It's that time of year! Just 12 days until Christmas, and Groggy plans to celebrate in inimitable fashion. Expect reviews of at least a few Christmas-themed movies in the coming weeks. Nothing focuses a blog more than an arbitrary theme!
Last year I experimented with Best and Worst lists for both movies and books. Considering the blog's topic, the movie list is a given. I'll give the book side of things some thought (have read a lot this past year; categories and ratings require more effort), and throw in a TV-related piece if time allows.
Expect the lists, anyway, after the New Year. Despite what internet list makers tend to think, a year ends on December 31st, not before.
Showing posts with label Best and Worst. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Best and Worst. Show all posts
Friday, December 13, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
Best & Worst Super Bowl Ads of 2013: A Rant
Like all sentient Americans I watched Super Bowl XLVII last night. Who doesn't love watching football while gorging on assorted greasy snacks? It was three quarters of lousy football capped by an exciting fourth, which beats most Super Bowls. Suffice it to say that I hate the Baltimore Ravens, but since they didn't beat a team I care about I'm not depressed.
Apparently Beyonce provided a great halftime show. Not that I'd know: halftime is when I do something productive, like take a shower or fold towels. Heck, last year's show had M.I.A. flipping the bird and I still didn't watch. To quote Ahnold, "I'm da pahtee poopah!"
Yes, there was a power outage during the third quarter. It was annoying. The news covering it like the next 9/11 is more annoying.
At least as many people watch the Super Bowl for the commercials as the game. Here's where Groggy proves himself a right cynical bastard. I hate most of these ads, and this year was no different. Lots of time, effort and millions of dollars into 30 seconds of ludicrous, overblown idiocy. I've seen Adult Swim programs more appealing than most of these ads.
In the interest of fairness though, I'll do a Best and Worst list. There were a few spots that didn't make me want to hurl a brick at my TV, which deserves some recognition. Just know I relish the latter far more.
Best Ads:
10. Leon Sandcastle (NFL Network)
Good old Deion Sanders. An insufferably obnoxious player; a surprisingly likeable, self-effacing TV personality. Between this and his DirecTV fairy ads, I've forgiven Deion for his Primetime antics.
9. Morning Run (Milk)
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson doing what he does best: being funny, self-effacing and badass in a silly context. This sort of humor works better at a minute than 90 minutes though.
8. Prom (Audi)
This ad doesn't necessarily make me want to buy this car. It does make me want to travel back to high school and French kiss my not-so-secret crush at prom. Too bad she's hiding out somewhere in New England...
7. Asking Amy (Best Buy)
Amy Poehler is a funny lady. That's why this commercial works: it's short, simple, funny and makes good use of a celebrity spokesperson. Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen blathering nonsensically for 90 seconds isn't and doesn't.
6. Team (Hyundai)
This ad starts predictably (a kid is told to "get your own team" by football-playing bullies) then takes a clever turn. No, the kid doesn't assembles a team of conveniently-visiting NFL stars. He gets a juvenile bear wrestler as his placekicker. Bonus points for using Quiet Riot.
5. Happier Than Dikembe Mutombo... (GEICO)
If there were a lifetime achievement award for stupid commercials, GEICO would win for its endless barrage of irritable cavemen, cockney lizards and jabbering swine. So I'm happily surprised they managed a funny spot. See Coke, this is how you do a Super Bowl ad: a simple gag (Mutombo swatting a box of Cap'n Crunch) well-executed. But we're getting ahead of ourselves...
4. Soul (Mercedes-Benz)
Willem Dafoe plays Satan. He could be shilling for Go Daddy and still earn a spot.
3. Love Ballad (M&M's)
M&M's ads have gone a bizarre route the past few years, hinting at sexual relations between humans and chocolates. Now we see the logical conclusion: Red M&M finds out his girlfriend's greatest wish is to eat him! While singing Meat Loaf, no less.
2. Brotherhood (Budweiser)
Give Budweiser credit: their Clydesdale ads are always winners. This touching spot is no exception. Sure it's treacle, but it's well-done treacle. Don't tell me you aren't tearing up at the end
1. Miracle Stain (Tide)
This one's got it all: a clever premise, Super Bowl tie-in, recognizable product and funny payoff. One caveat: while many treat football as a religion, comparatively few worship the 49ers.
Worst Ads:
Now for the fun part. Don't like my choices? Complain in the comments section.
10. Viva Young (Taco Bell)
Two objections: one, Taco Bell's entire demographic is 30 and under, so why the senior focus? Two, most 20 year olds with cast-iron colons can't keep Taco Bell food down for 15 minutes. Pity these poor seniors gulping Taco Supremes.
Strangely, this seems to be one of the most popular ads. Are old people that hilarious?
9. Wonderful Pistachios Get Cracking (Emerald Nuts)
Signs an obnoxiously over-hyped "music sensation" has reached their sell-by date: 1) Glee covers their song. 2) They star in an Emerald Nuts commercial. An MTV reality series can't be far behind for PSY.
8. Party (Pepsi Next)
I lost 30 pounds last year and Pepsi Next was a big part of that. That's my way of saying Pepsi Next is awesome. This lazy, stupid ad is not.
7. Get In, Get Happy (Volkswagen)
This asinine spot generated unwarranted controversy for "insulting" Jamaicans. The real problem is stupidity. Whether you're from Kingston or Massapequa, no one talks like Bob Marley unless they're baked. If that be the case, kiss your job goodbye, mon! Worse, I didn't even remember what was being sold - the sure sign of a bad ad.
6. Fashionista Daddy (Doritos)
Admittedly, I had trouble finding laughs in transvestites playing with little girls right after watching The Damned. Regardless, men wearing frilly things has long since supplanted the pun as comedy's nadir. Witness ABC's Work It. Witness this ad. To quote Bobby Hill, "Cross-dressing's been done." Apparently Doritos didn't get the memo.
5. Save It (E-Trade)
The e-Trade babies aren't funny, period. They weren't funny in 2008, they aren't funny now. Come to think of it, CGI-lipped talking babies weren't funny in Baby Geniuses or Baby Bob, either. It's never funny. It's creepy. Stop for the love of God.
4. Space Babies (Kia)
More babies, plus cute animals, wrapped in higher-grade CGI than Prometheus and a nonsensical premise dreamed up on a millionaire's bar napkin. Another popular ad, though this one's more explicable: everyone's had "the talk" with their kids. And everyone loves astronaut babies and thumbs-upping panda cubs. Everyone except Groggy, who hates overpaid ad execs trying too hard.
