What do you fancy? An Indian or Chinese?

Mmmm.....well, I had an Indian last Sunday so maybe I'll go for the Chinese. No, silly, I am not talking about take away meals....it's the Mass! You know, the one where back in the 70s there was all that fuss about how you must have Mass in the vernacular and how Latin must be kicked into touch? Got it?

I really am sorry to raise this again especially as I posted on it recently but I have received reports that indicate that more and more overseas priests are being appointed to parishes left right and centre and that they bring with them, their own language (and culture) Masses.




Indian curry, Yes! - Indian Mass - No thanks!


I am not a xenophobe, honest, it's just that nothing gets a Bishop in a tizz quicker than asking for an Extraordinary Form of Mass to be provided. "A what?" he roars "Doncha know that it's anti women and unchristian and, anyway, there's no call for it?"
Funny the way people always say "there's no call for it" just when you are asking them for it!
"B-b-but Bishop" one stammers, "you have parishes with Mass in the Malabar Rite, in Putonghua, Tagalog, Polish, Spanish, Swedish and Yiddish (well, maybe not the last one) why can't we have it in a universal language like, err, like Latin?"

"Listen you elitist racist scum just you forget about all that fancy Latiney nonsense and forget about having it in English too, or Welsh for that matter. With the lack of vocations and the way Rome treats us Bishops you are very lucky to have a Mass at all!"
"Sorry Bishop, what about Erse?"

Now an innate and rare sense of fairness compels me to tell you that Kate at
Australia Incognita disagrees with me. She has a case to state and you may read it on her excellent blog. But I am adamant in my stance.
The world is surely set on its head when we no longer even have an English Mass to attend.

Oh, and by the way, from now on this blog will be available in Serbo-Croat, Ket and Shqip. Howda?

A service level agreement - for Bishops?

Yes, back in the naughty nineties, service level agreements were all the rage in industry. I actually like the concept; it is a very good way of focusing attention on what one should be doing and how efficiently one should do it.
Let me explain. A service level agreement (SLA) was a written timed plan of each and every action that you might reasonably be expected to perform if you were providing a service to a consumer. For example, if you were a Chinese take away restaurateur your SLA might begin like this:-

1. Answer incoming phone calls within three rings
2. Provide all menu items within a ten minute time frame
3. Deliver within a 3 mile radius within 20 minutes of order

You get the picture - it's a blow by blow account of performance aims. It's a means of moving towards a quality standard, of achieving excellence.

So how would it work for a Bishop? Well I am proposing that it might be used as a tool for achieving better performance from his priests. That is not to say that they are all performing badly, I revert to my old formula of one third excellent, one third reasonable and one third poor to abysmal. Our excellent priests are truly excellent and, if we had a 100 like Fr Tim, Fr Ray, Fr Z, Fr Simon Henry, Fr Sean, Fr Jason, Fr John B etc., we would have England and Wales back as Mary's Dowry within ten years!
But just think what power we would have if we could convert the other two thirds into similar dynamic and holy priests - the churches would be full again and vocations directors would be snowed under with applicants.

So here is a somewhat simplistic draft for the Bishops to consider, it is not exhaustive, please feel free to add your own particular SLA as you see fit, this list is not in any particular order:-

TO ALL DIOCESAN PRIESTS - PLEASE ADOPT THE FOLLOWING AGREEMENT

1. Dress in clerical garb on all public occasions. Mufti is only to be worn when relaxing at base or, on holiday away from your parish.

2. Ensure that the sick and infirm of the parish have access to the Sacrament of Penance BEFORE a visit from an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion

3. Provide opportunities for adoration of the Blessed Sacrament at least once per week

4. Provide a 40 hours Blessed Sacrament exposition at least once per quarter

5. Visit every school in your parish for catechesism classes once each week

6. Check every 6 months if there is a demand for the Extraordinary Form of Mass with your parishioners (and implement it if required)

7. Spend at least two hours each day on your knees in front of a crucifix or the Blessed Sacrament

8. Establish a bi-weekly rosary group

9. Make a visit plan to ensure that you visit (and bless) every home in your parish once each year

10. Increase Mass attendance on a Sunday by 5% year on year


Please add any that you think I might have left out. It works very well in commerce, I see no reason why it should not work in the parish.

NB: Could all  Bishops wishing to take this further please form an orderly queue.

The developing world needs young priests......

....so why do so many British Bishops enlist them as parish priests for their Diocese?

This is an issue that has been bubbling away for the last 15 years or so. Why, are we enlisting foreign priests to work in English and Welsh parishes?
It appears as if the Missions of my youth to places such as Senegal and Zanzibar are now operating in reverse. Instead of White Fathers can we now expect Black ones? Are we the "new" needy and deprived of the world?
There may be a case for, say, a Polish priest to attend a parish that has a high number of expatriate Poles but the greatest influx of priests is coming from India, the Phillipines and African countries - don't they need these priests there? Aren't these the countries with a rapidly swelling Catholic population?

We know the answer of course. It is the simplest solution to the UK vocations crisis; the one that requires least effort. The one that does not require a denial of the de-construction of the faith that took place in the 70s and 80s.
I cannot comprehend how these priests are even allowed in the country to work. My understanding of the British system for admitting foreign people who intend working here is that, in most cases it is strictly forbidden. The prospective employer has to prove that there are no viable UK (or EU)applicants for the post (perhaps that is the key). At any rate the UK Border Authority normally require a limit placed on the stay of  the individual....that does not seem to be happening here.

What harm is being done? Surely this is a way of ensuring that parishes have a priest to tend to the needs of the faithful?

My concerns are firstly, that the priest is in demand back home and we should not be plundering  easy recruitment grounds overseas in order to prop up our own failings. Secondly, many of these priests bring a totally different form of Catholic culture with them. I do not wish to see  priests going about their duties dressed in dhotis or garlanded with flowers and I certainly do not wish to see the liturgy further distorted with add ons based on "this is how we used to do it in Manilla".

If this all seems rather churlish and insular, I am sorry but I just cannot approach it in any other way. Of course, we are the universal church and one of the advantages of that is the acceptance of all nationalities but I cannot get away from the fact that, in a relatively small Diocese such as Menevia, something approaching 30% of the priest population originates from abroad.