His Girl Friday

I had a rough week, psychologically speaking, and didn't watch any films of particular note. Here then is my IMDB review of Howard Hawks' His Girl Friday, already discussed in my list of favorite comedies.

Walter Burns (Cary Grant) is a smooth (and fast)-talking, amoral newspaper reporter who will do literally anything for a story. Hildy Johnson (Rosalind Russell) is Walter's snappy ex-wife, who is threatening to retire from the newspaper business and settle down with Bruce Baldwin (Ralph Bellamy), a well-meaning, mild-mannered sap. Walter's quest to prevent Hildy from leaving the paper reaches ridiculous extremes, as death row inmate Earl Williams (John Qualen) breaks out of prison. As the police hunt Williams, Walter draws Hildy back into the business - leaving poor Bruce taking the fall for everything. It all builds, of course, to a ridiculous, over-the-top, feverish climax, as Walter and Hildy are hiding Williams from the police, the Mayor (Clarence Kolb), and, perhaps more importantly, from their fellow journalists.

His Girl Friday is the epitome of the screwball comedy - the genre of rapid-fire dialog and misunderstandings which snowball to gigantic proportions. And what a film it is. A fabulous cast and amazing script propel this flick to stratospheric heights. Its amazingly fast-paced jokes, lovable cynicism, fabulous cast, and overall outrageousness make for a hilarious combination. I can't think of a single comedy I've enjoyed more than this film.

The film contains an extremely cynical outlook on the world. The depiction of journalism is either flattering or damning, depending on your point of view. On the one hand, we see journalists depicted as scheming, conniving, amoral jerks, who will literally do anything to get a story - including manipulating and trampling everyone else. Walter of course devotes everything he has to winning Hildy back - including legally dubious methods - and get the big scoop, which for once may be complimentary motives. The murderer, Earl Williams, and his alleged "sweetheart" Molly are used as pawns by everyone - the journalists eager for a story, and the politicians hoping to get re-election. This isn't even to mention poor hopeless Bruce, who finds himself the butt of everything that's going on. On the other hand... can we really fault them? After all, Cary Grant and Rosalind Russel are so witty, snappy, and sexy that it's impossible to side against them. And hey, the politicians are doing it too - and who can side with the ineffectual Sheriff or the scheming Mayor, with an even more callous disregard for human life? It's a dog-eat-dog world, and when everybody is a jack-off (or a helpless loser), side with the cool guys.

Hawks' direction is marvelous; the film isn't visually astounding, although the use of shadows in the jail and courtyard scenes are effective, but his handling of the actors and story are extraordinary. Hawks and writer Charles Lederer also make a great improvement over the source material (the play "The Front Page" by Charles MacArthur and Ben Hecht) by making Hildy a woman. This seems like a minor difference at first, but it unquestionably enhances the chemistry and relationship between the two actors, making Walter's manipulation of Hildy more urgent and endearing.

All other considerations aside, you have to give His Girl Friday at least one point: This is undoubtedly THE fastest-talking movie of all time. Charles Lederer's script is filled with endless zingers, comebacks, and wit - along with amusing ad-libs (mostly by Cary Grant - you know the ones). And the actors are absolute naturals at it. This kind of humor makes modern comedies like The 40 Year Old Virgin, Meet the Parents, and even The West Wing (its closest modern counter-part) look lame in comparison.

Cary Grant is an old hand at this genre (Arsenic and Old Lace, Bringing Up Baby) and his Walter Burns is a wonderful character, obnoxious yet charming throughout. His motives would be sweet if it weren't for the situation - and the methods. Rosalind Russel matches him quip for quip as the extremely sexy "modern woman" Hildy. The whole supporting cast is fabulous. Ralph Bellamy makes the sad-sack Bruce an endearingly honest fall guy. John Qualen as the criminal and Helen Mack as his "girlfriend" contribute amusing characters, who find themselves trapped in the ridiculous webs of journalism and politics. The whole supporting cast - Gene Lockhart as the inept Sheriff, Abner Biberman as Walter's pickpocket buddy, Martha Kern as Bruce's beleaguered mother, and Porter Hall, Ernest Truex, and Cliff Edwards (among others) as journalists - are fabulous. If even one actor were off their game, this film wouldn't work - but everyone down to the extras is fabulous.

In conclusion... what more can there be to say? His Girl Friday is perhaps THE greatest comedy of all time. See it, laugh your ass off, lather, rinse, repeat. You won't regret it.

Morrissey by Request

How to write a Morrissey song.

1. Be Catholic, probably essential.
2. Be incredibly conflicted, guilty, tormented.
3. Write your incredibly conflicted, guilty, tormented emotions into song.
4. Pick up a guitar/play piano and string a few chords together.
5. Be honest, absurdly exhibitionist and yet at heart, really rather shy.

Of Your Charity, Please Pray For

Frank Blake RIP
Bob Finn RIP

Réquiem ætérnam dona eis Dómine; et lux perpétua lúceat eis. Requiéscant in pace. Amen.

Ampleforth Abbey

About 5 or 6 years ago I visited Ampleforth Abbey and thought it was delightful. Here is their schedule of prayer. Getting up at six 'o' clock in the morning seems rather civilised for a monastery! Lightweights! I wonder if they have TLM there. Apparently all the Brothers there train to be Priests and many of them serve the local communities around the Abbey. There are so many Abbeys around the UK. I visited Pluscarden Abbey, which was lovely too, nice chant there, then there was a brief visit to the Abbey of St Michael in Farnborough last week which was very lovely, oh and Worth Abbey for a short stay. Then there was The Friars in Aylesford, who were Carmelites and the Franciscans of the Renewal in Canning Town. I mean, seriously, if you felt called, where on earth would you start?!

Religious life in the UK doesn't seem to be waning so much as vocations to the Priesthood. I guess the secular Priesthood is possibly more lonely sometimes and isolating. I suppose that given I am still largely unemployed I could try a day 'peppered with prayer' as the Abbot told me on the phone all those years ago...wonder what would happen! Chances of me getting up at 6am seem minimal right now, but will try and give it a go one day.

Matins, 6.00am
This is sometimes called ‘Vigils’ and some communities get up in the middle of the night to pray it, while all around them sleep. As well as psalms it includes a couple of substantial readings, one from Scripture, another from the early Church Fathers. It lasts about 40 minutes. This gives us fuel for the private prayer that follows.

Lauds, 7.30am
This is the main Morning Prayer, and the tone is celebratory, full of praise and thanksgiving. Lauds and Vespers are the two most important ‘hours’ of the day. It lasts about 25 minutes. Breakfast follows.

Little Hour, 8.45am
For us this replaces the old Prime, Terce, Sext and None, the short offices that punctuated the day. It lasts a mere ten minutes, and consecrates the working day.

