Controversial Lord Slams Divans, Launches Scathing Attack on Britain's Favourite Bed

The bed most offensive to God?: The classic divan with under-bed storage

By Bill Gardner
Religious Correspondent 
The Argus

Shocked parishioners of Brighton's Catholic churches walked out distraught yesterday as they heard of God's detestation for divan beds.

Divans slammed, but set for bounce back

The divan bed, well known for its comfort as well as useful under-bed storage facility was at the heart of a controversial statement in yesterday's reading that sent shockwaves through the Catholic community, 67% of whom are said to own the offending instruments of sleeping luxury. In the biblical passage read out at Mass yesterday, the controversial Lord blasted the divan, leaving communicants wondering whether they should approach the Sacred Banquet of Holy Communion, having slept on a divan bed just the previous night.

'Woe to those ensconced so snugly in Zion
and to those who feel so safe on the mountain of Samaria,
Lying on ivory beds and sprawling on their divans,
they dine on lambs from the flock...'

That's better!: An ordinary bed construction pleasing to the Lord

Catholic quilt complex

In what has since become known as 'Catholic quilt complex', many worshippers complained of the Lord's controversial words over one of the nation's favourite beds. One worshipper who came to Mass five minutes late and left immediately after Communion said,

"You have to get to know the Lord first before you make up your mind about some of the things He says. Sometimes He just gets angry and blows His top over something that appears relatively small and unimportant - divans being a case in point. He did this especially in the Old Testament. It's a part of His personality and you just have to get used to it. What can we say? 'In a quilt I was born, a sinner was I conceived'. I think you have to supply a corrective to the divan thing and that is that Jesus's approach is much more gentle and caring. Perhaps if the Lord were to know just how popular the divan was to become in the 21st century, He might have thought twice about saying that. I can understand how many think that's just offensive to modern sleepers."

The first time they tried this, he was lowered on a divan

How did Jesus treat the divan?

Speculation is rife that some of the Lord's healings in the New Testament may have had to be 're-done' because of God's dislike of the divan.

For example, the man lowered through the roof in the Gospels, we are told, is lowered down on a 'bed'. Theologians suggest that the first time the man was lowered through the roof, he was on a divan. Knowing He was to fulfill the whole law, His Apostles sent him back up the roof saying, "Look, the Lord wants to heal you, but lose the divan already! You know how much His Dad can't stand them!"

In another example, the healing of Jairus's daughter, theologians speculate whether the Lord Jesus, approaching the bed of the young girl may have realised that she was sleeping on a divan and only healed her out of his boundless compassion, in spite of his obvious misgivings about the luxury bed with the useful under-mattress storage facility so loved by the people of today.

Theologians continue to ponder on whether the Lord possibly checked under the sheets first to make sure it wasn't a divan and, seeing that it was an ordinary bed without the useful compartments for storage, healed the girl.

Mercy: The Lord heals Jairus's daughter even though she's on a divan?

As can be seen in the re-construction, the family and friends of the young girl clearly tried to cover up what kind of bed she was sleeping on. Some speculate that she was moved to a different bed, which was not a divan, while others maintain she was indeed on a divan, but the Lord, knowing everything, looked with pity and compassion upon the young girl and in His mercy healed and raised her up anyway.

Argus survey reveals crisis at heart of Catholic Church

An exclusive Argus survey of two Catholics in the region suggested that if God's position on the divan does not change substantially within the reign of Pope Francis the slumbering Church will eventually die due to lack of members. Many Catholics hope that Pope Francis will enable the Church to get with a more comfortable programme for the Church's members all round, but if he does not come up with the goods many in the Church will take at face value the words of the Lord who told the crippled man to 'take up thy bed and walk'.

'Memory foam': A mental affliction affecting many Catholics

My 'memory foam' agony

These angered Catholics, however, will take up their beds and walk out of the Church with one man saying...

"I've suffered all my life with this kind of Catholic quilt complex. Why should I have to change my bed, or even my sheets, for religious reasons? Why is the Catholic Church always interfering in the bedroom? It hurts so much, it really does no good at all for my memory foam."

'Memory foam' is a mental condition that affects many Catholics, the image to the left showing exactly what happens when Catholics are indoctrinated by the Church with notions of sin or Salvation. The graphic image let's Argus readers know just how impressionable are the minds of these Catholics, that they absorb both shock and information (shocking information) so readily.

Two minutes of pop perfection there. William, it really was nothing. It was your journalistic integrity, now lampooned regularly on the internet.

Photo Competition

Which of these pictures has been doctored?

I see that on Friday 13th September, just a matter of days after fitting up Fr Ray Blake good and improper, The Argus ran this piece, again by Bill Gardner, on 'homeless people injecting bath salts during deadly poke parties.'

Will that be the 'messy' poor again, Bill?

Is shame a completely alien concept to The Argus? It would certainly appear so!

