"

10. "Of course, real Catholics receive the Body and Blood of Christ kneeling and on the tongue precisely because it is the actual and real Body and Blood of Christ"

Poor little turkey!

Happy Thanksgiving! New reviews coming soon.

Hey, Dave, what's the rush?

MPs are set to vote on 'gay marriage', within weeks. This is, by all accounts, a monumental shift in UK Government policy. What's the rush? Are the lions in Britain's zoos hungry due to the rising price of meat or something?

It's a big decision, Dave. You're rushing into this and its a decision you may live to regret. Take some time out to think about it. You know, it could upset a lot of people - voters even. People could lose their jobs not too long after you've 'taken the plunge'.

I don't know. Maybe Dave's just a misunderstood biblical Christian who has seen the words of Scripture, 'What thou doest, do quickly,' and has decided to take Our Lord literally.

Meanwhile, the Chancellor, George Osborne (of Bilderberg participation fame) has also publicly committed himself to the drive for same-sex marriage. Quite what the issue has to do with the Treasury or the City of London is a mystery, but there we go. On the face of it, I suppose the policy has as much to do with the Chancellor as the CoE's Synod vote on women Bishops has with Frank Field. Perhaps Britain risks losing 'foreign investment' if we don't go ahead and legislate for 'same-sex marriage'. I suppose it is not beyond the realm of possibility. Obviously, were that the case, it would be economic and social suicide not to go ahead with SSM...


Still, despite what people say - that the nature of the same-sex marriage legislation to come is inherently totalitarian - it is good to know that there are other members of Dave's cabinet of an even more liberal persuasion (and of Bilderberg participation fame) who are campaigning for other liberal measures like secret courts to try those who protest against same sex mar-...sorry, I mean those who are a threat to 'national security'. 

Praise the Lords, of course, but for how long will they hold out? It's no wonder they want Lords reform. Britain would be a happier and more democratic place with a bunch of bankers and estate agents in the second chamber as well as the first, wouldn't it? As a nation, we've fallen into something of a spiritual abyss. Perhaps, therefore, it's really not surprising if our elected leaders behave as if they are members of a satanic international network building the kingdom of darkness on Earth. But hey, Dave, what's the rush? Rome wasn't built in a day, so I don't know why you think Babel can be built in a few weeks. Or is that Babylon? I'm not so hot on the Old Testament.

Where fiends sleep

I am returning to the works of a great writer, the late Patrick Leigh Fermor and, in particular his book on his monastic experiences, 'A Time to Keep Silence'.

During the course of his practical researches, that is, staying as a guest in various monasteries, he held many conversations with monks.

In the care of one junior fiend

One monk of the German La Grande Trappe monastery gave PLF detailed information regarding the assaults of Satan, especially on those holy monks who, at times, wrestled with demons for forty days and nights barely throwing off attacks on their chastity and belief in the teachings of the Church.

But the cities of the world, the vast concentrations of humanity where all sins are readily available and attractively labelled and packaged.....they are an entirely different matter, barely capable of attracting the Devil's attention for one second.

Why?

Because the Devil has won in the cities; it is in the monasteries, convents and presbyteries that the fight rages on.

This chapter from 'A Time to Keep Silence' -

"....They (the Monasteries) became, accordingly, especial targets. Satan issuing orders at night-fall to his foul precurrors, was rumoured to despatch to capital cities only one junior fiend.

This solitary demon, the legend continues, sleeps at his post. There is no work for him; the battle was long ago won.

But, monasteries, those scattered danger points, become the chief objective of nocturnal flight; the sky fills with the beat of sable wings as phalanx after phalanx streams to the attack, and the darkness crepitates with the splintering of a myriad lances against the masonry of asceticism.

Piety has always been singled out for the hardest onslaught of hellish aggression...."


Sadly, Leigh Fermor's experiences were not enough to bring him to the Faith.
That always puzzles me; I know of several good people who hover at the edge of conversion but never actually take the plunge.

Equally, I know of many erstwhile good Catholics who have left the Faith and placed their redemption severely at risk.

This is the month to pray for those who have died and who are possibly languishing in Purgatory, including the great man, Patrick Leigh Fermor.

           MAY THE SOULS OF THE FAITHFUL DEPARTED REST IN PEACE. AMEN

Government by Banking Institutions

On Tuesday, The Independent reported that City banks and investment institutions told George Osborne to step up the Government's commitment to low carbon energy in order to avoid a future marked by climate change related disasters.

On Wednesday, George Osborne stressed how vital big banking institutions are to our society and told the United Kingdom:

 "I want Britain to be the home of big successful banks. I think it would be a real shame if we were saying to the likes of HSBC that they can't locate themselves in the UK. I think that would be a mistake for us as a country."

It looks rather to me like we're being governed by banks. For some reason the entire banking sector of the United Kingdom has jumped on board the carbon bandwagon. Stepping into a local branch of HSBC recently, I saw two promotional posters. One had a picture of a bee or wasp with cameras for eyes with a caption that said something like, 'In the future, nature and technology will work in harmony' or something equally Orwellian.

The second poster was highlighting how HSBC was the first carbon neutral bank - as if anyone cares! Bizarre. And remember...usury is good for you, folks! It's never let you down before and it won't let you down again. In the meantime, perhaps someone can tell me what this has to do with mortgages and overdrafts?

Beneath the caption HSBC inform us that 'there's a new world emerging'. Sure, there is, and a brave one at that. It's a new world in which banks run Governments and people are just numbers.

Christmas is not for fairies

There is a sort of sinister allegorical slant (not saying that I'm paranoid or anything) to the liberalisation of the Church where, the reality of sound Catholic practice and devotions has been perverted by "bringing the liturgy, music and teachings of HMC up to date" and the fact that what were once angels now appear to have 'modernised' into fairies.

At one time, an angel was the essential, but not the key essential, to the Christmas crib that would sit on a side table or window ledge.

And then, angel number two would be delegated to the top of the Christmas tree; this was just not any old angel, it would not have gauzey wings, a lacy frou frou or, horror of horrors, a wand in its hand.

Not quite my mental image
 of Archangel Gabriel

It would have some substance about it, possibly a plain porcelain face to add an air of mystery and of something just a little hidden from human eyes. The wings would have been of a material that one could not describe as flimsy and it would not have all been framed around a Barbie doll face and body.

Can little girls be angels?
Don't answer that

I have searched the stores in vain for an angel that reflects reality but all I can find are Sloane Rangers in gold lame or cutie fairies in tin foil.
There are even Smurf angels, Muppet ones, Snow White and the Seven Dwarf Angels - but no Heavenly messenger ones.

So please, do not tell me that I should be making my own, my very own traditional angel. Life is getting rather too short for that; not that I haven't considered it and speculated on what effect one could achieve with an old fashioned clothes peg and some silver wire.
But I know my limitations.

                                                                       
This year, the Christmas tree may have to be crowned with a star - at least that motif cannot be altered.

Or, can it?

Two bishops in bed......

.......which one was the lady?...........................

..............why, Mrs Bishop, of course!


Apologies for the schoolboy humour but it sprang to mind after the Church of England Synod voted against women bishops yesterday.

There's not much more to be said on the predicament that the CoE finds itself in, except that they have deferred the inevitable (for them).