Mass, 12.35pm
This is not part of the series of prayer services, because it is in a category of its own. It is the sacrament of the day, in which we offer ourselves to the Eternal Father with Our Lord Jesus Christ, and commune with Our Blessed Lord Himself. Lunch follows.

Vespers, 6.30pm
This is the second principal office of the day, the Evening Prayer. At Ampleforth we sing it in Latin, in Gregorian Chant. It lasts 25 minutes and is followed by half an hour of Lectio Divina, and then supper.

Compline, 9.00pm
This is Night Prayer. It begins with a reading from the Rule. All the psalms, readings and prayers are about protection, safety and the love of God. It lasts 15 minutes and is followed by an antiphon to Our Lady in Gregorian Chant. Silence lasts from the end of this office until Matins the next day.

The Miraculous Apple Tree

Just posted a children's short story I wrote a few years ago entitled The Miraculous Apple Tree. If you'd like to read it click here. If you know any publishers who you think would like it let me know and actually if you like it, let me know. If you don't like it, let me know, but with charity. If your children like it, definitely let me know!

TLM Post Translated into German

If you want to read that post on my first impressions of the Latin Mass at St Mary Magdalen's, only this time in German, click here. Thanks Michael Charlier, glad you liked it. Good Lord, nobody's ever translated anything I've written into any other language until today. Now its in German maybe the Holy Father will read it and make me his Vatican enforcer, crushing heresy through the power of the blog. I'll be known as 'God's Jack Russell.'

An Analogy of What Just Happened Outside My Window

Imagine that the jockeys are the homeless who gather outside my window to have a can of beer and chat and the 'Artist Formerly Known as Prince' is a Community Support Police Officer.' A***holes! Why can't they go out and catch some real criminals? I mean, what do other people pay their taxes for!?

On Prayer

"I must spend some time in prayer this morning...I'll just check my blog, oh how exciting a comment...nice one...S**t, I've left my car down the road, bloody traffic wardens, still haven't paid the last two, better move it...right back, time for some OJ, hmm delicious...right...must say my prayers...look at all that washing up, better do it...right, prayers...Oh, I'll just check Father's blog, oh that's interesting, what about Damien Thompson's, ah same old same old...need a fag, can't believe I'm still smoking through the flu...right, back, must say my prayers, oh but I need a cup of tea, I'll have a cup of tea then say my prayers, yes siree, any minute now, just have a nice cup of tea...lovely stuff, oh I need another fag...right back...Oh my, would you credit it a red wine stain on my desk, s**t, that must have been there for ages, that looks awful, just clean that up and say my prayers...oh my, better have a shower, I feel right groggy, like death...right, shower done...oh my would you credit it? I haven't had lunch yet, lucky I got that soup in yesterday I feel awful, couldn't bear to go out again, yes carrot soup, that'll be good for my cold...need another fag, just have this fag and then I'll say my prayers...oh look, that icon would look much better there, yes, oh that's sweet...just check my bank balance, oh holy s**t, I am so screwed...got to get a job, got to...s**t forgot to clean my teeth...right, oh the post, do I have a letter, do I? do I? No. Nothing, not even a frigging bill, nobody loves me...God, I'm feeling horny, no I shouldn't, oh ...Oh no, I've done it again, I'm such a wretch, O Lord, have mercy, I can't face prayer now, not in this state...if only I'd said my prayers this morning...and on...and on...and on..."

There's nothing quite like a stream of consciousness to remind me how useless I am. I remember the Penny Catechism saying as soon as we wake we should get up, dress modestly and say our prayers. As you can see, if you don't do that endless faffing may be the result. O Christian, beware of faffing, it is the enemy of your soul and an obstacle to your salvation!

New FOCA Protest Website

For info click here.

Someone Call a Doctor! It's a Theological Emergency!

Apotheosis of St Thomas Aquinas, by Francisco De Zurbaran

Today is the Feast of St Thomas Aquinas, Doctor of the Church. Doctors of the Church are people whose writing, inspired by the Holy Spirit, builds up the Church, teaches the truths of the Catholic Faith and inspires others to seek the Face of God. The word doctor also suggests their works had some kind of healing or balming effect on the Church. Don't know, the last one's a shot in the dark.

St Thomas is known to have written vast reams of treatises on Catholic Dogma only to on his deathbed have proclaimed, "Burn everything! God is Love!" His devotees then went out and torched the whole town. When they came back, St Thomas said, "No, I meant the books." Alright, I'm joking, but seriously, he is said to have intimated that the sumnation of Christian belief was exactly what St John said it was in his letters and compared to the profundity of that theological fact, his works, he believed, paled into comparison.

Thank God, however, his disciples did not burn his literature. I remember reading some of Summa Theologica years ago and assuming it was a dictated conversation between him and a sceptic. Talking with Fr Ray yesterday, turned out he was literally playing Devil's Advocate and opening up the Faith of the Church to critical analysis and then guided by the Holy Spirit, refuted all the scepticisms. What a clever blighter!

As you can see from the picture above, St Thomas was a giant theologian of the Church and even up in Heaven, St Thomas has leapt up from his place exclaiming, "Aha! I've got it!" while the other Doctor Saints are saying, "He's at it again, look. Oh, do sit down, Thomas, I think we've got it worked out too...Oh, Good Lord...he always has to be right doesn't he!?"

SS Snatch Children and Hand Them to Gay Dads

HQ of City of Edinburgh Council

Now there's a headline of which the Daily Mail would be proud!

I began calling Social Services 'the SS' a while after I left an organisation where we came into contact with them a lot in London. While obviously there were then and there remain now many exceptions to the rule, Social Services are inherently middle class, highly judgmental and often brutish, ill-mannered bureaucrats, unable to look upon people's poverty or misery without looking down on them patronisingly, and who have an uncanny knack of ensuring that all sensitive issues relating to families are tackled in the only way they know how: with a pen, a sheet of paper and some boxes to tick.

Ultimately, the families we worked with said that it wasn't just the fact that Social Services had taken their children away and put them into care, adopted them out, or put them into middle class foster homes because they were deemed to have been neglectful - even though they tried their hardest in excruciating poverty - it was the total lack of respect from the Social Services they encountered. Respect...a small thing but highly valuable at any time and really rather necessary if you are going to dedicate your life to working with poor families. I don't think they ever thought of running a training course in it in the Social Services diploma.