1st prize for the competition will be an evening trapped in a cage underwater at the Sea Life Centre, Brighton, with Bill Gardner, surrounded by some rare breeds of shark and a small school of pirhanas.*

2nd prize is an meal for two at Harry Ramsden's Fish and Chip Shop at the Marina with reporter Bill Gardner. **

3rd prize is a free copy of The Argus signed personally by a now infamous rogue journalist who handed in his conscience and his principles when he obtained his NCTJ certificate and who currently makes his living off fitting up Catholic priests for money and sadistic pleasure.***

*Should you win this prize, you may come to believe that you are in a cage with an unusual predator as well as facing them outside of the cage and require a round of counselling after the event. You may well be right but That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill accepts no responsibility should you come out of the experience requiring psychological help because you came face to face with an unexpectedly horrifying and bloodthirsty creature inside the underwater cage.

**Should any Catholic win this competition, metal cutlery will not be provided, instead the use of the small, wooden fork will be encouraged. Regardless of your religious affiliation, it is advised that you do not open your heart to the now infamous journalist, nor converse with him, since he will most likely misrepresent you in his next feature for The Argus and diminish your reputation in the public eye. That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill accepts no responsibility should the reporter drag your name through the mud within a week of your mealtime chat at Harry Ramsden's.

***You may wish to use the free copy of The Argus to ring around the advertisers found therein and advise them not to bother with this visciously anti-Catholic newspaper. That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill accept no responsibility for the loss of revenue that may be incurred by this appalling local rag, riddled from beginning to end with amateur journalism and a lack of noteworthy content, but for its blatant hypocrisy.

The Argus Begin Their Defence of the Super-Strength Lager Rights of Brighton's, Shhh, Say it Quietly, 'Messy' Poor

Bill, what were you thinking?  And I'm not talking of the golliwog endorsement...

Just for a laugh I picked up a copy of The Argus to see whether they were doing their usual job of resiliently defending the rights of the 'messy poor'.

Under the headline 'Super-strength booze ban bid,' The Argus today reveal how Hastings Borough Council are implementing a ban on super-strength alcohol, because of the anti-social behaviour problems caused when (I think it might just be the poor, you know) drink it. Over the next few days, check out the comments under the article to find out just what Brighton's 'good people' think of Brighton's street drinkers.

'The Argus, revealed in July that Brighton and Hove City Council is developing a city-wide accreditation scheme allowing stores to advertise themselves as responsible retailers if they agree to a set of conditions including not selling super-strength beers and ciders.'

I looked in the Editorial page to see whether anyone from The Argus has highlighted the obvious hypocrisy of the Council's idea, when the whole ethos of Brighton is one of embracing the hedonistic lifestyle and denouncing anyone who criticises it because its a city of 'live and let live' where 'all lifestyle choices are welcome'. We might add that all lifestyles are welcome here, as long as the poor do not embrace them! Heaven forfend!

Are we saying some of the poor are 'messy'?

The lager choice of many an irritating little....

According to The Argus, the Hastings pilot scheme has gone relatively well, depending on whether you believe this flagrant policy targeting the 'messy' poor is either ethical or even wise, given that they'll most likely move onto vodka.

'The ban in the town centre, the Old Town and Central St Leonards areas, will launch on October 18.  The anonymous resident who organised the campaign said the petition was started because the community could no longer put up with street drinkers fighting in the sreet, open drug dealing and obscenities shouted in the street'.

He said: "This is a good, positive step forward and we will see what happens come October. It might just mean that street drinkers get drunk on low-strength alcohol. We just hope that the message will get through to off-licences that we are fed up with them selling alcohol to people who are obviously drunk and that street drinkers need to think about themselves as part of the community."

So, no word yet though, in opinion, from the vigilant Hollingbury based-defenders of the poor of Brighton, a proportion of whom are addicted to super-strength alcohol and who regularly ask parish priests for money to get to Southampton and then Hastings the next day, to see 'dying relatives'. Obviously, though, what with Bill Gardner, who I see is on a programme on ITV tonight, called Fear and Loathing Online about internet trolls (I guess it takes one to know one, eh, Bill?) being such a splendid campaigner for the poor to do whatever the poor want to do without any other members of the community commenting upon it in any way whatsoever, I expect to hear his thoughts soon.

Coming to a town near you, if you are poor and drink Skol

Of course, it could just be that Bill and The Argus news team have no real concern for the 'messy' poor, secretly resent them like much of Brighton and just wanted to stitch up a Catholic priest by misrepresenting his considered thoughts on the poor and the Church after all. Could it possibly be so?

Nothing in the Editorial today about this latest news from The Argus that suggests that something like prohibition is coming to Brighton - targeted explicitly at Jason and his friends - but I wait with baited breath for them to defend the super-strength alcohol rights of the 'messy' poor?

What a wonderful campaign this will be for The Argus to lend its considerable support in the Brighton area - The Argus's 'Special Campaign for the Super-Strength Lager Rights of Brighton's Street Drinkers'. I can see it now. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

I can't wait for this campaign

 O yes! You'll be waiting a lifetime for such a campaign from that quarter of Brighton! The Argus news team - you really are a bunch of jokers. How's about me and George buy a van, go to wholesalers and make a packet out of selling street drinkers Skol Super in our 'ice-cream van'? It's only 'business' after all. Of course, a percentage of our takings will go to our rehab house for the poor and to the Church building fund, naturally.

