Yeti spotted in Rome!

Captured on film, the Yeti takes to
the woods after a Swiss Guard
shouted "Mennini" to scare him off

Firm proof that the Yeti (aka Bigfoot) exists and is thriving comes from Rome where reports indicate this prehistoric creature has been spotted in St Peter's and various Vatican offices during the daylight hours.

There are also night time sightings where the Yeti's towering, bulky figure has been seen flitting in and out of various soirees around the City, a glass of brown sherry clutched in his hairy paw.

This shy and retiring creature, sighted, in the past in the region of Bulinga Fen, has not been seen since 2005 and many scientists have speculated that it was extinct.

Rumours have it that it has been tempted out of the deep cover of Bulinga Fen by offerings of felt banners and voluminous dayglo polyester vestments.

Now it appears as if the Yeti is undergoing a revival with one famous evolutionist actually giving the creature the scientific name, Cormacus Solanum Oconnorii.

Some who have been ardent believers in the existence of the Yeti are hoping that zoologists will shortly be able to produce a basic Yeti speech structure so that one and all may, at last, be able to understand the strange waffling noises that emanate from the creature from time to time.

The Swiss Guard have been put on red alert and trained to deter the Yeti by shouting short phrases and words at it.

These include:

"Mennini"

"Pope Emeritus"

Or, to really cause immense anguish, "Summorum Pontificum"

March with Our Lady in London October 8th

The annual Rosary Crusade of Reparation march will take place in London on Saturday October 8th.
It is a heartening and deeply spiritual experience to walk through the City's streets, singing hymns and reciting the Rosary and affirming one's Catholic faith.

Motorists stuck in the traffic will look at you as if they would like to see you re-routed via Tyburn Tree, but, no matter. They will only be delayed by a few minutes, say a prayer in response to their glaring looks.

The march leaves Westminster Cathedral at c. 1.45pm and heads off to the London Oratory where Mass and Benediction are normally offered.

And this year the march will be led by none other than the
 Rt Reverend Monsignor Keith Newton, Protonotary Apostolic and Ordinary of the Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham.

So, dust off your zimmer frames and get cracking!

St John Baptist de La Salle - please come to the aid of the Vaughan

And, indeed, please also come to the aid of His Grace, Archbishop Nichols and help him to successfully oversee the appointment of a new headteacher for The Cardinal Vaughan Memorial School.

St John Baptist de La Salle is generally regarded as the main patron of teachers and this coming Thursday, 15th September, the Vaughan Parents and their supporters will gather in the Piazza outside Westminster Cathedral at 7pm for a Vigil of Prayer.

The 'Father of Modern Education'

The last couple of years have not been happy ones for the Vaughan, or, for that matter, Westminster Diocese although the issues that have arisen have been a result of the Diocese riding roughshod over the wishes and the rights of parents and Governors of the school. Much of that will now change thanks to intervention from the House of Lords but......the issue hanging over the school now is to appoint a new headteacher. Someone who can ably resume the role played by Michael Gormally, the recently retired head.

It is not easy recruiting headteachers. It is even harder to find a good one. Heads these days have to both know the teaching elements back to front as well as manage people (staff, pupils, parents - and Archbishops) and manage what is, in effect, a major multi-faceted organisation.

The new Head will need to be able to assume the role without interference from the Diocese - I have no doubt that there will be interference but his/her role is to manage the school on behalf of the Board, staff and parents; and it is the Head who must have the freedom to act on their own initiative and take risks - a successful school is also a risk taking business. It cannot be successful if the Head is constantly looking over his/her shoulder to see if the Nazguls of the Diocesan Education Department are on the march.

I hope that the Diocesan authorities will realise that a strong headteacher will be both good for the school and good for the Archbishop.

The advertisment for the new head appears on 16th September so, if you are free,
join the Vaughan Parents on the 15th at 7pm - Westminster Cathedral Piazza.

And if you can't make it in person, then please light a candle for a successful appointment.

"Could do better" - Vaughan School Chairman's letter leaves much to be desired

This is really Damian Thompson's story and it is so rich that all I shall do is direct you to Holy Smoke so that you may read it first hand.


But......if you would care to lend a prayer of support to the Vaughan in their battle for freedom from draconian powers, please join them on Saturday morning 11th June on the Piazza at Westminster Cathedral, to assist them in completing their novena...I will let you have a time as soon as possible.