Of course, I actually drive a Kia. The last thing I'm thinking about while skidding around the snow-encrusted back roads of Pennsylvania is space penguins on a baby planet.
Speaking of astronauts...
3. Lifeguard (Axe Apollo)
Note the warning that this is a "fictionalization." So there wasn't really a lifeguard who gill-punched a shark, rescued a beach babe and then got cock-blocked by a nerd wearing Buzz Aldrin duds? Damn, thanks for shattering my illusions Axe!
P.S.: This is a deodorant ad. Please explain how I'm supposed to know that.
2. Perfect Match (Go Daddy)
What sort of troglodytic horn dog does Go Daddy market to, exactly? Their entire campaign is a slobbering monument to the kind of male chauvinism that went out with bell bottoms. As a male, I'm offended by the notion that I'm only interested in scantily-clad women. As a nerd, I'm offended by the notion that smart equals fat and ugly. As a functioning human being, what the hell is this garbage? Here's hoping a mob of angry feminists burns down their corporate headquarters.
1. Mirage (Coca-Cola)
This commercial epitomizes everything wrong with Super Bowl ads: pointlessly contrived, needlessly expensive and profoundly unfunny. I can just imagine Coke's ad department brainstorming this:
This plays out exactly like it sounds: a jumble of bizarre, nonsensical ideas spewed forth Katyusha-style in hopes of triggering a laugh and rampant Coke buying. My reaction?
Look, Coca-Cola could run 30 seconds of polar bears crapping without denting their market share. You don't need to put this much effort into being stupid, guys. And that goes for all of you.
Apparently Beyonce provided a great halftime show. Not that I'd know: halftime is when I do something productive, like take a shower or fold towels. Heck, last year's show had M.I.A. flipping the bird and I still didn't watch. To quote Ahnold, "I'm da pahtee poopah!"
Yes, there was a power outage during the third quarter. It was annoying. The news covering it like the next 9/11 is more annoying.
At least as many people watch the Super Bowl for the commercials as the game. Here's where Groggy proves himself a right cynical bastard. I hate most of these ads, and this year was no different. Lots of time, effort and millions of dollars into 30 seconds of ludicrous, overblown idiocy. I've seen Adult Swim programs more appealing than most of these ads.
In the interest of fairness though, I'll do a Best and Worst list. There were a few spots that didn't make me want to hurl a brick at my TV, which deserves some recognition. Just know I relish the latter far more.
Best Ads:
10. Leon Sandcastle (NFL Network)
Good old Deion Sanders. An insufferably obnoxious player; a surprisingly likeable, self-effacing TV personality. Between this and his DirecTV fairy ads, I've forgiven Deion for his Primetime antics.
9. Morning Run (Milk)
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson doing what he does best: being funny, self-effacing and badass in a silly context. This sort of humor works better at a minute than 90 minutes though.
8. Prom (Audi)
This ad doesn't necessarily make me want to buy this car. It does make me want to travel back to high school and French kiss my not-so-secret crush at prom. Too bad she's hiding out somewhere in New England...
7. Asking Amy (Best Buy)
Amy Poehler is a funny lady. That's why this commercial works: it's short, simple, funny and makes good use of a celebrity spokesperson. Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen blathering nonsensically for 90 seconds isn't and doesn't.
6. Team (Hyundai)
This ad starts predictably (a kid is told to "get your own team" by football-playing bullies) then takes a clever turn. No, the kid doesn't assembles a team of conveniently-visiting NFL stars. He gets a juvenile bear wrestler as his placekicker. Bonus points for using Quiet Riot.
5. Happier Than Dikembe Mutombo... (GEICO)
If there were a lifetime achievement award for stupid commercials, GEICO would win for its endless barrage of irritable cavemen, cockney lizards and jabbering swine. So I'm happily surprised they managed a funny spot. See Coke, this is how you do a Super Bowl ad: a simple gag (Mutombo swatting a box of Cap'n Crunch) well-executed. But we're getting ahead of ourselves...
4. Soul (Mercedes-Benz)
Willem Dafoe plays Satan. He could be shilling for Go Daddy and still earn a spot.
3. Love Ballad (M&M's)
M&M's ads have gone a bizarre route the past few years, hinting at sexual relations between humans and chocolates. Now we see the logical conclusion: Red M&M finds out his girlfriend's greatest wish is to eat him! While singing Meat Loaf, no less.
2. Brotherhood (Budweiser)
Give Budweiser credit: their Clydesdale ads are always winners. This touching spot is no exception. Sure it's treacle, but it's well-done treacle. Don't tell me you aren't tearing up at the end
1. Miracle Stain (Tide)
This one's got it all: a clever premise, Super Bowl tie-in, recognizable product and funny payoff. One caveat: while many treat football as a religion, comparatively few worship the 49ers.
Worst Ads:
Now for the fun part. Don't like my choices? Complain in the comments section.
10. Viva Young (Taco Bell)
Two objections: one, Taco Bell's entire demographic is 30 and under, so why the senior focus? Two, most 20 year olds with cast-iron colons can't keep Taco Bell food down for 15 minutes. Pity these poor seniors gulping Taco Supremes.
Strangely, this seems to be one of the most popular ads. Are old people that hilarious?
9. Wonderful Pistachios Get Cracking (Emerald Nuts)
Signs an obnoxiously over-hyped "music sensation" has reached their sell-by date: 1) Glee covers their song. 2) They star in an Emerald Nuts commercial. An MTV reality series can't be far behind for PSY.
8. Party (Pepsi Next)
I lost 30 pounds last year and Pepsi Next was a big part of that. That's my way of saying Pepsi Next is awesome. This lazy, stupid ad is not.
7. Get In, Get Happy (Volkswagen)
This asinine spot generated unwarranted controversy for "insulting" Jamaicans. The real problem is stupidity. Whether you're from Kingston or Massapequa, no one talks like Bob Marley unless they're baked. If that be the case, kiss your job goodbye, mon! Worse, I didn't even remember what was being sold - the sure sign of a bad ad.
6. Fashionista Daddy (Doritos)
Admittedly, I had trouble finding laughs in transvestites playing with little girls right after watching The Damned. Regardless, men wearing frilly things has long since supplanted the pun as comedy's nadir. Witness ABC's Work It. Witness this ad. To quote Bobby Hill, "Cross-dressing's been done." Apparently Doritos didn't get the memo.