The Argus: Little Form in Defending the Poor of Brighton

It was my friend George, of course, who was stitched up by the local authority, the police, his housing association and, eventually, the lap-dog of the local authority, The Argus, who printed a few years ago that he and Diane were running a 'crack-den' at their home, when, in fact, they were both poor crack addicts who had other poor and homeless crack addicts back to their flat to smoke crack.

They didn't always smoke crack. Often they took heroin too. However, when I visited Sheffield Court to learn Johnny Cash songs with George, they weren't doing crack or heroin and I couldn't see any crack and there was nobody else there smoking crack, so its possible they just had friends round at irregular times with similar drug taking issues as them at the time in a town awash with drugs and the mass taking of class As in every club in the city. George and Diane certainly were not 'dealing'.

Sheffield Court, from where George and Diane were evicted

Evicted and Shoved from Pillar to Post

In the end, just 0.1 mg of crack cocaine was found in the entire flat, for which George had to pay a £180 fine. Now, half the police force in Brighton know George by his first name, despite the fact that in every club in Brighton cocaine is being snorted in toilets with near total immunity from prosecution!

The local authority and Moat Housing got their wish though, and George and Diane were shoved out for good from beloved Sheffield Court flat, which was what their 'nice' neighbours, Moat Housing, the police, the local authority and the powers that be, against which they had no real defender, wanted all along. For some reason, The Argus made it appear (with attending video of the huge 'drugs bust') that a huge drug operation involving about ten police officers ramming in their New England Quarter door had been 'successful' and that a source of Brighton's drug problems had been stamped out for good. A case for misrepresentation? I'd say perhaps so!

'Crack den': Odd because George and Diane's place was perfectly normal

The Poor: Scapegoats of Brighton's Sins

In the end, George and Diane were both made homeless, slept on the streets for a while, until they ended up in the privately-owned dump, Percival Terrace, which makes loads of cash out of housing benefits from the drug addicts, mental health sufferers, alcoholics and other homeless men and women, charges exhorbitant rent from the local authority and leaves their tenants in utter squalour. From here they were sent to such 'dives' as 17-19 Grand Parade and other such horrific tenements owned by the rapacious Baron Homes Corporation Ltd, sister company of Brighton's biggest property company, Baron Estates. Not that you could have learned about the injustice of that firm through reading The Argus, mind. Not to 'blow' my own trumpet, but if they had any sense, they'd employ me as their 'homelessness correspondent' because I'm developing quite a 'contacts' book.

So let's hear it for those champions of Brighton's poor, The Argus. A more lazy and, dare I say it, rather hypocritical bunch of hacks you would be hard pressed to find. How keen was The Argus to point out the speck in Fr Blake's eye, when the beam in their own is yet to be removed. If they cared about the poor, they would indeed write about what they have to live through, how they are stigmatised and exploited by ruthless private landlords. If they cared, they would interview those on the streets and hostels, including the much maligned street-drinking homeless community whose only real crime is that they can't afford to drink in pubs and have nowhere else to congregate but upon the street.

Me too!

If This Man is Not Irritating Then Why Does He Have This ASBO?

I've asked The Argus this question - no answer.

They say that Bishop Kieran Conry does not read the blogs of his priests. Perhaps he should read the blogs of his laity.

This man, Jason Evans, has been sent by God to test the love, patience and and holiness of Christians. If you don't believe that aspect of Christianity, because you are an unbeliever, or a Protestant, read the letter of St James about 'faith and works'.

Jason Evans has been sent to test my holiness, or, perhaps as a better explanation of what holiness is, to test whether my faith is real and sincere - whether I love God and my neighbour or whether I do not. I do not always pass this test. In fact, I regularly fail it. I've sworn at him, told him to go away, get out of my life, thrown him away from my door and the rest. I'm a sinner who falls short of the glory of God.

Every now and then God will send him to me at 2am in the morning to shout "I'm cold" up at my window. Sometimes I respond and at such time I win merit, at other times, to my shame, I do not. Sometimes I do that which I should and sometimes I see the good that I should do and do not do it.

"Exhibit A, your honour - so incredibly irritating!"

Please note, Mr Gardner: Jason was on this occasion thrown out of St Bartholomew's not because he was quietly saying the Rosary, but because he was going around irritating people in the Church. I know this because I asked people in the Church after I did the interview. After setting his own head on fire in this Church while lighting a candle for a dead friend, I believe he was banned from this Church. Because of his unruly behaviour and manner, the Church of Christ the King do not allow him in to their meals on a Monday evening, instead giving him some food at the door. Despite disturbing St Mary Magdalen's sacred liturgy on several occasions, he is still allowed in the Catholic Church of which Fr Ray Blake is parish priest.

This man has also been sent by God to chastise Brighton, since it revels in vice, hedonism and immorality, He sends a poor little one who does the same as other Brighton hedonists who are protected by their wealth, to show Brighton the natural result when this lifestyle is embraced and to reveal the double-standards and hypocrisy of the wicked, since when the rich embrace a life of vice and endless pleasure for its own sake, they are lauded, but when the poor man does the same he is crucified, mocked, derided and cast out by the wicked. All the while his cause is with the Lord, Who is Just as He is merciful, whereas the lot of the wicked is destruction.