IT'S 11.30AM - CAN YOU SPARE HALF AN HOUR? OR, MAYBE, SAY THE ROSARY FOR THE CAUSE, WHEREVER YOU ARE!

AT LAST! THE GUILD OF BLESSED TITUS!

I think that, by now, I must be the last of the bloggers present at Westminster Cathedral's meeting last Saturday to make a comment. I think it's called measured and studied, some might say that I'm just slow!

More women bloggers definitely needed!

Well it was a great experience and an amazing event. Many thanks to
 A Reluctant Sinner who chaired the meeting both well and informally and thanks also, to all who attended and were so generous in their welcome and support for a novice such as moi.
Immediately, all previous fears that I may have had were allayed; all present appeared sane and normal, not a fourth former, nerd or outbreak of acne amongst the lot of them. Instead I was treated to a couple of hours of wit and erudition; Paul Priest's knowledge of Canon Law, Laurence England's ready humour and journalistic skills and the rest of them in similar vein. A bonus was the presence of an Anglican in the throes of crossing the Tiber, who had much to offer and the massive presence of Fr Samuel Medley of
 Medley Minute. My only regret to the day was that I did not have time to join the session in the pub afterwards.

My observations regarding the guild are as follows; I think it a pity that it cannot be called The Guild of Catholic Bloggers (due to some approval being needed to use the word Catholic). However, the chosen patron saint seems to be a good choice and, if it's called after him, sobeit.

The aims of the guild as outlined and hammered out at the meeting are simple and straightforward; membership will be open to all Catholics who are loyal to the Magisterium and all posts submitted must conform to the bounds of Christian charity. In other words, the posts will not be inflammatory but will be profound and informative.
The guild will not be sexist in any way and be open to both female and male bloggers, no membership fees will be involved (to the great relief of bloggers from Cardigan and Scotland).

The name of the guild is likely to be 'The Guild of Bl Titus Brandsma' but I think that I prefer one of the earlier options. 'Salt of the Earth' was one mentioned but my vote would go to a quote (so I believe) from one of Pope Benedict's encyclicals, Verbum Domini when he states: "You are not alone"
That speaks volumes for me.
Because the Guild will not be linked to any Bishop and because of its avowed intention of posting charitably, it is hoped that our priest bloggers, who are a great inspiration, will join the ranks.

Meetings to be held about twice a year and an EF Mass celebrated on our behalf.

Maybe, in time, a daily Guild prayer - we shall see.

What is so evident is the fact that this is not going to be an internet exercise; it's going to involve real people and real issues; offical contacts may be only twice a year but in between there is nothing to stop Guild members meeting up for the occasional blognic!

You can always judge the integrity of an organisation by its loos!

My rather large family has, over many years, employed a quality assessment standard for pubs, restaurants, shops and, in fact, any organisation that allows members of the public access to its premises.
We believe, not unreasonably, that the level of cleanliness offered by the lavatories reflects on the efficiency and professionalism of the organisation. In fact, some of us even go so far as to grade such 'facilities' so that, upon arriving at a pub for a drink, someone might pop to the loo and return saying: "It's only a grade 3 I don't think we'll eat here". A quite sensible scheme I believe.

Let me now take you to Westminster Cathedral in London's Victoria. I arrived early last Saturday for the Guild of Catholic Bloggers meeting and was able to spend twenty minutes 'cooling off'' in the Holy Souls Chapel. Then, as the time for the meeting approached I made my way to the back where an information stand is located. Asking for the location of the nearest loos I was directed, via the Baptistry, to the Cafe in the basement (a strange world exists here, it was like being transported to another planet!) Entering the loos (which had all sorts of odd signs stating that, if queues for the loos extended out into the cafe area you were liable for instant excommunication, I found myself in a cubicle that was slightly more narrow than my body (no rude comments please). Furthermore, I had to execute a complicated manoeuvre (I think they call it a half veronica in bullfighting circles) which involved me limboing past the wash basin that protruded into the cubicle. I will spare the more sensitive among you any further detail except to say that, as one approached the pedestal, so the hand dryer machine on the wall unnervingly burst into action.
To a lesser mortal this would have been the final blow (literally) but I had a strong resolve and a weak bladder!

A closer inspection of this torture chamber revealed a large amount of dirt and grease in the corners, obviously, judging by the depth of aforesaid grime, it had been there some considerable time.