5. Save It (E-Trade)
The e-Trade babies aren't funny, period. They weren't funny in 2008, they aren't funny now. Come to think of it, CGI-lipped talking babies weren't funny in Baby Geniuses or Baby Bob, either. It's never funny. It's creepy. Stop for the love of God.
4. Space Babies (Kia)
More babies, plus cute animals, wrapped in higher-grade CGI than Prometheus and a nonsensical premise dreamed up on a millionaire's bar napkin. Another popular ad, though this one's more explicable: everyone's had "the talk" with their kids. And everyone loves astronaut babies and thumbs-upping panda cubs. Everyone except Groggy, who hates overpaid ad execs trying too hard.
Of course, I actually drive a Kia. The last thing I'm thinking about while skidding around the snow-encrusted back roads of Pennsylvania is space penguins on a baby planet.
Speaking of astronauts...
3. Lifeguard (Axe Apollo)
Note the warning that this is a "fictionalization." So there wasn't really a lifeguard who gill-punched a shark, rescued a beach babe and then got cock-blocked by a nerd wearing Buzz Aldrin duds? Damn, thanks for shattering my illusions Axe!
P.S.: This is a deodorant ad. Please explain how I'm supposed to know that.
2. Perfect Match (Go Daddy)
What sort of troglodytic horn dog does Go Daddy market to, exactly? Their entire campaign is a slobbering monument to the kind of male chauvinism that went out with bell bottoms. As a male, I'm offended by the notion that I'm only interested in scantily-clad women. As a nerd, I'm offended by the notion that smart equals fat and ugly. As a functioning human being, what the hell is this garbage? Here's hoping a mob of angry feminists burns down their corporate headquarters.
1. Mirage (Coca-Cola)
This commercial epitomizes everything wrong with Super Bowl ads: pointlessly contrived, needlessly expensive and profoundly unfunny. I can just imagine Coke's ad department brainstorming this:
"Okay, we need a Super Bowl ad. Ideas, guys? Bob, you watched Mad Max last week right? Tina, you wanted to be a Rockette when you were little, so here's showgirls driving a bus. Groggy, you won't shut up about T.E. Lawrence, so here's an Arab with a camel. Cowboys, those are popular right? How about they're racing each other? How wacky! And it will only cost enough to feed Zimbabwe for a year!
"Um, guys? Where are you going? Why are you all printing your resumes?"
This plays out exactly like it sounds: a jumble of bizarre, nonsensical ideas spewed forth Katyusha-style in hopes of triggering a laugh and rampant Coke buying. My reaction?
Look, Coca-Cola could run 30 seconds of polar bears crapping without denting their market share. You don't need to put this much effort into being stupid, guys. And that goes for all of you.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Best & Worst Film Viewings of 2012
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| "Hey Groggy, your Best & Worst list is a week late!" |
With fewer films, my movie habits naturally became less varied. While I unearthed a few obscure gems, you'll note few foreign language movies and only a handful of theatrical releases. Still, I hope there's enough variety to keep your attention. Certainly some choices will be controversial, though Groggy's never shied away from pissing people off.
With one exception, I restrict both lists to first-time viewings only.
Best Viewings of 2012:
10. The Avengers (2012, Joss Whedon)
I expected The Avengers to be a cynical, jerry-rigged blockbuster. Okay, in outline form it is: four Marvel superheroes (plus two "normal" sidekicks) team up to battle an alien menace. But Joss Whedon transcends blockbuster expectations with a witty screenplay and sharp characterization. The stars play off each other marvelously, and even the requisite CGI bombast proves exciting. It's the best superhero film in ages, easily topping the convoluted Dark Knight Rises and lame-o Spider-Man reboot.
9. Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975, Peter Weir)
Peter Weir's eerie think piece registered much stronger on a re-watch. It's undeniably a frustrating film, from its thinly-sketched characters to its elliptical storyline with its unresolved conclusion. But the unique aesthetics, from the ethereal photography and dreamy score to Weir's indescribable frisson of supernatural menace, are indescribably seductive.
8. That Hamilton Woman (1941, Alexander Korda)
Winston Churchill's favorite movie remains a top-notch melodrama. Alexander Korda perfectly couches the doomed romance of Admiral Nelson and Lady Hamilton within the Napoleonic Wars, crafting each angle with due respect. Laurence Olivier and Vivien Leigh parlay their real-life marriage into one of cinema's most glamorous couples.
7. Serpico (1973, Sidney Lumet)
Sidney Lumet could earn four spots on this list: Dog Day Afternoon, Equus and The Pawnbroker are all superb. I chose Serpico for its mix of righteous anger and rich characterization. Al Pacino is an eccentric cop who loves ballet and dresses like a hippie, yet proves the straightest arrow in a hopelessly corrupt NYPD. You'll be rooting for him even in a seemingly-lost cause.
6. Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971, John Schlesinger)
John Schlesinger's low-key character study is among his best work. Beyond its straightforward portrayal of a bisexual love triangle, Sunday succeeds as a slice of life drama, helped by a trio of marvelous stars: Peter Finch, Glenda Jackson and Murray Head. It's that most pleasant cinematic surprise: no action, little directorial flash, just a well-told, engrossing story.
5. Westward the Women (1951, William Wellman)
William Wellman's distaff Western is an oater unlike any other. Its gritty, straightforward narrative resembles Wellman's war picture Battleground, depicting a wagon party's westward passage as an attritional battle against the elements, Indians and each other. It scores points, too, for its mostly female cast, with Denise Darcel, Hope Emerson and Julie Bishop (among others) proving hardy, unglamorous frontier gals.
4. Victim (1961, Basil Dearden)
Basil Dearden's social drama was genuinely groundbreaking. Dirk Bogarde plays a closeted barrister forced to confront his sexuality when an ex-lover commits suicide - and when he's targeted by blackmailers. Dearden couches its heart-wrenching message (homosexuality was then illegal in the UK) within a thrilling detective story. With lots of class actors, moody photography and complex plotting, Victim holds up far better than any Stanley Kramer film.
3. Mountains of the Moon (1990, Bob Rafaelson)
A wonderfully unique historical epic, chronicling Sir Richard Burton and John Hanning Speke's harrowing exploration of the Nile. Bob Rafaelson provides expected genre thrills, with exciting action, culture shock and ravishing vistas worthy of David Lean. But Mountains works best as a psychodrama, with Patrick Bergen and Iain Glenn brilliantly mismatched as two explorers whose friendship sours into tragic rivalry.
