A Liebster Award - are you sure you want to read this?

My thanks go to Ches at The Sensible Bond for nominating me for a Liebster Award.



I now have a number of hoops to jump through to qualify for this honour, and the first set of hoops involves me in coming clean with eleven personal facts.

Are you sure you want to read this? Are you able to sift the fact from the fiction?

Leave a comment if you think you can identify the fictional points.

Here goes (deep breath):


Part 1

1. I am a cradle Catholic

2. I am 28 years old

3. My wife and my children are my greatest joy and I really do not deserve them

4. I like a glass of malt whisky, Paddy whiskey, red wine and Rev James bitter but not at the same time. (I also have a liking for Manhattans but now I am beginning to sound like a dypsomaniac)

5. I am a fervent admirer of Ed Stourton and Clifford Longley and read The Tablet avidly

6. Liturgical dances are a wonderful accompaniment to the Ordinary Form of Mass

7. Having voted Conservative all my life I have vowed never to give this party my support again. The same applies to Labour, Liberal Democrats and UKIP. Help!

8. For nearly 20 years I worshipped each Sunday in a chapel within our home mainly without a priest present

9. My household is dogless but, every time I see a whippet or lurcher in the street I have a strong desire to break the seventh commandment

10. Japanese food is my weakness, eaten accompanied to the strains of a Chinese Orchestra

11. My ambition is to live on the Island of Ithica but only if there is an orthodox Catholic priest also residing there, plus my family, of course

Marian Antiphon Karaoke

This could catch on you know...

Pope Francis's Media Honeymoon Over?

I woke up early this morning, looked out at the wretched weather (Benedicte, opera Domini Domino...etc) and turned on the wretched BBC to hear the presenter talking briefly about Pope Francis's election as Successor of St Peter, only then for the presenter to say, "...so let's hear from someone who doesn't think there should be a Pope, or even a Priesthood."

Introduced to us, then, was a professor who uses the Bible for his proposition that Our Lord didn't want Priests, never established a Papacy and that none of the Apostles were Priests. Ergo, the Church shouldn't have Priests. Is this professor a Catholic? Er...Well, he is a baptised Catholic who tried his vocation in a seminary and has since abandoned, entirely, the Catholic Faith. His central line of argument was that, "the words 'priest' and 'pope' aren't in the Bible".

The BBC presenter kindly pointed the professor to the bit in the Gospel about Our Lord establishing the Church on St Peter, the Rock, but this was easily brushed aside by the professor who simply ignored what the presenter said. So, despite the fact that the BBC get a 'professor' on to discuss his thoughts on the Catholic Church and despite the fact that he has nothing to do with the Catholic Church, all he really says is, "It's not in the Bible, so there!" just like any ignorant Protestant could do. This was shortly followed by 'Thought for the Day' from Catherine Pepinster of The Tablet which, thanks be to God, I missed because I had to go out and get some tobacco. I'd sooner have my lungs infected with toxic smoke than have my mind infected with the thoughts of the editrix of The Tablet.

Obviously, in his theological studies the professor didn't take note of the bit in the Gospel where Our Lord breathes on the Apostles after the Resurrection and says, "Whosoever's sins you forgive they are forgiven. Whosoever's sins you retain, they are retained."

Don't take it personally Pope Francis. It isn't you the State TV and radio want to tear down. It wasn't Pope Benedict XVI the State TV and radio wanted to tear down.  It's just the institution of the Church they want to tear down. After the initial honeymoon with the media and despite the media's failure to successfully portray Pope Francis as the lackey of Latin American military regimes, it looks like normal service is starting to be resumed. If you want to listen retrospectively to the Today program as part of your Lenten penance, you can do so here after 9am.

Pope Francis Celebrates Mass for Gardeners and Janitors of the Vatican

Pope Francis sits in the back of Domus Sanctae Marthae Chapel after celebrating Mass for the Vatican gardeners and janitors.

Legend.

