I've been asked by someone from the Catholic Herald if I would like an interview. Bizarre! I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact my parish priest offered the Most Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for my intentions yesterday. Hoping against hope that I was just about to be rescued from financial ruin by someone other than my ever-forgiving parents, I assumed it was an offer of a job interview, rather than an interview with me for the paper itself, because, aside from updating a blog along with a veritable army of other Catholic lay bloggers, being a book-keeper for St Mary Magdalen's Church and a rather shambolic amateur busker in Brighton, I'm really not much of a story...Hmm...this Polish beer is nice. I could get used to this!
Anyway, I digress. What I enjoy about blogging is that I can preach the Gospel, rather than my Gospel. I can defend the Church, rather than my Church. I can proclaim the Faith rather than discuss my Catholic faith. I say that not because I believe in any other Gospel than the one proclaimed by Holy Mother Church, but because it appears that all that public Catholics seem to want do is discuss 'my Catholic faith' rather than the Catholic Faith, cough, Cherie Blair, cough. What I enjoy about being a layman is that I can do so with perhaps more freedom than one who has entered the Church. This means that I can cause offense without having to, say, worry about what some Bishops might think, say, if some of them were not preaching the Gospel of Christ or defending the Deposit of Faith given to the One True Church.
That, I think, is why I feel uncomfortable with the idea of an interview. If someone actually asked the question, "So Laurence, tell us about yourself," then I would really struggle. Don't get me wrong. I do have a 'story', but then don't we all. Mine revolves around broken relationships, homosexuality, the search for true meaning, suffering, God's unconditional love for me and all our brothers and sisters, gay or straight or indeed, whatever colours of the rainbow you feel called upon to mention and the Christian vision of true happiness to be found in selfless service in the vocation of...Well, I'm still searching.
I just got off the phone with my Polish girlfriend. I've come so far in the devout love of God that I managed to forget her birthday even though she texted me to warn me it was her birthday the very day before. Clearly, I was so rapt in ecstatic prayer that I forgot about it entirely. It isn't because I'm a self-centred fantasist at all, no...I don't know what she sees in me. I'm broke, bent, unemployed and right now, not even maintaining my personal hygeine. While it is true to say that I'm so in deep into the closet that I'm convinced I have found Narnia, I do fall in love with ladies. She is such an adorable creature. Secretly, I'm hoping it is God's will that we marry and have 25 children in reparation for the contracepting couples throughout Our Lady's Dowry and we live happily ever after in a cottage some place. I don't think God has found out that's what I am secretly hoping for yet. Other than my Eternal Salvation, I'm not quite sure what God is hoping for with regard to me.
You see what happens if you start talking about the intricate and complex details of your life in public? Mayhem! That is why, ultimately, when we are called upon to bear witness to Christ and His Church, it is God that should be glorified and exalted, rather than ourselves. We must preach the Gospel, 'in season and out of season'.
I had some quite moving comments on a recent post regarding the issue of homosexuality. Holy Mother Church in Her teaching does not exclude anyone from Her membership. She teaches that we exclude ourselves from the Banquet of the Lord when we fall into mortal sin. God is still calling men and women with complicated lives, objective moral disorders, messy pasts, difficult presents and insecure futures, broken reeds into the One True Faith.
If Holy Mother Church altered any teaching on the issue of homosexuality then She would be lying. If she said that the condition of homosexuality was not an 'objective moral disorder' then She would be lying. If She said the act of homosexuality was not a sin, She would be lying. I and others I know understand well the pain and shame of discovering that your sexuality is not what you had thought it was. It is heartbreaking and many do take their lives because of it very tragically. Not only that but as Archbishop Vincent Nichols said in his interview with Channel 4 on the very issue, it is not a matter of "success" with regard to the daily struggle in overcoming our sins. It is Grace. It was the Grace of God that called us into Baptism. It is the Grace of God that calls us to the Sacrament of Penance. It is the Grace of God that permits us to receive Our Blessed Lord in the Eucharist and ultimately, with regard to our temptations and trials it is a case of there by the Grace of God go I. God does not deal with us according to our sins. He deals with us with great and tender mercy.
Holy Mother Church proclaims Salvation to all. In union with the Holy Father, the Bishops and Priests and the Religioius Brothers and Sisters, we Laity are called upon to pray and bear witness to the truth that God is Compassion and Love and to proclaim the Gospel firmly and with charity always. At St Mary Magdalen's many people, myself included do not necessarily 'fit' the mould. Many of us are living complicated lives and there are many people with 'issues'. This is Brighton, after all. I don't know, maybe we've just got a good and kindly parish priest, but all we are ever given at St Mary Magdalen's is the Gospel of Christ. Deep down, the Gospel of Christ and yes, to know that God is Love, is all that every person wants, whatever his or her sexuality may be.
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