2. A Matter of Life and Death (1946, Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger)
A Matter of Life and Death might be The Archers' best work. This marvelously inventive fantasy, contrasting a dour, monochrome Heaven with a verdant, Technicolor England, rates high on technical merits alone. But it's the warmhearted humanism, from a charming cast (David Niven, Kim Hunter, Marius Goring, Roger Livesley) to the simple message of universal love, that makes Powell & Pressburger's achievement so special.
1. Lincoln (2012, Steven Spielberg)
Steven Spielberg's best "serious" film. Far from a stolid biopic, Lincoln is a sophisticated political drama mixing wry humor, sharp characterizations (thanks Tommy Lee Jones and James Spader!) and refreshing historical insight. At its center is Daniel Day-Lewis, giving a phenomenal portrayal of our greatest, yet least-understood President. This movie deserves every award coming its way.
Honorable mentions: Anatomy of a Murder, Captain Blood, Dog Day Afternoon, Elizabeth I, The Lady Vanishes (1938), Midnight Cowboy, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, Quiz Show, The Small Back Room, The Taking of Pelham 123 (1974)
Worst Viewings of 2012
I watched some abominable crap this year, yet some bad movies are just ordinarily bad. Where's the fun in picking on Leprechaun Back 2 Tha Hood or Grizzly? No, we'll go after films that are offensively, audaciously bad, egregiously rubbing their failings in your face.
10. Orca (1977, Michael Anderson)
This whale of a flop earns a spot for its laughably outsized ambition. Grizzly at least knows it's a chintzy Jaws knock-off. Producer Dino De Laurentiis seriously thought he could top Steven Spielberg's fish tale. Not with weeping orca eyes, bloody whale fetuses and cetaceans blowing up an entire town he can't. All that plus Richard Harris at his hammiest! Yet it's not the worst post-Jaws creature feature on this list...
9. Scorpio (1973, Michael Winner)
How on Earth is a spy movie starring Burt Lancaster, Alain Delon and Paul Scofield boring? For a start, it's directed by uber-hack Michael Winner. Then there's a story long on cliches and short on suspense. Finally, populate that with nonsensical action and characters without discernible motivation. Paul Scofield emerges unscathed because, well, he's Paul Scofield. Lancaster and Delon aren't so lucky.
8. Farewell to the King (1989, John Milius)
Whatever cheese he's produced, John Milius forever earns a pass for The Wind and the Lion. Yet even the Raisuli couldn't save Farewell to the King, which plays like Lord Jim re-envisioned by a 14 year old. Besides shamelessly cribbing from Lawrence of Arabia and penning laughably overwrought dialogue (LEOROYD AM I!!!!), Milius encourages Nick Nolte to engulf scenery like a famished Gary Busey. No wonder Nigel Havers and James Fox seem like they'd rather be in another movie - any other movie.
7. The Ides of March (2011, George Clooney)
George Clooney relates the astounding message that American politics is corrupt and soul-destroying. This will shock viewers who haven't turned on a TV in the past two years. Everyone else will be bored stiff by the cliched story, flat characters and complete lack of drama. Politics has never been so dull.
6. Batman Forever (1995, Joel Schumacher)
Say what you will about Batman & Robin: that misbegotten monstrosity has the camp factor of Batnipples and Arnold Schwarzenegger instructing us to "always winterize your pipes!" It's a cool party indeed compared to Batman Forever, a bafflingly serious mess which mixes the mis-en-scene of video poker with the commercial savvy of a Happy Meal. You know something's wrong when Jim Carey is much, much less annoying than Tommy Lee Jones.
5. The Four Feathers (2002, Shekhar Kapur)
The 1939 Four Feathers is an all-time great adventure movie, still enjoyable for its thrilling battle scenes and glorious Technicolor. Shekhar Kapur's revisionist take is Exhibit A of why people hate remakes. A.E.W. Mason's tale of colonial derringdo becomes a stentorian P.C. whine fest, featuring Heath Ledger as a simpering git who wanders aimlessly into the Sudanese desert and achieves nothing. Two hours cleaning the litter box would be better spent.
4. Hanna (2011, Joe Wright)
Joe Wright deviates from soporific, Keira Knightley-starring literary adaptations with this over-baked mess. A film featuring a pubescent girl assassin could be entertaining, if Saorise Ronan showed a hint of emotion and Wright weren't spinning the camera like an overloaded dryer. On the plus side, there is Cate Blanchett's hilarious Peggy Hill impression! Thankfully, with Anna Karenina Wright's returned to movies that can be safely slept through.
3. Prophecy (1979, John Frankenheimer)
Talk about misplaced priorities. A mutant bear movie should be scary right? Too bad John Frankenheimer spends most of this interminable film lecturing us about environmentalism, corporate greed, Indian rights, urban squalor and abortion, boring us to tears long before the monster shows up. Then this happens:
Ouch.
2. Anonymous (2011, Roland Emmerich)
A Tudor film from the director of Independence Day ought to have raised alarm bells. Besides butchering history beyond recognition (Shakespeare's plays were penned by an incestuous nobleman), it trades cohesive storytelling for a lurid, nonsensical conspiracy plot that makes Oliver Stone seem cogent. And no Mr. Day After Tomorrow, swooping CGI camera angles and pointless flashbacks don't make you an auteur.
1. American Beauty (1999, Sam Mendes)
After 9/11, three Middle Eastern wars and economic collapse, late '90s angst films (Fight Club, Magnolia) now seem like narcissistic whining. Sam Mendes's American Beauty with its Best Picture Oscar takes the cake. Ostensibly a satire of middle class America, its intellectual onanism proves insufferable. What's more offensive: celebrating loathsome creeps as embodiments of personal expression; pedophilia postulated as sexual awakening; or an empty paper bag framed as profundity? Either this movie's aged terribly or was never good in the first place. It's definitely infuriating garbage.
* * *
Thanks to my loyal readers for another year of great blogging! New reviews coming soon.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Best & Worst Books Read in 2012
This year Groggy looks at his best and worst 2012 reads. Usually I post these lists on Facebook, since this is after all a film blog. But glitches in Facebook's Note system deleted at least one of my previous lists, so this seemed a safer alternative.
Despite having a full-time job (and hence next to nil free time) I still managed over 100 books this year. Sure, many of them were re-reads, which is why you won't see any Flashman books on this list. And yeah, a handful of Goosebumps books pad out the list. So it's not like I'm reading Crime & Punishment 100 times. Still it's enough for a list.