As a judge of some standing of such venues I can unequivocally award Archbishop Nichols a stunning deux points for this apology of a lavatory.
What it may say about Westminster Diocese, I leave to your own imagination!

Please note: No photographs were used in this post in the interests of mass hysteria and fainting avoidance

That's another reason why I have no respect for the CofE!

I have just seen a few minutes footage of a BBC programme called The Antiques Roadshow. It is a sort of up market television valuation house for odd bits and pieces of porcelain or furniture,  that have lain neglected in the attic for eons and are now, hopefully, in the eyes of the owner, are worth a few thousand quid.

It's Christ's house, not Christies!

It's all innocent stuff, mildly entertaining and usually, innocuous. However, tonight I was jolted from my post supper reverie by the commentator explaining that the show was coming from Winchester Cathedral. Sure enough, the valuation experts were lined up along the wall on their individual display stands in what is a beautiful Cathedral and what was once a Catholic Church where bread and wine was transformed several times daily into the Body and Blood of Christ.
How dare the Church of England in all its crass ignorance, use such a beautiful and holy place for such mean and mercenary aims.
The crowds milled aimlessly around, ignoring the fact that they were milling in the longest nave in Britain or is that Europe? Anyway, it's very long and should not be used for such mundane purposes.

It reminded me of an incident in Westminster Cathedral when the late Cardinal Hume had put into motion the brilliant idea (groan) of holding a flower festival in the central nave, a very Anglican thing to do for a start.
A late friend and stout Catholic, Stella Hook happened to visit when all was fuss and chrysanthemums and she stood, appalled at the carpet of flower petals strewn along the nave. Just then she realised that the man next to her was no other than the late Cardinal (then still very much alive), turned to him and said:
"You've turned the House of God into a florist's shop!"
She never recorded the Cardinal's reply.

Arundel Cathedral - another "florist's shop"

Guild of Catholic Bloggers a nightmare?

Over the past few days I have been caught up in the fever of the moment, a Guild for Catholic Bloggers, how great! and many thanks to
A Reluctant Sinner and Jane Mossendew and Mulier Fortis for giving it some reality and focus.
But, in my subconscious I have been aware of a nagging doubt, this talk of all Catholic Bloggers being young.....yes, dammit, young!
It conjures up a vision of trendy, suntanned dudes who only drink alcohol through a straw and accompanied by paper umbrellas. Who wear the latest style in sunglasses and who lounge around the Piazza outside Westminster Cathedral chatting to each other in Latin. This image must have played on my mind because last night I suffered a nightmare of horrific proportions.
There I was on 7th May strolling along Morpeth Terrace and arriving at the portal of the Hinsley Room. Giving the doors a casual kick open I am met with  a sea of faces, all wearing hornrimmed specs a la Harry Potter and clutching laptops and iphones and other bits of techno gadgetry. They are tucking into their lunchboxes prepared by their Mummies and the room is a sea of acne. Sort of Fourth Form comes to Westminster!

Across the hall a banner is draped stating: "Entry barred to any blogger over the age of fourteen and three quarters." Turning blindly I stumble out of the room tripping over baby buggies en route.
"Get me out of here" I scream and then, I wake up.

When I regain my composure I begin to hatch a cunning plan. I shall go in disguise. Yes indeed, a pair of aviator sunglasses, one or two items of clothing gleaned from the Bodens catalogue and a baseball cap that I can wear with the peak pointing backwards. That's pretty cool (you see I am picking up the lingo and getting into the swing of things, mood acting and all that).
I will sashay casually up to the Hinsley Room muttering a few Latin bon mots and wiping my shoes with a copy of The Tablet (bound to win me friends).
Throwing open the doors I will enter as one of the gang. Not a head will turn in my direction, I am "in"- At last I am in with the young crowd!
I just hope that no one spots my zimmer frame.



The May 7th Welcoming Committee?

 'Et futue te ipsum!

The Cardinal to go?

It's a cardinal sin to lose this sign!

It looks like the battle to save a name change for the Cardinal Pub close to Westminster Cathedral has been fought and lost. Rumour has it that the name will change to The Windsor Castle. Thanks to A Reluctant Sinner who first flagged up the story.

Well we can draw some comfort from the fact that we have two Cardinals who bear distinguished if slightly alcoholic names, Cardinal Ricard and Cardinal Martini! The former is quite sweet but the latter is rather dry!