None of this alters the fact that he is an irritating little ******d. You don't get an ASBO like this without being so.

And yet, despite this, Jason Evans has never trashed the reputation of those who help him, love him, provide for him, shelter him, clothe him, feed him and give him money, often against their better instincts. Defamation, slander, malice, wicked speech are all far from him. He makes his money from begging, not ruining the reputations of others! Messy, lying little irritating little ******d. Anyway, enough about Bill Gardner!

Mr Gardner: Enjoy your success while you have it - it may not last too long.

Only unscrupulous journalists take pleasure in malicious slander, gossip and defamation of the character of those who take pity on the poor. Only unscrupulous journalists will write any destructive, sensationalist rubbish in order to denigrate the reputation of others while making a fast buck, in the vain and ambitious hope it might get them into a daily national newspaper. Mr Gardner's ruthless ambition, slackness in getting the full story and his lack of journalistic integrity, which should always be grounded in getting to the truth of a matter will not go in his favour.

Sadly for him, when the dust settles on this, and national newspaper editors look up Bill Gardner on Google, they'll see my blog and a host of others detailing why his brand is now, or should be, toxic. The cause of the just is with the Lord, Who never fails them, Who has the power to turn even the evil that happens to their good. Even bad journalists are sent to try us.

The wicked are ruined by their own sin. What they prized and treasured becomes their downfall. The just man is remembered for the good and charity he has done. The wicked are blotted out from the memory of men, their names forgotten, their treacherous words and deeds going with them to the grave, and having found no rest in this life in their insatiable pursuit of money, power and worldly gain, so too, in the life to come there is no rest, for there can be no rest for the wicked. Their arrows and attacks on the just come to naught, they are confounded, for the cause of the just man is with the Lord, whereas theirs is not, since they never thought to call upon Him.

Do not give up, Fr Blake. Keep hope and trust for your cause is with the Lord. Jason isn't allowed within 5 yards of a cash point. Bill Gardner failed to mention that, perhaps not knowing of whom you were talking. Bill Gardner shouldn't be allowed within 5 yards of a newspaper - local or national! As a journalist he failed abysmally because he didn't want the full story - just a bit of juicy, sensationalist soundbite that he could spin around in order to make you look bad or uncaring or un-Christian. He has no love for the truth - an unhelpful habit if one really wants to be a serious journalist.

A few years ago, Jason stole an engagement ring from my car when I allowed him to sleep there for a while. He pawned it and sold it for smack having discovered it in the glove compartment. Thieving little ******d. He denied it at first but came clean in the end. I'm still thinking about who to have as best man at my wedding to my fiancee next Spring...I think I've made my choice.

He lost his brother at Hillsborough.

At least...That's what he told me.

Bill Gardner.

Enjoy your success while you have it.

It will not last for long.

A time for prayer and a time to gather?

".....And a time to blog"

Father Ray Blake and the issue of the Brighton journalist have occupied the minds of many over the past three or four days and little more needs to be said except that, it is good to see how the Catholic family responds when one of their best loved priests is under threat.

Now Father Ray is considering a dignified withdrawal from blogging, and who could blame him?
He is not leaving because he is bruised and battered, he will shoulder any amount of abuse on behalf of the Christ.

He is leaving because he does not wish to bring acrimony or embarrassment to his brother priests and his bishop.

Well, acrimony they should deal with and, if embarrassed, they need to go and sit on a hard rock on a mountainside somewhere for a few days and reflect on their purpose in life.

We can do little for Father Ray other than to offer him our support by leaving a comment HERE and, most importantly, by dedicating a daily rosary on his behalf this week - a spiritual bouquet that will help him return to us with all haste.

NOT A TIME FOR SILENCE

All things have their season, and in their times all things pass under heaven.      
 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.     A time to kill, and a time to heal. A time to destroy, and a time to build.      
 A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn, and a time to dance.      
 A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather.
A time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.

A time to get, and a time to lose. A time to keep, and a time to cast away.      
 A time to rend, and a time to sew. A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.      
 A time of love, and a time of hatred. A time of war, and a time of peace.      
 What hath man more of his labour?      
 I have seen the trouble, which God hath given the sons of men to be exercised in it.

The Argus Editorial Team on 'Automatic Reply' Mode

How The Argus deals with letters to the editor...professional, eh?

I've just received a reply from The Argus from Lucy Pearce, Assistant News Editor. It is the exactly same as that received by other readers who have sent the reply they received to my inbox. It appears The Argus are on auto-reply, failing to address any of the issues I actually addressed in my letter or those addressed by others in their letters, instead, justifying to themselves and others why they went ahead with the hit-piece.

They're obviously afraid to address the points made by those writing in complaint (and there will be plenty of them) and have a universal reply to all the inaccuracies, misrepresentations and accusations present in their article because the truth of their hatchet job is so obvious to them, there is 'one reply for all'.

Amateurs.