Anyway, without further adieu:
Best Ten Books Read in 2012:
Groggy reads 99% percent history and other nonfiction these days. Back in college of course there was more time and hence more variety of subjects; now I have to be pickier. Nonetheless, even within this narrow confine I found a lot of worthwhile books this year, a few classics and a few recent volumes.
10. Gertrude Bell: Queen of the Desert, Shaper of Nations - Georgina Howell
Gertrude Bell is a truly remarkable woman: Alpine adventurer, explorer, archaeologist, Arabist, intelligence operative, Middle East Kingmaker. Howell's sprawling biography does her justice. The book explores Bell's myriad talents, unique, vivacious personality, her personal frustrations and public achievements. Its main success, perhaps, comes in illumniating an incredible personage shamefully overlooked.
9. Dark Continent: Europe's Twentieth Century - Mark Mazower
Mazower's provocative book eschews traditional 20th Century narratives for barbed analysis of European politics. His sociopolitical dissection points up uncomfortable facts: the differences between Nazism and "old right" Fascism, appeal of totalitarian movements to interwar Europeans, Stalin's remarkable economic achievements coupled with political oppression, Thatcherism's inherent unworkability, the USSR as Europe's last traditional empire. Mazower's chapters on Nazi imperialism and internationalist idealism presage more recent volumes. The European Union has proven more successful than Mazower suggests, but the book remains a remarkable volume.
8. Bloom County: The Complete Collection, Vols. 1-2 - Berke Breathed
Berkeley Breathed's brilliant '80s satirical comic strip, part Doonesbury and part Calvin & Hobbes, now comes in beautifully-packaged compilations, complete with Breathed's commentary. True, many jokes are very dated: who remembers James Watt or Joan Jett? But Breathed's playful art, lovable characters and colorful sense of humor remain timeless.
7. The White Nile - Alan Moorehead
Aussie author Moorehead was a brilliant narrative historian, mixing colorful prose with a warm human touch. Moorehead chronicles European exploration and exploitation of the Nile, the 19th Century's greatest frontier. His subjects are a diverse lot: the contentious Richard Burton and John Hanning Speke, the glamorous adventure couple Stanley and Florence Baker, Henry Stanley and Dr. Livingstone, the messianic Mahdi, the enigmatic Gordon of Khartoum. Moorehead ties them splendidly together, crafting a vivid, compulsively readable epic. His complementary volume The Blue Nile is a bit sloppier but also highly recommended.
6. A Line in the Sand: The Anglo-French Struggle for the Middle East, 1914-1948 - James Barr
Much has been written about Britain and France's conniving to divide the post-WWI Middle East. Less often told is the resultant imperial rivalry. In this fascinating chronicle, Barr analyzes the fissures in the Anglo-French alliance, as the two powers jealously jockeyed for power, influence and oil. Both powers used regional nationalism, be they post-war Arab movements or the rising tide of Zionism, to undermine each other, with disastrous results. Barr's account is lucid, eye-opening and compellingly written.
5. The October Country - Ray Bradbury
The literary world lost a giant with the passing of Ray Bradbury. This story collection is one of his best, here leaning towards overt horror. Some of Bradbury's scariest stories are here: the killer baby of "The Small Assassin," the pitiless fate of "The Scythe," the shocking image which concludes "Skeleton." For Bradbury fans whose tastes skew darker, this is invaluable.
4. The Fiery Trial: Abraham Lincoln and American Slavery - Eric Foner
Foner delivers an invaluable account of Abraham Lincoln's views on race. In Foner's view, Lincoln underwent a painful personal evolution, from a "moderate" Whig accepting white supremacy while restricting slavery's spread, to an abolitionist advocating resettlement of freed blacks, to a full-throated advocate for equality. Honest Abe comes off as extremely flawed but admirable, seeking to sublimate his prejudices to the greater good. Foner treats Lincoln with admirable delicacy, avoiding modern value judgments to show a statesman both very much of his time, yet undeniably revolutionary.
3. The Siege: The Full Horrifying Account of the Kut Disaster - Russell Braddon
Braddon's account of the Siege of Kut bests even Woodham-Smith's The Reason Why as a study in military failure. Braddon seethes with anger at this masterpiece of mismanagement, when arrogant British generals sent 6th Division to do an army's job, underestimating logistics and numerically-superior Turkish opponents. At book's center is Charles Townshend, a self-proclaimed genius who launched a disastrous campaign against impossible odds, trapped his division in a disease-ridden village, panicked his superiors into ill-advised rescue attempts and enjoyed a cushy captivity while his men endured forced labor. True, it's not objective: Braddon makes his contempt for Townshend plain, and his own POW experiences color his empathy for the soldiers' plight. Faced with a craven villain like Townshend though, who could blame him?
2. The Destruction of Lord Raglan: A Tragedy of the Crimean War, 1854-1855 - Christopher Hibbert
For readers unwilling to slog through Kinglake's nine-volume history, this is the best popular account of the Crimean War. Hibbert gives a brilliant grunt's-eye view of the conflict, mixing blow-by-blow battle accounts with the terrifying monotony of life in the trenches. His main point, that Lord Raglan's been unfairly smeared from 1855 onwards, is highly debatable; Raglan still comes off as a decent man with no business leading an army. Contextualizing his performance amidst bureaucratic muddle, poor weather and a military completely unprepared for a major war makes it more understandable, and Raglan himself sympathetic.
1. Empire of Liberty: A History of the Early Republic, 1789-1815 - Gordon S. Wood
Wood's entry in the Oxford History of the United States never fails to impress. It's a truly remarkable tome, overwhelming the reader in its sheer breadth and depth. Wood touches on every conceivable topic - the rise of evangelical religion, women and minority roles, attitudes on slavery, the contrast between America's high ideas and low culture - with skill and sensitivity. He couples these microhistories with shrewd analyses of the Federalist-Republican split, Hamilton's financial system, the Revolution's international impact and the Republic's hesitant early foreign policy. A masterpiece.
Honorable mentions: Glory Road (Catton), The Arab Awakening (Antonius), Quartered Safe out Here (Fraser), (Kabaservice), The Great Anglo-Boer War (Farwell), Founding Brothers (Ellis), The Fierce Pawns (Macrory), Rule & Ruin: The Downfall of Moderation and the Destruction of the Republican Party (Kabaservice)
Worst Ten Books Read in 2012:
I also found time for some truly wretched works. Their sins range from sublimating history to a political agenda, to tackling an impossible subject, to intellectual laziness and sloppy construction, to just plain bad writing. And yes, there's an R.L. Stine book included.