The Telegraph runs a story today about how Social Services in Edinburgh have removed two young children from the care of their grandparents only for them to be adopted by a homosexual couple. The article, without sensationalism, claims that, 'The five-year-old boy and his four-year-old sister were being looked after by their grandparents because their mother, a recovering drug addict, was not considered capable. But social workers stepped in after allegedly deciding that the couple, who are aged 59 and 46, were "too old" to look after the children. They were allegedly stripped of their carer's rights and informed they would be barred from seeing the children altogether unless they agreed to the same-sex adoption.'

The article continues, 'The distraught grandfather said: "It breaks my heart to think that our grandchildren are being forced to grow up in an environment without a mother-figure. We are not prejudiced, but I defy anyone to explain to us how this can be in their best interests. The ideal for any child is to have a loving father and a loving mother in their lives."

There is nothing controversial about grandparents wanting the best for their grandchildren, yet, we are living in an age in which this view is seen as a new variant of criminal insanity. Regardless of the plain and simple fact that children should not be exposed to the homosexual lifestyle and should be protected from such an adult issue while they still have their innocence, the SS are clearly showing brazen disregard both for the love and commitment shown by the grandparents in their duty to the children and their heartfelt wishes for the best interests of the children being removed from them unjustly.

The article continues, 'The grandfather is a farmhand who has angina while his wife is receiving medication for diabetes. The children have been in foster care for two years while their grandparents battled the social services department in court. However, the cost of legal bills forced them to drop the case and relinquish their rights. The grandparents reluctantly agreed to adoption, provided the children were found a "loving mother and father".' They then learned that the children would be given to a gay couple and are quite understandably aggrieved. Yet, 'when he protested to social workers, the grandfather alleges he was told: "You can either accept it and there's a chance you'll see the children twice a year, or you can take that stance and never see them again."'

What right do the Social Services have to storm in and remove people's children when they are deemed unfit by their standards? I know there have been some tragic cases where they have not acted but this does not appear to be a case of abuse! What right do Social Services have to hand the children over to a gay couple against the wishes of the blood family?! What right do Social Services have to then use the children as pawns in a bullying and threatening fashion in order to maximise their quota for their annual report to the Government on how many times they have stripped families of their rights and pleased the gay community?! What right do they have to stop the grandparents even having contact with the children?! Since when did the State become the natural parent? They don't have any right do it at all! But then, that's why I always call them the SS nowadays...

It's Classic Mass...

Post-Latin Mass Interview hosted by Franciscan Friar

"Congratulations on a marvellous result. How do you think that went, Ron?"

"Well, you know, at the end of the day, I can't complain. The boys gave 110% out there, I can't ask for much more. At the end of the day, there were three altar servers and a Priest out there fighting for Sacred Tradition against the weight of so many stubborn Bishops dragging their feet. We just got into our game and there was little they could do to stop us. I'm proud of the lads. Some of the Bishops were blocking us for a while, you know, they have a formidable defence, a 'magic circle' if you like, but we just kept hammering away at it and in the end, got the result we were after."

"But you came away with a cracking result and what a sublime finish at the end there at the 'Ite Missa Est'. Can you take us through that one more time? We've got it here on slow motion action replay."

"Yes, as you can see, I turned on a sixpence having finished cleaning the Sacred Vessels, faced the congregation and gave them the Dismissal, telling them Mass was ended in Latin. The crowd loved it. It was like 1966 all over again. Magic stuff, you know, as a Priest, you live for times like this. Great Mass, cracking finish, and many of the crowd stayed behind afterwards for more prayer, which is always a good sign. Pure poetry."

"This puts you in a great position for the rest of the season. Where do you think you'll be at the end of the liturgical year?"

"Well, I shouldn't pontificate, but yes, well, you know, we've still got the Holy Father to come back from injury after that SSPX scare, nasty metatarsal from that awful Williamson challenge, but he's come through it well and the Physio is wonderful. I think in time people will see the wisdom there of leaving Fellay and Williamson out for a while, loose cannons, mavericks if you will, but then gradually bringing them back into the Fold and gently healing the rifts. But, you know, the number XVI is our big hitter and I don't think at the end of the season, there will be anyone to challenge us."

"You're really knocking back all-comers when it comes to the Cup."

"Yes, yes, well we're concentrating on the Divine League, 'Sponsored by Sacred Species Under One Kind', you know, and I think you'll find us on top at the end, challenging for honours and Blessed Hosting a sensational victory for true piety, reverence and heartfelt devotion."

"Great stuff, at one point there I thought your backs were really up against it."

"Yes, they were, but sometimes when it looks like your backs are up against it, really, you know, you're all facing the same way, towards the Lord. You know, why go West when you can face East? "Keep facing East!" That's what I tell the lads, and they just respond in kind. If it was good enough for the Early Christians it is good enough for us. It's a different formation, you know, a new system, not what the lads are used to, but we've had good advice that it will work and as you can see, its already paying dividends."

"There was one point there when the crowd were literally on their knees, silent in holy prayer, literally waiting for the Precious Body of Christ, like hungry lambs."

"Yes, well when Holy Mass is done so attentively to remind people they're in the Presence of God, that's what happens. But you know, I can't take all the credit, the boys have given it their all and you've got to say the Almighty played a huge role in this Mass too, coming down from on High and really rescuing us from a lot of trouble, redeeming us when really we didn't deserve it and sustaining us with His Salvific Love, under the guise of bread."

"Marvellous stuff...People are saying your team are similar to the Tridentine team of the 1950s and some are even calling this brand of Mass, 'Total Mass'. Many are unfamiliar with it and others say they haven't seen Mass done so beautifully and reverently since the early 60s in those heady halcyon days of Pius X, who as we all know was a great Leader and Shepherd."

"Yes, you know, we're trying our best. We take a leaf out of his book, you know. We agree with his belief that, "Mass isn't a matter of life and death, it's more important than that: its the Lord's Death and Resurrection." We practice a lot on the training ground, but when the boys know what they're doing, it all flows. Great team work and you can really see that connection with the will of the Holy and Immortal God, and the sense that yes, the Sacrifice of the Mass comes right from Heaven. This was how it was meant to be done and we'll just keep working hard on pleasing God and things should hopefully work out for us."

"An Extraordinary claim, but then it was Mass in the Extraordinary Form and I don't think you'll have too many doubters this evening. Great result, Ron. I'm sure they'll be dancing in the streets of the Vatican tonight. Not sure about Eccesleton Square though...."

"Cheers. A lot of people didn't give us a prayer a few seasons ago when we got His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI on a transfer after his stalwart and inspirational predecessor, Pope John Paul the Great, but you have to say the man has star quality. He's our talisman, our lynchpin, our Rock and I think we can trust him to guide us safely to honours and glory. He really digs in, gets stuck in when times are hard and he's sharp you know, clever, prudent and wise. He's got vision. You can't buy that stuff, you know, its Heaven sent. Who knows? Next year, maybe bigger and better things. This Mass is getting really popular now and who knows, maybe next year, we'll be running encyclicals around all the competition. It would be nice to put a string of Latin Masses together and go on a long unbeaten run for a while."