I'd send Jason and his friends round to The Argus to confront Bill Gardner with my video camera to record the conversation, but I think one of his friends might have stolen it off me while he was giving me a hug last night. He said he needed a hug. Funny. I had it on me when I was with them last night, but suddenly it disappeared. By the time I got home it was gone. Today they all ended up denied any knowledge of having seen it. One of them, the one who hugged me said that he knows where it is, and he can get it back to me if I gave him forty quid. I called him a joker and then he suddenly realised he thought I was talking about a mobile phone.

Perhaps its fallen down the back of the sofa or something because they are honest, salt of the earth poor incapable of telling lies. Oh and my fags. I had them on me when I left them this evening. They seem to have disappeared from my pocket as well tonight. I guess they must have fallen down the back of the sofa too.

You think I'm joking? Nope!

As if to illustrate Fr Ray Blake's point: The poor, eh? Innocent, cuddly and upright the lot of 'em! Lord, bless 'em!

I've got St Anthony of Padua on the case, so I'll let you know if he finds my camera for me. I'll check in Cash Converters over the next few days.

Unlike the Local Authority, At St Mary Magdalen's We Treasure and Love Our Irritating Little B******

It wasn't the Church or Fr Ray Blake that ordered a stringent ASBO on this man, banning him from central Brighton and anywhere he may 'upset the tourists' or the shoppers and consumers of this  'diverse' city, where all but the poor are welcomed with open arms. This man is so irritating, so drunk, so regularly off his nut and so very intrusive in his beggging techniques, that he is not allowed in vast areas of Brighton itself. At St Mary Magdalen's Church, however, he is welcomed, often against our own interests and the safeguarding of the dignity of the Sacred Liturgy,

It wasn't the Church or Fr Ray Blake that evicts him, regularly, from homeless hostels. It wasn't the Church or Fr Ray Blake that hounds him from pillar to post, who sees him as a 'problem to be solved' by punishment or draconian action, monitoring him, inhibiting his movement, freedom, rights and dignity. No. That will be the local authorities - that will be the Council, the Probation service, the Social Services, Alcohol and Substance Misuse Services and Mental Health Services (exactly where are they when you actually need them!?) and all those charged with a statutory duty of care for someone classed as a 'vulnerable person'! Does Fr Ray ban him from his parish Church? No. Who bans him from the streets of inner Brighton? The loving arms of the State, at a local level, of course! Who wants him out of Brighton? The Council, the rich, the powerful!

Bill Gardner, sir, and all you lousy daily national journalists, who thought it might be fun to bring down the reputation of a good and holy priest by taking out of context his thoughts on the duties Christians have to the poor, I challenge you to spend ten minutes with this man and not feel in any way 'irritated' and to think or say anything that does not offend holy charity. I've tried it a million times. I am convinced it is impossible to all but God. I challenge you to get the real story here - how one man survives each winter - against all the odds, when the local authority abandons him to the rain, cold, sleet and snow. How one man keeps going despite his many setbacks in life, despite his horrific childhood, despite his addictions to drugs and alcohol, despite being beaten up regularly on the streets by other homeless people. There's a story. The man is a living story, an embodiment of the Gospel message to us, and a challenge to all of us, Christian or not, to respond with love, 'tough love' perhaps, but love nonetheless, to a poor man rejected by nearly all in society but the Catholic Church (He's not allowed in CCK you know - those 'welcoming' Protestant evangelicals) and those who adhere to Her teachings on the love of Christ served in the poor.

After this interview, I asked this man whether he thought that, at times, he could be described as 'irritating'.

He agreed.

Pray for the public vindication of Fr Ray Blake against the malicious slander that has been sent in his direction, not merely in the local pathetic excuse for a newspaper, but now in the national daily press as well. Of course, just because this man is, as virtually all of Brighton knows, an irritating little ******d, does not mean we do not care for him, treasure him, love him, cloth him, feed him and give him some loose change when we have it because these are actions of love. This is what Jesus tells us to do.

Pray too for Jason. He says that he is only evicted for a night or two. Of course, the Council's hostel have said that before...

Open Letter to the Editor of The Argus

Dear Mr Beard

I was astonished to read on The Argus website the disgusting hit-piece written by Bill Gardner on Fr Ray Blake parish priest of St Mary Magdalen Church.

I have been a parishioner at this church for ten years and in all that time, Fr Blake has been nothing but kind to the poor and homeless of Brighton and Hove.

His original blogpost on which he discussed the poor and the Church was, I thought, excellent. Why, then, was it that Bill Gardner neglected to link to it in his article for The Argus?

In fact, the man who Fr Blake spoke of as someone who, if unrestrained, would indeed take a hat out and do a collection is known to me and I can vouch that he is indeed difficult to cope with. Despite my asking him to desist, he calls at my window at midnight, disturbing me and my neighbours.

He has disturbed Mass several times (a very serious sin in the Catholic Church known as sacrilege) and I believe he has been banned from St Bartholomew's Church, London Road for disturbing their services.

The fact remains, however, that though this person is both irritating and 'messy', that he is still welcomed at St Mary Magdalen Church and finds kindness among its parishioners, as do the homeless and poor of Brighton.

