Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Child Protection

Social Services: "Hello. We've decided to take your child into care. We have to protect children because you're a drug addict/alcoholic/mentally ill person/too poor. Your newborn will be adopted to a wealthy, gay couple in Chelmsford. You'll only be able to have contact when she's 18."

Drug addict: "You evil bastards!"

In another part of the same town...

(Ring, ring)

Young lady: "Hello, is that the BPAS?"

BPAS: "Yes."

Young lady: "Hello. I'd like to kill my unborn child, please. I'm up the duff after some random shag and, anyway, it might have a foetal abnormality because I'm on medication for depression. I think the condom split."

BPAS: "Great, when do you want to come in?"

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