Avatar

Yes, I've finally seen James Cameron's Avatar (2009). I'm about the last person on Earth to have seen it, so I won't be saying anything new. It's worth watching for the impressive, gob-smacking special effects, but has little else to recommend it.

In 2154, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is sent on a special mission to the planet Pandora. The planet is chock full of the precious mineral Unobtainium (blech), and corporate head Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi) has no qualms about using Marines led by Colonel Quartrich (Stephen Lang) to slaughter the peaceful natives, the blue, humanoid Na'vi. Along with scientist Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver), Sully incorporates his body into an "avatar" of the Na'vi, ostensibly to study them and gain their trust, and becomes enraptured by the gorgeous world of Pandora and its peaceful inhabitants - not the least of which is gorgeous Princess Neytiri (Zoe Saldana). Sully is torn between his mission and his new friends, ultimately siding with the Na'vi as Quartrich's Marines show up for some good old-fashioned genocide.

Avatar is pure style over substance, a "cinema of attractions" for the 21st Century. Cameron and the WETA people have created a gobsmacking spectacle, constructing a gorgeous, engrossing world full of floating mountains, weird yet strangely familiar animals, flourescent plant life, and the Na'vi (hereafter referred to as Blue Kitties). CGI has never been more convincing here, and the film has a lot of genuine wonder, scope and beauty. The huge final battle is generally well-staged and thrilling, although it's ultimately undercut by the resolution. Aside from James Horner's disappointingly banal score, there's little to complain about on a technical score.

It must be said, however, that only so much pleasure can be had from sheer spectacle. The effects give the impression of fireworks; once the initial sense of wonder wears off, you get more and more effects thrown at you, until it gives you a headache. This has already been amply proven with the Star Wars prequels and Pirates of the Caribbean, but Cameron felt compelled to teach us this lesson again. If there were some substance to complement the images, this might not be a problem - but as we'll see, monotonous beauty is the least of the film's problems.

As for the 3-D? Although occasionally impressive, it didn't significantly impact the film. I will admit to slipping off the glasses on occasion, and when the 3-D rendering didn't ruin the image, it looked just as good. Not to mention that the effects only work under special circumstances. When we're watching flying horse creatures, spinning flourescent frogs and spirit dandelions, it's pretty cool; it's less impressive when Giovanni Ribisi hits a golf ball into a three-dimensional coffee cup. For me, 3-D remains an indifferent gimmick, but clearly most critics and viewers would disagree.

Storywise, Avatar has little going for it. It's a recycling of the old White Guilt fantasy of a Liberal Soldier defecting to a race of Noble Savages against their Imperial Oppressors (banging a hot Native chick in the process). It put me most in mind of was Delmer Daves' Broken Arrow (1950), which had Indian Agent James Stewart coming to respect noble Apache Chief Cochise, marrying an Apache princess, and then defending them against white gun-runners. The sense of wonder initially instilled by Pandora eventually becomes wrapped up in bullshit pantheism. Thrown in for good measure are some obnoxiously obvious Iraq War parallels - the phrases "pre-emptive strike", "shock and awe", "fight(ing) terror with terror" and something about "Daisy cutters" are rattled off in two minutes' time. The finale is particularly insipid; not content for a downbeat (or vaguely non-conventional) ending, Cameron throws in an atrocious, mind-blowing deus ex machina which damn near ruins the film on its own.

Sam Worthington (Terminator 4) is adequate but little more as Jake Sully; the role requires little beyond being wowed by Pandora's wonders and being conflicted by his role in its conquest. The supporting cast fares better, with Sigourney Weaver wonderfully feisty, Michelle Rodriguez less annoying than usual, and Stephen Lang and Giovanni Ribisi (both of Public Enemies) doing well with their one-dimensional villain roles. Zoe Saldana (Star Trek), CCH Pounder (The Shield) and Wes Studi (The Last of the Mohicans) make the most of their roles, which isn't much; it's hell being a Noble Savage.

What more can be said about Blue Kitties In Space? Today I read the entire of George MacDonald Fraser's Royal Flash in the same amount of time it took me to watch Avatar. You should be able to guess which 150 minutes was better-spent. Yes, the special effects are nice, but why harness all that time, energy and money for a third-rate Dances With Wolves retread?