It is also true that while he is given sanctuary at the Church, that he is actually banned from 44 streets in Brighton since he was given a never-ending ASBO. So, in fact, he finds a welcome at the Church whereas he is rejected by the local authorities and the vast majority of Brighton people. The Church offers him charity - a charity which is seldom to be found in the Council, the Police, the probation services and the Courts.

Fr Blake also helps other poor and homeless people who come to his door. They are not all honest and some do indeed lie in order to get money. I know this is true because I am the secretary at the Church and often respond to callers and give from the poor fund established by the Church for their relief. Despite this, if you read his post, it was about how Christians should respond to the poor, not an attack on the poor themselves.

I would like to see The Argus print an apology on their destructive and slanderous piece of journalism and to see Bill Gardner, especially, make a formal apology to my parish priest in the newspaper, since he clearly does not know what he is talking about. He has taken comments made by Fr Blake out of context and not even linked to his original post in order for people to make up their own minds. This I would like to see because The Argus have denigrated the character of a good man who is only kind to the poor of Brighton and Hove, who established one of the two soup runs in the region (no soup runs provided by the Council, you'll notice) in order to feed them and who has to deal with the homeless who come to his door on a daily basis.

This denigration of the character of Fr Blake has now made it into the headlines of the national press, despite the fact that the priest has said nothing wrong and done nothing wrong. He was writing as someone who has to greet the homeless who come to his door every day and night and who even allows a man (an irritating little ********!) who committed sacrilege in his Church to come to Mass and disturb the prayers of his Church while Mass is taking place. By rights, he should have been forcibly removed and forbidden to re-enter as he has been from an Anglican Church, St Bartholomews, since he accidentally set his own head on fire last Christmas while lighting a candle.

I have responded to Bill Gardner's piece here at the link below.

http://thatthebonesyouhavecrushedmaythrill.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/support-fr-ray-blake.html

I think that he should read it and accept that he is in the wrong. He should also try to restore the damaged reputation of Fr Blake, who has done nothing but good for the homeless of Brighton and was only openly discussing how Christians should respond. If he cannot bring himself to do this, then the least he can do is link to Fr Blake's original post - something he notably failed to do in his article - thereby distorting Fr Ray's message and thoughts on the subject of the poor and the Church.

Yours sincerely

Laurence England
Parishioner of St Mary Magdalen Church, Brighton

UPDATE: 

I have just heard that the individual who disturbs Mass has just been evicted, once again, from his hostel in St James's Street, Kemptown, Brighton, so I guess it is not just the parish priest of St Mary Magdalen who finds him irritating and it is not just him who believes he disturbs the peace of those around him. It would appear the homeless hostel funded by Brighton and Hove City Council agree with him.

Support Fr Ray Blake

Readers,

I have just returned from a small break away and urge you to defend Fr Ray Blake whose August post musing on the Feast of St Lawrence and the poor has been misrepresented and distorted by a shoddy journalist for The Argus.

In his blogpost, Fr Ray suggested that Christians needed to let the poor 'mess things up' a little in the lives of Christians. Oh boy! And this one does - so much so I'm thinking of moving to Southampton!

Perhaps, given that he is so interested in defending the poor against the accusations of Catholic priests in Brighton, Bill Gardner would like to live in Fr Ray's Presbytery for a week and see how he copes with managing with greeting the poor who come to Fr Ray's door seeking his help, financial or otherwise.

Or, alternatively, Mr Gardner, you could, as Fr Ray has suggested, help out either with the asylum seekers charity working from Fr Ray's basement that distributes food to those with no access to public funds, or to the homeless of Brighton and Hove (many of whom have no benefits) who are fed directly by the soup run of St Mary Magdalen Church every day of the year come rain, come shine, without fail.

Or, alternatively, Mr Gardner, you could come and live at my flat for a week and have the man pictured above disturb your cozy lifestyle by shouting, as he was five minutes ago, up at your window at midnight, disturbing both you and your neighbours. Unlike me he has a heart of gold, but such sentiments go out of the window when he turns up there and bellows your name.

By no means was Fr Ray's whole article centred on this one individual, but perhaps Mr Gardner should be aware that this individual finds more mercy, charity and love at St Mary Magdalen's Church and from its Christians than he finds in all of Brighton, since the Council saw fit years ago to place upon him an ASBO that means he is banned from nearly the whole of Brighton bar London Road and parts of Kemptown. Anyone would have thought Brighton and Hove City Council wanted this man out of town, or something!

When he's not going around begging, drinking and making noise, he's being fitted up by Sussex Police in an entrapment process to get him back inside for selling them drugs, or being put back behind bars for breaking his draconian ASBO, for such offenses as walking on the wrong side of the street, or for walking on a street from which he is banned. Perhaps the only place this man is not banned is St Mary Magdalen Church, even though, frankly, he has disturbed worship enough times to have been forcibly removed and forbidden from ever re-entering.

Perhaps, Mr Gardner, next time you are on London Road, you can interview this man (yes, I'm sure you recognise him) about his life, his horrific upbringing, his behaviour, his ASBO, how Sussex Police fit him and other homeless people up for prison via entrapment by deceptively getting them to sell them drugs and other such tales. You could do that, if you were a real journalist, but you are not - not yet at any rate. You are a tired and lazy journalist who takes stuff people having written on their blogs only to misrepresent their reasoning to fit your own prejudices and agenda, and, just to prove you are really lazy, fails to give readers the original source of your 'quotes', thereby slandering the person who wrote the really quite thought provoking piece.

