I'm in the Pub

I, Laurence, a poor sinner, write as your man in Brighton and urge you, in the name of Christ Jesus, to celebrate St Catherine of Siena's Feast Day by feasting as the Church commands, by drinking some Guinness, smoking some fags and playing some chess, as I am doing.

I write this because I'm the third man in this chess tournament and am therefore redundant, receiving not the attention which my soul, steeped in the unruly and ruinous sin of Pride, feels it deserves. Or, I could just be bored as the game is moving at a snail's pace.

I have spotted a computer in the corner of the pub which is free to use and so, in the name of Christ Jesus, I have used it so that you may know of my whereabouts for no reason whatsoever, save for the vague and fleeting enrichment of your internet reading and my personal entertainment for just five brief minutes.

May news of this evenings conduct edify all readers and encourage them in the celebration of the Feast of St Catherine of Siena, who, were she a Brightonian, would have come here too, probably before she devoted herself wholly to God.

The music, too is edifying, as 'Mother's Little Helper' by Rolling Stones just played on the PA. The pizzas are nice here and the staff supply both chilli oil and garlic oil for those who wish to anoint their pizzas before consuming them to the punters great delight.

May God bless this pub and all who enter herein, as apparently it is managed by a Catholic and gives all its profits to charity, from which charitable endeavours, its name originates.