"What a snip at just £9.6 million pounds. I like it! I mean this is the kind of thing that could really liven up the front room. No, it doesn't go with the curtains. No, the bathroom. Ouch, no, that would really awaken those childhood 'Jaws' fears of the Great White coming out of the plug hole. Okay, the bedroom, yes, perfect! Oh no, hang on, do I really want to wake up to that every day? God that thing could give me nightmares no end! Okay the dining room. Oh, but it might put me off my food. Tell, you what, lets put it in the garage for a while and just be content and smug that its famous and I own it and its mine! All mine! Mua-hah-hah!"
Modern art doesn't make me angry. I mean, give the guy credit, he thought of it first. I suppose the really annoying thing about Damien Hirst's fish/mammals in formaldehyde in tanks lark is that very little of the creation is actually his. In truth, if you're going to put one of God's most fearsome and ferocious creations into a tank of liquid which sustains it mid-tank, you really can't claim that you made it at all. God made the shark, so He should get a cut of the £9.6 million Damien made from God's glorious and intimidating design. If he would like to give the Church a cut, St Mary Magdalen's Building Fund needs plenty of cash to restore the roof.
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