10. Chitral Charlie: The Rise and Fall of Major General Charles Townshend - N.S. Nash
This biography sets about the thankless task of rehabilitating Townshend, the antagonist of Kut. Soldier-turned-journalist Nash tries his hardest to be fair, approaching his subject with brusque humor and inside knowledge of armed forces social climbing. For all Nash's pleading, Townshend still comes off as an arrogant twit who needlessly sacrificed his men in pursuit of selfish glory. Not a bad book, just a fatally misguided one.
9. The Crimean War: A Reappraisal - Philip Warner
After reading some really great Crimean War histories this year - not only Hibbert but Orlando Figes' The Crimean War - it was inevitable I'd find a bad one. Warner presents interesting arguments that our understanding of the Crimea is flawed, and that it was really a success and credit to the Anglo-French-Turkish alliance. Unfortunately they're couched in a dull, dry, meandering book that becomes too saturated in details to see the big picture. When a 200 page book takes four months to read, it probably hasn't succeeded.
8. Three Empires on the Nile: The Victorian Jihad, 1869-1899 - Dominic Green
One of the pitfalls of narrative history is it forsakes analysis for storytelling. Woe then to the historian who can't tell a story. Green ties together several related topics - the collapse of Khedivist Egypt, Urabi Pasha's nationalist coup d'etat, the Mahdist Wars. Unfortunately he presents each story in spectacularly superficial and uninteresting fashion, providing zero insight into this epochal clash of imperialism, Islamism and nationalism. Attempts to equate the Mahdists with al-Qaeda do its author no credit, either. With so much ink spilled over the Mahdi already you're well-advised skipping this one.
7. Military Blunders: The How and Why of Military Failure - Saul David
There are some things you don't expect from a book written in 1997 and reprinted in 2012. For instance, the author referring to Russians as "Asiatics of low intelligence." Or repeating the canard that Singapore fell to Japanese troops because all its guns faced the sea. Or confusing Matthew Ridgeway with Maxwell Taylor. Even the accurate bits are just regurgitation of Geoffrey Regan's work - pretty damning in and of itself, considering Regan's been recycling himself for years. A shame as I enjoyed David's biography of Lord Cardigan.
6. Kingmakers: The Invention of the Modern Middle East - Karl E. Meyer & Shareen Blair Brysac
Ostensibly a look at how British and American policymakers shaped the last 150 years of Middle Eastern politics. In reality it's a scatter-shot, meandering collection of biographical essays, some scarcely connected to the topic. Fiona Shaw and Lord Lugard are interesting figures but how on Earth do they relate? Last time I checked South Africa wasn't part of the Middle East. A longish chapter on the CIA in Beirut rambles without divulging any points-of-interest. Chapters on T.E. Lawrence, Gertrude Bell and Paul Wolfowitz border on superficial. The book's only interesting in the margins, and the margins aren't worth it when most of these figures have biographies of their own.
5. Planet of the Lawn Gnomes - R.L. Stine
Picking on Goosebumps books, especially the new Horrorland series, is like shooting fish in a barrel. But childhood nostalgia compels me to read them, so here we are. Glance at the title and spend about 30 seconds shaping a story around it. You've given it more thought than R.L. Stine did.
4. The Meinertzhagen Mystery: The Life and Legend of a Colossal Fraud - Brian Garfield
Novelist Garfield vindictively destroys Richard Meinertzhagen, one of England's most eccentric heroes of the 20th Century. He's admittedly convincing in spots, deflating some of Meinerzhagen's more egregious anecdotes (the "Heil Meinertzhagen" silliness) and showing him an ornithological fraud (an argument made before). But Garfield goes beyond into extreme nuttiness, for instance hinting with Glenn Beck-ish "just asking questions" delicacy that Meinertzhagen murdered his wife. It's a tiresome screed, bloody-minded in its willingness to promote any nonsense that reflects negatively on its subject.
3. American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us - Jesse Ventura
This semi-literate rant, courtesy of America's favorite wrestler-turned-politician, is more funny than offensive. While reading, I couldn't help remembering Ventura's appearance as a Man in Black (with Alex Trebek!) on The X-Files. "Mr. Ventura, your scientific illiteracy makes me SHUDDER!"
2. The Politically Incorrect Guide to the British Empire - H.W. Crocker III
The PIG Guides never cease to amaze with their vacuous demagoguery. Groggy readers know I'm an unrepentant Anglophile, but even I blanch at Crocker's high Victorian jingoism. Given the plethora of recent pro-empire books by Niall Ferguson, Lawrence James and Saul David its premise of an intellectual conspiracy to slander Britain is dubious to begin with. But Crocker's reactionary racial and political attitudes - calling the Irish "shiftless, ignorant, stubborn, contumacious and cruel," deeming the Maori genocides "fun with muskets," claiming the Opium Wars a "defense of free trade" - are shocking in a book published last year. All wrapped in a smug, self-satisfyingly contrarian attitude that reflexively deems dissenters part of a liberal-Marxist-Muslim conspiracy to hide the truth. Charming.
1. The Real Lincoln: A New Look at Abraham Lincoln, His Agenda and an Unnecessary War - Thomas DiLorenzo
This mendacious piece of garbage makes the PIG Guide look like Sir John Fortescue. Not only does it slander America's greatest President to promote an extremist neo-libertarian agenda; that would be obnoxious enough. But it's painfully obvious that DiLorenzo is a hack who can't even keep his propaganda straight. He arrogates states the right to secede and repudiate the Constitution, then chastises Lincoln for claiming seceded states outside Constitutional protection. He claims that Lincoln ignored chances for "peaceful abolition" when the South rejected precisely that. Or selective facts: He cites Andrew Jackson as a guru of small government, ignoring how Jackson overrode the Supreme Court re: expelling the Five Civilized Tribes, or his decidedly Unionist reaction to the Nullification Crisis. Or brazen lies, like saying the Emancipation Proclamation didn't free a single slave. Or paranoid rants about the "Marxist" Lincoln cult. The result? A book that commits every conceivable sin: it's poorly argued, ideologically slanted, inaccurate and painfully unreadable.
An equivalent film-related list will come in the next week. There are still some year-end theatrical releases to catch so stay tuned!