"Is there anyone you want to dedicate this Mass to?"

"Yes, that was for the People of the Parish."

"Well, Rome will certainly be taking these boys seriously now. Over to you, Trevor, from a stunning Mass here which left many of the congregation breathless and when there were many who doubted too. However, in the end it really was a case of 'It'll be Old Rite on the night.'"

Pope Benedict XVI Receives Relics of Iraqi Martyrs

From Asia News

The Iraqi Chaldean bishops have given Benedict XVI the liturgical robe of Archbishop Paul Faraj Rahho and the stole belonging to Fr. Ragheed Ganni. Both men were killed in Mosul, Archbishop Rahho in 2008, Fr. Ragheed in 2007. The gifts were given during the concluding audience for the ad limina visit made recently by the Eastern bishops. The pope received the relics "with emotion," and recalled the "victims of violence in Iraq during these years" - and in particular the two martrys and the many other priests and faithful - saying that "their sacrifice is a sign of their love for the Church and their country."

In his address to the bishops, the pontiff emphasized the "irreplaceable" value of the Chaldean Church in the history of the East, and of Iraq in particular, and exhorted them to continue this mission in the service "of the human and spiritual development" of the country. For this reason, he said that "it is necessary to promote a high cultural level among the faithful, especially among the young. A good formation in the various areas of knowledge, both religious and secular, is a valuable investment for the future."

He also asked the Iraqi faithful to carry out "a role of moderation" in the construction of the country, in order to shape relationships of understanding among Christians and Muslims, specifying that "the Christians who have always lived in Iraq are full-fledged citizens with the same rights and duties as all, without distinction of religion."

The pope addressed more directly the "daily violence" directed against the Christians. He asked the bishops to support their faithful by "urging them to love the land of their ancestors, to whom they remain profoundly attached." At the same time, the bishops must "appeal to the authorities responsible for the recognition of their human and civil rights."

To the problem of violence in the country is also connected the problem of the diaspora and of emigration. Benedict XVI thanked all of those who in various countries are welcoming the Iraqis who "for a certain period of time must unfortunately leave Iraq," and asked the bishops to care for the faithful of the diaspora. "It is indispensable," the pontiff specified, "for the faithful to preserve their cultural and religious identity, and for the young people to discover and appreciate the rich heritage of their ancestral Church. In this perspective, the spiritual and moral assistance required by the faithful scattered throughout the world must be taken into serious consideration by their pastors, in fraternal relations with the bishops of the local churches."

The pope also emphasized the importance of synod assemblies among the bishops, urging them to "communion and to living interepiscopal charity" in order to "elaborate common pastoral directives." In this regard, the synod of Chaldean bishops scheduled for last December was delayed until May of 2009, despite all of the urgencies presented by the situation in the country.

Finally, Benedict XVI asked the bishops to be close to their faithful, and to urge them on by example, to "remain close to the people in need or in difficulty, the sick, the suffering," and praised the efforts of many Christians who are giving a "testimony of unselfish charity . . . without distinction of origin or religion."

The pope concluded with a wish: "May the prayer and help of your brothers in the faith and of many people of good will accompany you, so that the loving face of God may continue to shine upon the Iraqi people who have known such great suffering."

Celebrities "Pledge" Allegiance to Obama

Someone please stop these sick b****rds. Personally, I pledge to raise awareness of the distubring cult of personality that surrounds President Obama and his sickening disregard for human life in the womb. It is adverts like this that lead me to think this guy could be the new Hitler. I laughed out loud when I heard the celebrity who said, "I pledge to flush only after a deuce!" O my, that was classic. And then there's the lady who pledges to "reduce my use of plastic." Well, if she's a Hollywood celebrity she could start with her face! And then there is the frightening mantra at the end of the ad, which really makes you want to punch them and start daubing anti-Obama graffiti all over your hometown.

"It's No Good, You're Surrounded, Now Put the Can Down and Noone Gets Hurt"

Well its been one of 'those' weekends and entertaining as it has been I have fallen deeply into the mire of sin. It's a wonder I dare to show my face at Mass somedays, but then on Sundays it is obligatory and God wants us there whatever we have done. There are only three moral goods that can emerge from falling into sin, even though we should never promote it and should hate sin. Firstly, falling brings humility in realising one's great and urgent need for God and for His salvation. Secondly, falling means once again we can experience the forgiveness of God through the Sacrament of Penance, because God brings good out of every human evil. Thirdly, having an attachment to sin and falling into it makes one more compassionate about the weaknesses of others. God knows, I try not to go looking for trouble but every now and then trouble finds me, takes me home etc...I hope I don't sound like an heretic, I'm only trying to show the compassionate face of Catholicism: Reconciliation with God and Reparation for sin.

Unfortunately, all this has been lost on the Community Support Police Officers who wander through Brighton pouring away the drinks of beggars and the homeless who are sat peacefully around town. Outside my window on Saturday were four homeless people sitting down against a wall, out of sight of the main road, having a can and chatting. Next time I looked out of the window two CSPOs were confiscating their cans, pouring the contents on the floor, taking their names for identity checks and moving them on to God alone knows where. I remember a trip to Barcelona I made last year, how at night lots of people walked down the street with a can of beer in their hands. I did it myself. Both the smoking ban and the ban on consumption of alcohol on the street are viciously puritan, tyrannical and hypocritical. When I went outside to talk to the officers one of the chaps who was being moved on thanked me that I had argued against what the CPSOs were doing. My main point was this: Why is it okay to get legless sitting outside a pub at a table, but you can't have a can of beer on the pavement, out of sight, even, of 'respectable' Joe Public?

The CSPO concerned told me that they had had complaints from members of the public because people find it intimidating when they see people having a drink during the day and chatting with their friends by a wall. I told the CSPO that that surely was the problem of the people who found it so offensive. Unsightliness, like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It appears more and more that society is being run by stasi-esque traffic wardens whose existence revolves around the execution of council bye-laws which are transparently aimed at hounding the poor around town and treating them as social pariahs.

Meanwhile, everyone in Brighton is getting smashed in the evenings in bars across town, throwing up into the street and getting lairy. But that is okay because it is all taking place at a respectable public house for drinking. Sadly, the protestant revolution is echoing even unto this very day. Whenever I see a CPSO mercilessly pouring someone's drink away I always think of the words of Our Lord, "Go and learn the meaning of the words, 'It is mercy I desire, not sacrifice.'" I remember my Priest's homily once in which he said, "As Christians we are on the side of the crucified, not the crucifiers." The very poor know about society's innate ability to hound them, criminalise them and crucify them. It is up to us to help change people's prejudices and attitudes towards the poor. I have a cunning plan and it involves bongos, guitars and a can of Special Brew.

