Friday, December 3, 2010

It's a Recession and You're Snowed in: What Else Is There to Do But...

Cracklets...the answer for your Church Building Fund?
...make cracklets!

Simply melt 1 ounce of margarine/butter in a pan, add 2 tablespoons each of icing sugar and coco powder, add 2 tablespoons of golden syrup, mix up until melted, add cornflakes, mix up and put a spoon of it in loads of baking cases. Leave it to cool, put in frilly cups and hey presto, you've got your cracklets!*

Then, you're ready to stand outside selling them as Christmas approaches for 35p each. Flood the market and soon Brighton won't know what has hit it. Believe me, these things are highly addictive. Even hardcore drug dealers will soon be left without clients and your Church building fund dreams are back on track. It's either this or holding Fr Ray Blake hostage. "Give us £5,000, no, no actually make that £10,000 now or the Priest gets it and we don't want that do we? And yes, naturally, I do want a helicopter out of here. Just, please, please avoid the spire..."

Cracklets are not to be confused with crepes (pancakes), craps (casino game) or crack (an addictive class-A drug). Even if all three could bring potential revenue into your Church, they are in no way advisable.

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