Despite having a full-time job (and hence next to nil free time) I still managed over 100 books this year. Sure, many of them were re-reads, which is why you won't see any Flashman books on this list. And yeah, a handful of Goosebumps books pad out the list. So it's not like I'm reading Crime & Punishment 100 times. Still it's enough for a list.
Anyway, without further adieu:
Best Ten Books Read in 2012:
Groggy reads 99% percent history and other nonfiction these days. Back in college of course there was more time and hence more variety of subjects; now I have to be pickier. Nonetheless, even within this narrow confine I found a lot of worthwhile books this year, a few classics and a few recent volumes.
10. Gertrude Bell: Queen of the Desert, Shaper of Nations - Georgina Howell
Gertrude Bell is a truly remarkable woman: Alpine adventurer, explorer, archaeologist, Arabist, intelligence operative, Middle East Kingmaker. Howell's sprawling biography does her justice. The book explores Bell's myriad talents, unique, vivacious personality, her personal frustrations and public achievements. Its main success, perhaps, comes in illumniating an incredible personage shamefully overlooked.
9. Dark Continent: Europe's Twentieth Century - Mark Mazower
Mazower's provocative book eschews traditional 20th Century narratives for barbed analysis of European politics. His sociopolitical dissection points up uncomfortable facts: the differences between Nazism and "old right" Fascism, appeal of totalitarian movements to interwar Europeans, Stalin's remarkable economic achievements coupled with political oppression, Thatcherism's inherent unworkability, the USSR as Europe's last traditional empire. Mazower's chapters on Nazi imperialism and internationalist idealism presage more recent volumes. The European Union has proven more successful than Mazower suggests, but the book remains a remarkable volume.
8. Bloom County: The Complete Collection, Vols. 1-2 - Berke Breathed
Berkeley Breathed's brilliant '80s satirical comic strip, part Doonesbury and part Calvin & Hobbes, now comes in beautifully-packaged compilations, complete with Breathed's commentary. True, many jokes are very dated: who remembers James Watt or Joan Jett? But Breathed's playful art, lovable characters and colorful sense of humor remain timeless.
7. The White Nile - Alan Moorehead
Aussie author Moorehead was a brilliant narrative historian, mixing colorful prose with a warm human touch. Moorehead chronicles European exploration and exploitation of the Nile, the 19th Century's greatest frontier. His subjects are a diverse lot: the contentious Richard Burton and John Hanning Speke, the glamorous adventure couple Stanley and Florence Baker, Henry Stanley and Dr. Livingstone, the messianic Mahdi, the enigmatic Gordon of Khartoum. Moorehead ties them splendidly together, crafting a vivid, compulsively readable epic. His complementary volume The Blue Nile is a bit sloppier but also highly recommended.
6. A Line in the Sand: The Anglo-French Struggle for the Middle East, 1914-1948 - James Barr
Much has been written about Britain and France's conniving to divide the post-WWI Middle East. Less often told is the resultant imperial rivalry. In this fascinating chronicle, Barr analyzes the fissures in the Anglo-French alliance, as the two powers jealously jockeyed for power, influence and oil. Both powers used regional nationalism, be they post-war Arab movements or the rising tide of Zionism, to undermine each other, with disastrous results. Barr's account is lucid, eye-opening and compellingly written.
5. The October Country - Ray Bradbury
The literary world lost a giant with the passing of Ray Bradbury. This story collection is one of his best, here leaning towards overt horror. Some of Bradbury's scariest stories are here: the killer baby of "The Small Assassin," the pitiless fate of "The Scythe," the shocking image which concludes "Skeleton." For Bradbury fans whose tastes skew darker, this is invaluable.
4. The Fiery Trial: Abraham Lincoln and American Slavery - Eric Foner
Foner delivers an invaluable account of Abraham Lincoln's views on race. In Foner's view, Lincoln underwent a painful personal evolution, from a "moderate" Whig accepting white supremacy while restricting slavery's spread, to an abolitionist advocating resettlement of freed blacks, to a full-throated advocate for equality. Honest Abe comes off as extremely flawed but admirable, seeking to sublimate his prejudices to the greater good. Foner treats Lincoln with admirable delicacy, avoiding modern value judgments to show a statesman both very much of his time, yet undeniably revolutionary.
3. The Siege: The Full Horrifying Account of the Kut Disaster - Russell Braddon
Braddon's account of the Siege of Kut bests even Woodham-Smith's The Reason Why as a study in military failure. Braddon seethes with anger at this masterpiece of mismanagement, when arrogant British generals sent 6th Division to do an army's job, underestimating logistics and numerically-superior Turkish opponents. At book's center is Charles Townshend, a self-proclaimed genius who launched a disastrous campaign against impossible odds, trapped his division in a disease-ridden village, panicked his superiors into ill-advised rescue attempts and enjoyed a cushy captivity while his men endured forced labor. True, it's not objective: Braddon makes his contempt for Townshend plain, and his own POW experiences color his empathy for the soldiers' plight. Faced with a craven villain like Townshend though, who could blame him?
2. The Destruction of Lord Raglan: A Tragedy of the Crimean War, 1854-1855 - Christopher Hibbert
For readers unwilling to slog through Kinglake's nine-volume history, this is the best popular account of the Crimean War. Hibbert gives a brilliant grunt's-eye view of the conflict, mixing blow-by-blow battle accounts with the terrifying monotony of life in the trenches. His main point, that Lord Raglan's been unfairly smeared from 1855 onwards, is highly debatable; Raglan still comes off as a decent man with no business leading an army. Contextualizing his performance amidst bureaucratic muddle, poor weather and a military completely unprepared for a major war makes it more understandable, and Raglan himself sympathetic.
1. Empire of Liberty: A History of the Early Republic, 1789-1815 - Gordon S. Wood
Wood's entry in the Oxford History of the United States never fails to impress. It's a truly remarkable tome, overwhelming the reader in its sheer breadth and depth. Wood touches on every conceivable topic - the rise of evangelical religion, women and minority roles, attitudes on slavery, the contrast between America's high ideas and low culture - with skill and sensitivity. He couples these microhistories with shrewd analyses of the Federalist-Republican split, Hamilton's financial system, the Revolution's international impact and the Republic's hesitant early foreign policy. A masterpiece.
Honorable mentions: Glory Road (Catton), The Arab Awakening (Antonius), Quartered Safe out Here (Fraser), (Kabaservice), The Great Anglo-Boer War (Farwell), Founding Brothers (Ellis), The Fierce Pawns (Macrory), Rule & Ruin: The Downfall of Moderation and the Destruction of the Republican Party (Kabaservice)
Worst Ten Books Read in 2012:
I also found time for some truly wretched works. Their sins range from sublimating history to a political agenda, to tackling an impossible subject, to intellectual laziness and sloppy construction, to just plain bad writing. And yes, there's an R.L. Stine book included.