Feast of the Conversion of St Paul

Bartolome Esteban Murillo's 'Conversion of St Paul'

Today the Church calendar marks the Conversion of St Paul, the incredible man who spread the Gospel far and wide and who was martyred in Rome. The Acts of the Apostles tell of how the man Saul was present at the stoning of St Stephen, the first Christian martyr and persecuted the early Church, only to astonishingly be converted when on the road to Damascus. I love the paintings of his conversion, as he was blinded by the light of Christ who said to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?" Saul became Paul and Paul became St Paul, who wrote the Letters which expound the love of God, the Grace of God and the formation of the early Church. He wrote this on love:

Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.

I am fond of incredible conversions to the Catholic Faith and of course history is littered with them. I like the idea that a raging Saul is on his way to Damascus on his horse thinking of new and exciting ways of killing Chistians and God looks at him and thinks, "He's got potential...I think I'll use him." Ah, but of course, St Paul was chosen before the foundation of the World.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Oscar Quest concludes (well, the Best Picture round anyway) with a much-belated look at David Fincher's The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a movie which, to say the least, pleasantly surprised me. Granted, the night after watching The Reader I could have watched Silent Night Deadly Night 2 or (God help us) The Trial of Billy Jack and probably found it more enjoyable, but Benjamin Button greatly exceeded my expectations in delivering a thoughtful, touching, and most of all entertaining film.

Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt) is born in 1918 New Orleans, afflicted with a strange, unaccountable condition: he is born with the attributes of an old man. Abandoned by his father (Jason Flemyng), he is adopted by Tizzy (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali) and Queenie (Taraji P. Henson), a black couple who help run a nursing home. As time goes on, Benjamin not only survives infancy, but grows up, regressing in age as time goes by. He lives a long and full life, serving on the crew of a tugboat, and cultivating a lifelong romance with dancer Daisy (Cate Blanchett), but is cursed by his affliction - which those around him wither and die while he grows ever more young and handsome.

I would be lying if I didn't tell you I went into the movie with pretty low expectations; the plot idea seemed tacky and ridiculous, and I'd heard many people whose opinions I respect (not least of all Roger Ebert) badmouth the film or at least express disappointment. Certainly the film has an odd premise and its share of false notes. But overall it surprised me, making at least three Best Picture nominees that I wouldn't mind winning, unlike last year's zero.

The movie is extremely effective at what it sets out to do. It uses its admittedly odd and somewhat gimmicky idea the best possible way; by framing its story around and emphasizing a message of love, loss and the inexorable march of time. One might argue that Benjamin is no more cursed than anyone else who lives to an old age and has to watch their relatives die. Fair enough, but what does Benjamin have to look forward to? Moving backwards as he is, he is unable to live of a life with any degree of satisfaction or real enjoyment out of his life. Too old to form a proper relationship with Daisy as a child, too young to maintain it as she she ages, he can only maintain his relationships when on just the right wavelength of the others, and then watch them wither and die while he turns into Brad Pitt. It's to the credit of Fincher and his writers (and certainly the cast) that they're able to turn this silly concept into something touching and almost profound; it pulls all of the right emotional strings without being cloying or obnoxious. If it's manipulative, it's the good kind.

Many people have compared the film to Forrest Gump, not the least because it shares screenwriter Eric Roth. This is only valid in an oblique sense, of a man living through a long swath of history and its important events. If anything, however, the movie is the anti-Gump; whereas Forrest was a nitwit who had a major impact on history without realizing it, Benjamin is a man all too painfully aware of himself, and yet he actually achieves very little, professionally or personally; even his war service is marked by chance survival rather than any heroics, and that's probably the biggest achievement of his entire life. Even then, the film doesn't dwell on its historical events, and at best skims over its context. I dare posit that any film about the life of a person would have to deal with the events they lived through, yes?

The movie's message is not entirely original, but it's well-done anyway. The plot device is a bit odd but avoids being tacky; it's used well to push the story's message forward. The movie's only major flaws are the lame framing device involving a dying Daisy and her daughter (Julia Ormond) in hospital, during Hurricane Katrina of all things, and the illogical progression of Benjamin's growth; if he started out as an infirm baby, shouldn't he grow into a young-looking old man rather than regressing back to infancy? (This is the exact opposite of the original F. Scott Fitzgerald short story, but I digress.) Considering the whole, though, those are relatively minor complaints.

David Fincher's direction is wonderful. His films (Se7en, Fight Club) usually have a forced, false atmosphere of doom, gloom and despair that is turned into wistful nostalgia here. The film maintains a fantastic, nostalgic, almost dream-like atmosphere throughout, never seeming completely real. His sense of shadow and color, the strong point of his other films, survives here and thrives as well in an atypical context. The make-up is astonishing, as is to be expected. Alexandre Desplat's contributes a moody, emotional musical score that enhances the proceedings considerably.

The film's acting is very good. Brad Pitt does a nice job depicted Benjamin's improbable evolution, managing to make him believable in spite of the copious make-up job. It's not the greatest performance of Pitt's career but it's a nice turn anyway. Cate Blanchett, however, is most wonderful; she pulls off a difficult character extremely well; I don't know how she missed out on an Oscar nod. (As an aside, I've always loved her as an actress but I've never found her more luminously beautiful and attractive than here.) The supporting cast contains its share of gems, including Taraji P. Henson as Queenie, Tilda Swinton as Benjamin's short-lived English lover, and Ted Manson as the poor fellow who always gets hit by lightning.

Flaws aside, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a really fine film. Its insights are timeless if not particularly original, and except for a few kinks in plot and story dynamics it's a near-flawless piece of entertainment. 8/10 and #5/22 for 2008

Rating: 8/10 - Highly Recommended

So, what's next?

Feast of St Francis de Sales

Courtesy of Catholic Online

Born in France in 1567, Francis was a patient man. He knew for thirteen years that he had a vocation to the priesthood before he mentioned it to his family. When his father said that he wanted Francis to be a soldier and sent him to Paris to study, Francis said nothing. Then when he went to Padua to get a doctorate in law, he still kept quiet, but he studied theology and practiced mental prayer while getting into swordfights and going to parties. Even when his bishop told him if he wanted to be a priest that he thought that he would have a miter waiting for him someday, Francis uttered not a word. Why did Francis wait so long? Throughout his life he waited for God's will to be clear. He never wanted to push his wishes on God, to the point where most of us would have been afraid that God would give up!