I am a trained gardener. If anyone sees any gardening vacancies on the Vatican jobs site, do let me know.

Million Man March to Take Place on St Peter's Square

Promotional poster for the million man march...

Traditional Catholics, sadly unable to organise even a whimper of a protest at 'same-sex marriage' or a mass demonstration against the industrial scale slaughter of the unborn taking place on their home soil are organising a million man march on Rome in order to bring back the papal red shoes.

For the pilgrimage event, dubbed 'Red Shoes Day', the marchers have as their chief aim the reinstatement of the papal red shoes signifying that the Pope walks in the Blood of Christ and the blood of His Martyrs and hope that if a million men and women turn up in St Peter's Square in red shoes, His Holiness Pope Francis will see that not only do these shoes look perfectly pleasant but that they can be bought for a price that is right.

"We know the Holy Father wants his shoes to be modest and humble," said one traditionalist commenter on the site Rorate Caeli, "but we aim to prove that red shoes do not have to be expensive. For instance, you can get some Christian Louboutin mens cadaques suede red shoes for just £98.00 at the moment. That's right. That is a massive saving of 72% off the original price! This would mean that the Holy Father could give the 72% saved on these comfortable and stylish red shoes to the poor of Rome! We know that the Pope is the Successor of St Peter, but if His Holiness has decided not to wear the red shoes, then we have to urge him to do so. If he still refuses, then others will have to wear red shoes for him! Someone around here has to wear red shoes. If he's not going to do it, then we most certainly will!"

A traditionalist gears up for the march on Rome

Another traditionalist commenter on the site had this to say: "All we need is His Holiness's shoe size and then we will be happy to give him a pair of cheap and humble red shoes so that the continuity of the papacy in terms of red shoes will be secure. We are happy to buy the red shoes for His Holiness and deliver them to Mgr Marini by hand!"

Another said: "We know that if we give them to Mgr Marini, His Holiness will definitely get them. I'm also happy to spend the day in Rome, having passed on the gift of some terribly modest red shoes to the Pope, made, as they were, by people who were paid fair wages, washing the feet of the poor and doing works of mercy all over the place. If the Holy Father really doesn't want me to come and spend money on getting to Rome, I can always post them for the attention of the Master of Ceremonies and send the money I would have spent on travelling to the local homeless shelter. Oh good God! I would be only too happy to do this!"

Women, too, are expected to turn up in their hundreds of thousands to attend the million man march on St Peters and at a local traditionalist meeting in London catalogues with many different kinds of red shoes were distributed among the Faithful for ladies to browse. Within minutes an entire lorryload of assorted red shoes arrived at the parish hall. Some of the traditionalist women have even ordered six different types of red shoes, leaving their husbands confused as to what reason there could be for such a variety. In one parish hall in a London Catholic Church, health and safety regulations are said to be in danger of being broken, because since the rallying cry for red shoes has been released, "you cannot move for red shoes".

A parish hall in London prepares for the big march on 'Red Shoes Day'

One husband and father said, "I know I'm traditional in my outlook on life, but I still cannot fathom why she needs so many pairs of shoes. That said, if only our beloved Holy Father would take a more varied approach to his shoe collection as my wife does, I guess we would not have to be descending in our tens of thousands upon the Eternal City!"

It is suggested that on arrival the million traditionalists may sing David Bowie's 'Let's Dance' in which the lyrics suggest, 'Let's Dance/Put on your red shoes and dance the blues.' Naturally, this modern hit will be sung in Latin so that all tourists in Rome understand the message.

As yet, Vatican spokesperson Fr Lombardi has made no official comment on the plans.

Forget the jeans and sweater Father

From Catholic Memes

Popes on Relativism

Sounds to me like the new Pope isn't worlds apart from the old Pope, though you wouldn't glean that from the media coverage. Sounds to me the new Pope says what the old Pope says only the previous Pope was more terse and pithy.

I do like that though: '...the so called richer countries...'

May God bless our Holy Father Francis, now reigning gloriously.