The best theory I have heard so far is that the Earth's magnetic field is going screwy, but that is just a stab in the dark and it wasn't even a scientist who said it.
The latest on the mass bird and fish deaths is that thousands of turtle doves have fallen on Italy. Turtle doves? They're meant to go up, rather than down, aren't they?! Still, so far, no starlings, pigeons or seagulls dropping out of the sky in Brighton, so we, in Sussex, at least, have been spared the 'beakinning of the end', the 'aflockalypse', the 'wren-d' times, the Great 'Jay of Wrath', the, oh, I'll shut up for now, but you really have to ask whether this would have happened if the Bishops hadn't moved Epiphany to the Sunday because, as we all know, every time you mess with the Church's calendar, God kills either a flock of birds or a shoal of fish.
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