God finally made God's will clear to Francis while he was riding. Francis fell from his horse three times. Every time he fell the sword came out of the scabbard. Every time it came out the sword and scabbard came to rest on the ground in the shape of the cross. And then, Francis, without knowing about it, was appointed provost of his diocese, second in rank to the bishop...(for more click here...)

More Afterthoughts on TLM: Benefits

• I can invite a non-Catholic friend to Mass and I don't have to 'hold his hand' to help him or guide him through the responses for the Holy Mass, because the emphasis has been taken away from the congregation's audible participation. If he asks me what he has to do in the Mass I can tell him: Pray.
  

• Mass becomes more about the interior than the functions of the exterior. I can reflect more humbly and more reverently on Who is to be consecrated on the Altar, Who I am about to receive, Who I have just received and Who now dwells within me.

• It is all too easy to forget that for over 2000 years the Church has been churning out Saints and Blesseds like a holy factory, even though She is a hospital for sinners. I am quite certain that the more exposure men and women have to TLM, the more Saints and Blesseds will be the result, because it draws the communicant deeper into the mystery of God and the Communion of the Saints. If the Church isn't churning out Saints and Blesseds, then we will know why, because like the British Government we've destroyed our manufacturing base. I guess what I am saying, is that it is easy to forget that the Saints of the Church prayed the Mass reverently, always experienced the interior devotion of TLM and would have taken it for granted that TLM was the only Mass and were they to walk into a Church today they might have a very big shock and have a few things to say to the Priest!

• This is one reason why an English Bishop's comments regarding the Mass being about the 'community' in worship is disappointing. So often, protestants talk about a 'personal relationship' with the Lord Jesus and they are often derided as a result. Yet the great irony is that the majority of protestant worship does take place in assembly, does involve a great deal of corporate singing, does involve a sense of the corporate over-riding the sense of private devotion and solemnity. If you are really seeking a personal relationship with Christ then TLM is the place to find it. If you want to go to a disco on the other hand, there's always somewhere down the road in Brighton...
  

• TLM genuinely encourages the Faithful into a deeper, personal relationship with God and quite right too. Although Heaven is a joyous company of men and women praising, adoring and loving God in eternity, and that is where we hope to belong when we die, I suppose the point is when we die we will be alone with God. We are more likely to prepare spiritually for a holy death if we are seeking God's face in the silence of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, rather than if we are all singing, all responding, all being vocal and possibly drowning out His voice entirely.

• Ooh and you are more likely to get vocations to the Priesthood and Religious Life because men and women are more likely to desire to contemplate God, love God and hear His call.
  

The Pen is Mightier (and Deadlier) than the Sword

President Barack Obama, still riding the crest of a wave of popularity has in the first week of office signed quite a few 'Executive Orders'. With the stroke of a pen, he assigned Guantanamo Bay to the ignominious dustbin of history to which it belongs and receives adulation and applause. It would appear that the powers of the President have been increased incredibly in the last few years and it is a worrying development. I mean, does no-one ever think, what if the guy was a total nutjob, even more nutty than the last one (I know its hard to imagine) and a serial killer in disguise.

It is with nonchalance and indifference that with the stroke of a pen also, he then proceeded days later to consign the unborn children at least partially protected under US legislation to the ignominious dustbin to which they most certainly do not belong, nor deserve to be consigned. Planned Parenthood's well-known and unholy alliance with Obama is paying dividends now. The pro-abortion corporation funded his bid for the Presidency with their filthy blood money, and are now been rewarded with the removal of restrictions on public finance being used to fund abortion clinics. No corruption in US politics now Obama is here? Think again...Obama isn't going to bite the hands that feed him.

For a Friend in a Cell

A friend of mine was arrested yesterday having been spotted breaching his ASBO in the town centre. There are vast swathes of Brighton in which he is not allowed to stand, sit or walk until 2012. Society has rejected him and the authorities wish to control his movements. His crime? Having a can on the street and begging. Due to his arrest he could face a maximum of four years in jail for breaching his ASBO. So, he could receive a prison sentence merely for standing in the wrong place in town. A bit harsh? Welcome to Brown's Britain.

A brief rant on The Reader

I went to see The Reader tonight in furtherance of my Oscar-quest. Ordinarily when I hate a movie I'll enjoy writing a long, vituperative review of its suckiness. But I'm just so tired and angry about this piece of shit that this angry rant, posted initially on the Sergio Leone Web Board, will suffice for a full-length review.

This movie was utter shit. A complete waste of $8.50 and two hours.

I'll get the Jerry Falwell complaint out of the way first. Half of the movie's first hour is literally nothing but sex scenes, again and again. I'm not a prude by any means, but the fact that 90% of this section of the film involves sex scenes, or penis/muff shots, or Kate Winslet's wet nipples through a bra, or shirtless dudes and girls in bikinis, one goes from titilated to nonplussed to awkward and uncomfortable. I wouldn't even mind it that much, IF IT SERVED A PURPOSE!!! As it is, it serves no purpose but existence for its own sake; it doesn't aid in plot or character development in any way, and after awhile it's not even sexy.

Now I wouldn't complain about something as trivial as that if the movie had something else to offer. But it doesn't (and it actually isn't that trivial all things considered). Once the story actually gets (belatedly) underway, the movie revolves around the most stupid plot imaginable: (spoilers, but who cares?) Kate Winslet can't read. This serves virtually no purpose except at all, except to have her shut away in prison for a crime she committed during WWII (in one of the most ridiculous courtroom scenes I've seen in a long time) because she won't admit to her illiteracy. This might be an interesting idea, but the movie drops it immediately for Kate Winslet's reading and writing lessons (the funniest scene of which is where she learns how to read by hearing "The" and circling the word every time it occurs on a page. Good thing the film was in English, given that most Germans have six words for "the".). The inclusion of Holocaust-based material provides no interest other than a veneer of historical "respectibility" and really has little to do with anything; the film provides some brief debates of morality vs. law which MIGHT be interesting in a different context but just thud here amidst the general shittiness. The plot doesn't even get started until about an hour in, and even then it never develops into any thing interesting, except Winslet's struggles with literacy. Winslet and the teen douche don't have the slightest chemistry and Ralph Fiennes doesn't even show up until the last half hour (okay, there's a framing story that's established and then almost immediately dropped). The coda is absolute bullshit: it's not even sentimental, it's just stupid.

The acting is pretty good (although the material they have to work with is awful) and the technical aspects are well-done, but given how shitty everything else is these are extremely back-handed complements. This movie just fucking sucks; it's so bad I can't even be bothered to write an in-depth review detailing it's badness. That's really bad. Don't waste your time or money. 3/10 and that's being generous.

That leaves only Benjamin Button of the Best Picture nominees, to which I say: Thank God!