Because of his misrepresentation, malicious in nature, if perhaps not in intent, Fr Ray's good name has now been soiled not only in the local rag but in the Daily Mail, The Sun and The Telegraph as well. Lazy journalism all round, since the Mail went and lifted Gardner's article and more or less reprinted it word for word.

So, sorry to break it to the anti-Catholic press, local and national, but one of the individuals Fr Ray was talking about in his post finds sanctuary in the Church, whereas he is cast out and shoved from pillar to post by Brighton's corrupt city Council, its corrupt Police and more or less everyone else save for the Church and the small minority of people living here who have compassion on the poor. Perhaps next time, Mr Gardner, check your facts, get some context, link to the source material and interview the actual people involved in this multi-paper pile-up of a journalistic car crash.

Well its gone midnight and I've ignored him and put a bit of money outside my flat for him.

What would you do, Mr Gardner? Call the police?

Yep. Thought so!

This morning I wrote a post on the poor......

....and how Fr Blake has been so scandalously treated by a stringer on his local rag, The Argus.

But, it seems that the Catholic blogging world and his friend have leapt to the defence of the good priest.

So, I have deleted my post because it was not as good as anybody else's and there is nothing worse than poor repetition.

But, you might be interested to know about the Argus.

The Argus is, (as any fule kno) a monster with one hundred eyes whose main task in life appeared to be to guard the white heifer.

Pray for Fr Blake who has this monster to contend with

Hermes did a good job by polishing him off with a stone.

This, story, of course, leads to the old chestnut.....

"What is the difference between a stringer on The Argus and a pilchard?"

Answer: One is oily, smelly and has poppy eyes.....and the other is a fish"

The Argus Runs 'Special Investigation' Concerning Wiston Clinic

Pensions and pay: Something worth getting really worked up about...

Well, I have a short while to blog, so I'll cut to the chase.  I had a spare hour the other day, so thought I'd drop by on the 40 Days for Life vigil taking place outside Wiston Clinic, Brighton's abortion house. I had time to pray to the Blessed Mother of God for all inside and outside the abortion clinic and chat a while to the two or three souls who kept vigil.

The first thing I'll say is that the vigil is very low-key. It really is two or three people with some magazines, leaflets and some courage asking if they can give passers by, any passers by, some information about abortion.  Because it was 40 Days for Life, rather than Abort 67, there were no graphic images of dead unborn children on display. In the hour that I was there, women, alone or in a couple, came and walked in and out of the clinic.

I saw my role there as someone who prays, maintains a blog and who wanted to write a blogpost on 40 Days for Life's activity in Brighton. Of course, I don't come at this issue without my own opinion on abortion which is informed by what I see as the natural injustice of abortion, a view also informed by the Church's teaching on the innate dignity of the human person. However, I'd also maintain that, whatever way you look at abortion through the 'kaleidoscope' of the modern lens, it always looks rather ugly. Indeed, even those who maintain a pro-abortion stance regularly call the procedure 'highly regrettable', in a similar way to how the IRA used to call the loss of life in Northern Ireland after another bomb blast 'highly regrettable' even though they admitted to planting the bomb in the middle of a shopping centre and exploded it during the day when everyone was out shopping.

I asked one of the 'activists' there whether they had received much coverage from the local press.  I wasn't quite sure how The Argus would take this issue on and was even considering writing a piece and sending it in after what I saw. Now, I realise just how pointless that would have been because not only do I come to this issue from a perspective which sees abortion as a grave injustice to women and children, but The Argus clearly come to this issue believing that the rather low-key vigil outside the clinic is a grave threat to a woman's natural 'right to abortion'. Welcome to the culture clash of 21st century Brighton and, indeed, Britain. 

Taking a clearly different slant to that of The Telegraph (otherwise known as a proper newspaper) and biding their time, The Argus have finally run a 'special investigation' into Wiston Clinic. Instead of investigating the abortion industry, however, the local newspaper decided to investigate the people outside the clinic. Quite why a 'special investigation' is required into the vigils is anybody's guess, since those who publicly stand against the abortion industry do so in the light of day in clear view of everybody.  In fact, unlike the BPAS, they want people to see what they are doing.  

The Argus paper ran with the headline: 'Protesters 'Intimidate' Rape Victim'. It is alleged that a woman complained of being filmed and 'harangued' by the activists. I don't know whether that is true. Personally, from what I know of 40 Days for Life and even the Abort 67 people, the vigils are really very 'hands off'. Most of the day I spent with Abort 67 a while back was literally asking people if they wanted information, being told 'No' and then me looking down at the ground. The simple reason and need for some 'information' is that BPAS are notorious for not providing women with particularly objective facts about abortion. Why would they? It would be like From what I've seen, that seems to be par for the course. From what I have seen of the vigils, the video camera was only whipped out by Abort 67 when the cops showed up for protection. Nobody was filming on the occasions that I visited for an hour to pray and see what was going on. If that is happening then that is not good, but all I can say is that I've seen nothing of the sort. I'll tell you what I did see though.

