Miss Ragazzagallese has posted on how she was hassled by some chap at Sunday Mass who insisted on inflicting the 'kiss of peace' upon her.
I know this young lady and she is the epitome of courtesy and so, after a few attempts to gain her attention, she reluctantly shook the persistent chap's paw.
I am not so polite (although the situation rarely arises these days as I only ever go to an OF Mass if someone has died).
And on those occasions I refuse all offers, nudges and throats being cleared as various members of the congregation climb over the pews to get at me, and stick my nose in my missal and keep my right hand firmly in my pocket.
But, eureka! I have the solution.
For less than five pounds you may purchase online, a hairy 'glove' hand.
The trick is to keep your right hand (hairy version) behind your back until approached and then you firmly grasp the offered hand and pump it up and down vigorously.
If my theory is correct, the handshaker should swoon or run screaming from the church.
I wonder if it would work with Bishops?
I know this young lady and she is the epitome of courtesy and so, after a few attempts to gain her attention, she reluctantly shook the persistent chap's paw.
I am not so polite (although the situation rarely arises these days as I only ever go to an OF Mass if someone has died).
And on those occasions I refuse all offers, nudges and throats being cleared as various members of the congregation climb over the pews to get at me, and stick my nose in my missal and keep my right hand firmly in my pocket.
But, eureka! I have the solution.
For less than five pounds you may purchase online, a hairy 'glove' hand.
 |
| "Peace be with you - the defibrillator is in the porch" |
The trick is to keep your right hand (hairy version) behind your back until approached and then you firmly grasp the offered hand and pump it up and down vigorously.
If my theory is correct, the handshaker should swoon or run screaming from the church.
I wonder if it would work with Bishops?
No comments:
Post a Comment