The Latin Mass: It Is Okay to Be

Tonight I went to the first Latin Mass I've attended at St Mary Magdalen's Church. It is the first Mass at which I have not uttered a word...and that is why it is beautiful. It is the first Mass at which I have not responded to what the Priest is saying...and that is why it is beautiful. I came away thinking, yes, that is how it was always meant to be. It is almost as if everyone suddenly knows his place.

The Priest is allowed to be the Priest, mediating and interceding on the behalf of his congregation, with vocal and inaudible prayer and entreaty. His assistant, the altar server assists in the responses during the liturgy.

The Laity are allowed to be the Laity, allowed to be still in the Presence of God, to acknowledge our unworthiness before the Lord and to be able to actually pray without distraction, without having to make responses, even 'Amen', without having to vocalise the pattern of the Mass and to simply be before God. The vocalised responses to the Mass have been taken away, the responsibility to speak has been removed and in comparison to the New Rite, are suddenly left feeling, 'But isn't there something we have to do? Isn't there something we have to say? What am I meant to do?' Yet, now we can be! We don't have to do anything! Now we can pray in the silence of our hearts and seek Him!

And, of course, most importantly, Amighty God is allowed to be Almighty God, without being assailed by the noise of the Laity, without men and women profaning Him by receiving the Blessed Host in the hand, without men and women profaning or demeaning Him by not kneeling to receive, without them uttering the sacred words of the Santcus carelessly or without thought or devotion, knowing that in the Priest He has someone who is worthy by virtue of his Office, to mediate for His people.

Yes, suddenly in the Latin Mass, everybody knows their place, harmony is restored and nobody is seeking to usurp another's role. The Priest as Alter Christo takes upon himself the mediatory role between man and God and is allowed to be the Priest and we the Laity are allowed to be, allowed to pray in the silent majesty of Presence of God.

God Help Us All

A friend of mine called Michael handed me this the other day, his thoughts on the importance of the kind spirited people who run soup runs for the homeless and what life would be like without them.

I met an old lady the other day on Victoria station, in the freezing cold, collecting for the Passage, the local hostel for the homeless. We exchanged a few words and I was on my way and it set me thinking, 'What happens to the homeless and those less fortunate, when those old ladies and gentlemen who give so much of their time and energy, can no longer carry on? I do hope there is a place in Heaven reserved especially for them - the special ones!

If their legions deplete it is the whole of society that will suffer - not just the buttie and soup runs and the kind words that lift us out of the doledrums - these unsung heroes - carers without reward - should that tradition be lost, then so are we all.

Are they a dying breed or are there more coming through?

Because God help us all if there's not!

M.V

Oscars!

Well, the Academy of Twats and Tools has spoken! Here are your 2009 Academy Award nominees.



Best Motion Picture of the Year

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Ceán Chaffin, Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall
Frost/Nixon (2008): Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Eric Fellner
Milk (2008): Bruce Cohen, Dan Jinks
The Reader (2008): Nominees to be determined
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Christian Colson

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Richard Jenkins for The Visitor (2007/I)
Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon (2008)
Sean Penn for Milk (2008)
Brad Pitt for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler (2008)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married (2008)
Angelina Jolie for Changeling (2008)
Melissa Leo for Frozen River (2008)
Meryl Streep for Doubt (2008/I)
Kate Winslet for The Reader (2008)

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Josh Brolin for Milk (2008)
Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder (2008)
Philip Seymour Hoffman for Doubt (2008/I)
Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight (2008)
Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road (2008)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Amy Adams for Doubt (2008/I)
Penélope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Viola Davis for Doubt (2008/I)
Taraji P. Henson for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Marisa Tomei for The Wrestler (2008)

Best Achievement in Directing

Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Stephen Daldry for The Reader (2008)
David Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)
Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon (2008)
Gus Van Sant for Milk (2008)

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

Frozen River (2008): Courtney Hunt
Happy-Go-Lucky (2008): Mike Leigh
In Bruges (2008): Martin McDonagh
Milk (2008): Dustin Lance Black
WALL·E (2008): Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter, Jim Reardon

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Eric Roth, Robin Swicord
Doubt (2008/I): John Patrick Shanley
Frost/Nixon (2008): Peter Morgan
The Reader (2008): David Hare
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Simon Beaufoy

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Changeling (2008): Tom Stern
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Claudio Miranda
The Dark Knight (2008): Wally Pfister
The Reader (2008): Roger Deakins, Chris Menges
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Anthony Dod Mantle

Best Achievement in Editing

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Angus Wall, Kirk Baxter
The Dark Knight (2008): Lee Smith
Frost/Nixon (2008): Daniel P. Hanley, Mike Hill
Milk (2008): Elliot Graham
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Chris Dickens

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Changeling (2008): James J. Murakami, Gary Fettis
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo
The Dark Knight (2008): Nathan Crowley, Peter Lando
The Duchess (2008): Michael Carlin, Rebecca Alleway
Revolutionary Road (2008): Kristi Zea, Debra Schutt

Best Achievement in Costume Design

Australia (2008): Catherine Martin
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Jacqueline West
The Duchess (2008): Michael O'Connor
Milk (2008): Danny Glicker
Revolutionary Road (2008): Albert Wolsky

Best Achievement in Makeup

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Greg Cannom
The Dark Knight (2008): John Caglione Jr., Conor O'Sullivan
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008): Mike Elizalde, Thomas Floutz

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Alexandre Desplat
Defiance (2008): James Newton Howard
Milk (2008): Danny Elfman
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman
WALL·E (2008): Thomas Newman

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman, Gulzar("Jai Ho")
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): A.R. Rahman, Maya Arulpragasam("O Saya")
WALL·E (2008): Peter Gabriel, Thomas Newman("Down to Earth")

Best Achievement in Sound

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce, Mark Weingarten
The Dark Knight (2008): Ed Novick, Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke, Resul Pookutty
WALL·E (2008): Tom Myers, Michael Semanick, Ben Burtt
Wanted (2008): Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño, Petr Forejt

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

The Dark Knight (2008): Richard King
Iron Man (2008): Frank E. Eulner, Christopher Boyes
Slumdog Millionaire (2008): Tom Sayers
WALL·E (2008): Ben Burtt, Matthew Wood
Wanted (2008): Wylie Stateman

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008): Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron
The Dark Knight (2008): Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Timothy Webber, Paul J. Franklin
Iron Man (2008): John Nelson, Ben Snow, Daniel Sudick, Shane Mahan

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Bolt (2008): Chris Williams, Byron Howard
Kung Fu Panda (2008): John Stevenson, Mark Osborne
WALL·E (2008): Andrew Stanton