Only five minutes on my arrival at Wiston Clinic, I saw a woman walk past a woman handing out information on the facts of abortion who took one look at the woman handing out leaflets, said 'No, thank you', to the information, and told the woman handing out the information, "I think you're absolutely disgusting." Charming, eh? Anyone would have thought the woman handing out the information was advocating the mass slaughter of children or something.

During the hour that I was there someone came out of Wiston Clinic with a bag of 'medical waste' and dumped it in the bin outside the clinic. The three or four of us there all knew what was inside the 'medical waste' bag that had been dumped outside the clinic and it is not pleasant to think about because whatever you think about abortion, you know that your funeral will be a great deal more dignified than that, even if your relatives end up playing 'Life is a Rollercoaster' by Ronan Keating or something equally as awful as your corpse lays in the Church and your Soul awaits prayers. Still, even that is more dignified than 'the bin outside the house'.

As I say, no matter how you look at abortion, it doesn't look good and it doesn't look good when unborn children are dumped outside a house in a bin. More than anything else, it is really depressing. And, for each woman that comes out of the abortion clinic skipping down the road in liberated, radiant glory, there will always be another who goes home with a sense of great unease, sadness and ends up writing letters to her deceased unborn baby and drowning out her memory with vodka and paracetamol years later.

Of course, Councillor Mary Mears (who aborted the Open Market in Brighton, along with the livelihoods of some of its traders, so that it could be turned into flats), local Council leaders and our very own Green MP, Caroline Lucas (who aborted my common sense when I damnably voted for her - don't ask) added their concerned voices to the chorus of disapproval of the protesters in The Argus's 'special investigation', as all and sundry basically called for this behaviour which apparently makes those who enter the clinic, both workers and clients feel 'distressed' to be stopped, if not voluntarily, then by force.

Kindly, The Argus allowed one box in the two page spread to the 'view of the anti-abortionist', but, aside from that, you would have thought that the 'special investigation' might uncover great corruption, intrigue and devastating evidence that the campaigners were doing something diabolically evil, wicked and, above all, unlawful. Unfortunately for the BPAS, who run Wiston Clinic, these are now charges being levelled at them all over the British Press. It's a shame that The Argus couldn't go so far as to walk inside the clinic and do some undercover reportage on what the abortion process is really like. For example, what kind of counselling, before and after abortion, is available from BPAS? Hey. Here's an idea, all you 'roving reporters' at The Argus, you who are so great at 'special investigations' with regard to abortion. Why not get someone to open those bins, grab a bag of medical waste and take a look at the contents? No? I can't blame you. After all, that would be a little too 'distressing' now, wouldn't it, especially for Brighton's readers?  To the powerful of this World and to those who live in darkness, there is nothing so distressing as the light of truth.

The Fourth Estate has a moral duty to speak truth to power, to defend the weak and innocent and to uncover injustice as the mighty wield power over the vulnerable and defenceless. The Argus seem to actually believe that in this case that description is fitting for a couple of guys and ladies in rain macs outside an abortion mill, rather than the huge 'charity' making loads of cash out of killing unborn babies at the taxpayer's expense. The clinic itself, according to The Argus, re-opened in 2008 following a £2 million refurbishment. Gosh. The BPAS aren't short of a bob or two are they? That must have been quite some re-opening day. A real treat for all the family. The Argus reported the fact that this new refurbishment meant that the clinic could perform over 1,500 abortions a year as if this was somehow something for Brightonians to celebrate.

Welcome to the culture clash of 21st century Brighton. Welcome to the culture clash of 21st century Britain. Welcome to the sickening neutralisation of the Fourth Estate and our local newspaper which has been co-opted by the powerful abortion lobby of the BPAS and their very wealthy and very influential supporters.

Clearly, in modern Britain, with all the cruelty and barbarity of the modern age, there is really only one thing worth protesting about at The Argus. And that is, yep, you guess it... pensions and pay. Tell you what: The day I see The Argus siding with the weak, the innocent, the poor, the defenceless, the downcast, the outcasts, the cruelly and unjustly treated and oppressed of this World, and against the powerful, the rich and the big businesses that make money out of despicable injustice in the city of Brighton and Hove, then I'll stand up for these shoddy excuses for journalists and their pensions and their pay. That day seems a long, long way off. The ironic thing is that inside paper in the centre spread 'investigation' piece is a weekend magazine with Joan Baez, the famous 60s protest singer, on the front. I don't know what Joan thinks of abortion. I think though, that this song, could be dedicated to the innocent unborn babes who we pray and hope reign in Heaven with Christ forever and forever young.



Still, if or when the Council create a bye-law decreeing that you can't loiter with information outside an abortion clinic, at least the new law on 'approaching people', causing people 'distress' and 'haranguing people' will mean I can walk down the street in peace without getting approached by someone wanting my debit card details for their obscure rainforest charity and, unlike pro-lifers, not taking the word 'No' for an answer. Maybe politicans and their workers will stop coming to my door asking me to vote for them as well. Hope springs eternal...