10. Chitral Charlie: The Rise and Fall of Major General Charles Townshend - N.S. Nash
This biography sets about the thankless task of rehabilitating Townshend, the antagonist of Kut. Soldier-turned-journalist Nash tries his hardest to be fair, approaching his subject with brusque humor and inside knowledge of armed forces social climbing. For all Nash's pleading, Townshend still comes off as an arrogant twit who needlessly sacrificed his men in pursuit of selfish glory. Not a bad book, just a fatally misguided one.
9. The Crimean War: A Reappraisal - Philip Warner
After reading some really great Crimean War histories this year - not only Hibbert but Orlando Figes' The Crimean War - it was inevitable I'd find a bad one. Warner presents interesting arguments that our understanding of the Crimea is flawed, and that it was really a success and credit to the Anglo-French-Turkish alliance. Unfortunately they're couched in a dull, dry, meandering book that becomes too saturated in details to see the big picture. When a 200 page book takes four months to read, it probably hasn't succeeded.
8. Three Empires on the Nile: The Victorian Jihad, 1869-1899 - Dominic Green
One of the pitfalls of narrative history is it forsakes analysis for storytelling. Woe then to the historian who can't tell a story. Green ties together several related topics - the collapse of Khedivist Egypt, Urabi Pasha's nationalist coup d'etat, the Mahdist Wars. Unfortunately he presents each story in spectacularly superficial and uninteresting fashion, providing zero insight into this epochal clash of imperialism, Islamism and nationalism. Attempts to equate the Mahdists with al-Qaeda do its author no credit, either. With so much ink spilled over the Mahdi already you're well-advised skipping this one.
7. Military Blunders: The How and Why of Military Failure - Saul David
There are some things you don't expect from a book written in 1997 and reprinted in 2012. For instance, the author referring to Russians as "Asiatics of low intelligence." Or repeating the canard that Singapore fell to Japanese troops because all its guns faced the sea. Or confusing Matthew Ridgeway with Maxwell Taylor. Even the accurate bits are just regurgitation of Geoffrey Regan's work - pretty damning in and of itself, considering Regan's been recycling himself for years. A shame as I enjoyed David's biography of Lord Cardigan.
6. Kingmakers: The Invention of the Modern Middle East - Karl E. Meyer & Shareen Blair Brysac
Ostensibly a look at how British and American policymakers shaped the last 150 years of Middle Eastern politics. In reality it's a scatter-shot, meandering collection of biographical essays, some scarcely connected to the topic. Fiona Shaw and Lord Lugard are interesting figures but how on Earth do they relate? Last time I checked South Africa wasn't part of the Middle East. A longish chapter on the CIA in Beirut rambles without divulging any points-of-interest. Chapters on T.E. Lawrence, Gertrude Bell and Paul Wolfowitz border on superficial. The book's only interesting in the margins, and the margins aren't worth it when most of these figures have biographies of their own.
5. Planet of the Lawn Gnomes - R.L. Stine
Picking on Goosebumps books, especially the new Horrorland series, is like shooting fish in a barrel. But childhood nostalgia compels me to read them, so here we are. Glance at the title and spend about 30 seconds shaping a story around it. You've given it more thought than R.L. Stine did.
4. The Meinertzhagen Mystery: The Life and Legend of a Colossal Fraud - Brian Garfield
Novelist Garfield vindictively destroys Richard Meinertzhagen, one of England's most eccentric heroes of the 20th Century. He's admittedly convincing in spots, deflating some of Meinerzhagen's more egregious anecdotes (the "Heil Meinertzhagen" silliness) and showing him an ornithological fraud (an argument made before). But Garfield goes beyond into extreme nuttiness, for instance hinting with Glenn Beck-ish "just asking questions" delicacy that Meinertzhagen murdered his wife. It's a tiresome screed, bloody-minded in its willingness to promote any nonsense that reflects negatively on its subject.
3. American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us - Jesse Ventura
This semi-literate rant, courtesy of America's favorite wrestler-turned-politician, is more funny than offensive. While reading, I couldn't help remembering Ventura's appearance as a Man in Black (with Alex Trebek!) on The X-Files. "Mr. Ventura, your scientific illiteracy makes me SHUDDER!"
2. The Politically Incorrect Guide to the British Empire - H.W. Crocker III
The PIG Guides never cease to amaze with their vacuous demagoguery. Groggy readers know I'm an unrepentant Anglophile, but even I blanch at Crocker's high Victorian jingoism. Given the plethora of recent pro-empire books by Niall Ferguson, Lawrence James and Saul David its premise of an intellectual conspiracy to slander Britain is dubious to begin with. But Crocker's reactionary racial and political attitudes - calling the Irish "shiftless, ignorant, stubborn, contumacious and cruel," deeming the Maori genocides "fun with muskets," claiming the Opium Wars a "defense of free trade" - are shocking in a book published last year. All wrapped in a smug, self-satisfyingly contrarian attitude that reflexively deems dissenters part of a liberal-Marxist-Muslim conspiracy to hide the truth. Charming.
1. The Real Lincoln: A New Look at Abraham Lincoln, His Agenda and an Unnecessary War - Thomas DiLorenzo
This mendacious piece of garbage makes the PIG Guide look like Sir John Fortescue. Not only does it slander America's greatest President to promote an extremist neo-libertarian agenda; that would be obnoxious enough. But it's painfully obvious that DiLorenzo is a hack who can't even keep his propaganda straight. He arrogates states the right to secede and repudiate the Constitution, then chastises Lincoln for claiming seceded states outside Constitutional protection. He claims that Lincoln ignored chances for "peaceful abolition" when the South rejected precisely that. Or selective facts: He cites Andrew Jackson as a guru of small government, ignoring how Jackson overrode the Supreme Court re: expelling the Five Civilized Tribes, or his decidedly Unionist reaction to the Nullification Crisis. Or brazen lies, like saying the Emancipation Proclamation didn't free a single slave. Or paranoid rants about the "Marxist" Lincoln cult. The result? A book that commits every conceivable sin: it's poorly argued, ideologically slanted, inaccurate and painfully unreadable.
An equivalent film-related list will come in the next week. There are still some year-end theatrical releases to catch so stay tuned!
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