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (2008)(Germany)
Entre les murs (2008)(France)
Revanche (2008)(Austria)
Okuribito (2008)(Japan)
Vals Im Bashir (2008)(Israel)

Best Documentary, Features

The Betrayal - Nerakhoon (2008): Ellen Kuras, Thavisouk Phrasavath
Encounters at the End of the World (2007): Werner Herzog, Henry Kaiser
The Garden (2008/I): Scott Hamilton Kennedy
Man on Wire (2008): James Marsh, Simon Chinn
Trouble the Water (2008): Tia Lessin, Carl Deal

Best Documentary, Short Subjects

The Conscience of Nhem En: Steven Okazaki
The Final Inch: Irene Taylor Brodsky, Tom Grant
Smile Pinki: Megan Mylan
The Witness from the Balcony of Room 306: Adam Pertofsky, Margaret Hyde

Best Short Film, Animated

Nominees:La Maison en Petits Cubes: Kunio Kato
Ubornaya istoriya - lyubovnaya istoriya (2007): Konstantin Bronzit
Oktapodi (2007): Emud Mokhberi, Thierry Marchand
Presto (2008): Doug Sweetland
This Way Up (2008): Alan Smith, Adam Foulkes

Best Short Film, Live Action

Nominees:Auf der Strecke (2007): Reto Caffi
Manon sur le bitume (2007): Elizabeth Marre, Olivier Pont
New Boy (2007): Steph Green, Tamara Anghie
Grisen (2008): Tivi Magnusson, Dorthe Warnø Høgh
Spielzeugland (2007): Jochen Alexander Freydank

I got four of my five Best Picture nods correct. I should have known Benjamin Button was going to get it, but otherwise nice work Grogs.

Now... to the the-ater! WE'VE GOT MOVIE SIGN!!!

Groggy's 11th Hour Oscar Predictions!

Yes, Oscar nominations are less than twelve hours away! It's time to preserve my idiocy and ignorant for all time by making some predictions using my amazing prognosticative (sic) powers.

I'm only going to do Best Pictures - the five I think are most likely to get noms and five that have a good shot. I know a lot of you care about Best Sound Editing or Best Gaffer, but I don't.

The Nominees Are...

Slumdog Millionaire - The almost universal critical praise, its slowly-gathering box office success and great word of mouth, and its Golden Globe success make this pretty much a lock. Let's hope it's a win too.

Frost/Nixon - The acclaim the movie's getting, particularly for its lead performances, makes it all but a lock. I would be extremely surprised if this didn't get a nod.

Milk - Hollywood loves a well-made cookie-cutter biopic, and its progressive subject matter will make the Academy (and Sean Penn) feel warm and tingly inside by voting for it. Am I cynical? You betcha.

The Wrestler - Will Mickey Rourke's performance alone be enough to jettison it to contenton? We'll see, but I'm willing to give it that chance.

The Reader - The year's Dark Horse, not much chance but you can never be sure. Everyone loves a Holocaust film, right? (Wait, then where's Boy in the Striped Pajamas? Nevermind.)

Also Ran...

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - A few months ago this would have been an unquestioned lock, but mixed critical reviews and largely negative buzz from the people whose opinions matter in these things. Still, it's been a big hit and it has elements of the movie that the Academy likes to suck up whenever possible, so we'll see. Speaking of which, I need to see this film ASAP.

Revolutionary Road - DiCaprio and Winslett together isn't going to result in anything besides a Kate Winslett nomination.

Doubt - As much as I love this movie, I don't see anything beyond the three acting nods for Streep, Hoffman and Adams (and maybe Davis). I would love to be surprised though.

Gran Torino - Poor Clint. First the Changeling buzz fizzled out, now this movie's going to miss out except maybe a Best Actor nod. Wait a minute - Unforgiven, Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby? No "poor Clint", try "Move over Clint - give someone else a turn!"

The Dark Knight - Popularity and critical acclaim count for something, but I don't see this getting any nods beyond Best Supporting Actor for Ledger and a few technical awards.

Thanks for your time. Let's keep our fingers crossed that I get one of these selections right...

It's Martyrdom Time...

Today was the Feast of St Agnes, Martyr of the Church who was beheaded for keeping her virginity and courageously proclaiming Christ to be her true Spouse. We Catholics have been quite left alone in the UK, the US and the West as a whole for a long while, but the story is very different in other countries in India, Pakistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, China and many other countries around the World, where the Church is still under daily attack.

Tertullian said, "The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church," meaning, I assume that the witness of the holy martyrs only gives the Church more life because the men and women who still today lay their lives down for Christ say to the World, "Jesus Christ is the man I am willing to die for, because he laid down his life for me." I mean, how long can you keep killing the innocent and just until people eventually say, "Oh alright, you can have a Church and practice your religion, just keep the noise down and pay a bit extra tax and we won't bother you for a few hundred years."

In the UK we have the 40 Martyrs of England and Wales, many of whom were killed at Tyburn, York, during the horrendous and bloody reign of Henry VIII, who had many Catholics killed, even ones he truly respected such as the great St Thomas More, because they wouldn't sign the Act of Supremacy. Only one Bishop, incidently, was martyred during this time and his name was St John Fisher.

So, and I know this is a bit dark and gruesome, but it is not totally impossible a scenario to imagine, that the Catholic Faith becomes so grotesque a religion in the eyes of Western societies, or to a charismatic leader with mass appeal (no pun intended) that a persecution of the Church is launched. How do you want to go? Be inventive as we are promised they will be should the time come.

a) Beheaded.
b) Sawn.
c) Shot/Shot with a sawn-off shotgun and then beheaded.
d) Smelted down with plastic and turned into a telephone, which by Supernatural Grace becomes the 'direct line to God' that your protestant murderers keep banging on about, so they can genuinely obtain His forgiveness and be mercifully told by the entire Court of Heaven to join the One True Church in order to frequent the Sacraments of Grace and save their souls.
e) Hung.
f) Drawn.
g) Quartered.
h) All three of the above (you really love the Church!)
i) Electrocuted/Tazered repetitively.
j) Stabbed
k) Smoked/Roasted/Grilled/Baked/Seared/Skewered and kebabed asking, "Salad, chilli sauce, garlic sauce?"/Deep-fat fryed/Boiled/Poached/Pressure-cooked/Tinned/Canned/Bottled and thrown out to sea only to return to the miraculous sound of an angelic choir singing 'Message in a Bottle,' by The Police.
l) Gassed.
m) Drowned/Thrown off a pier with lead weight only to resurface saying, "Bhoy, that was a lucky escape!" only to be harpooned to death viciously.
n) Dropped out of hot air balloon/plane with no parachute, noting, "And to think people pay good money for this! What a view! Oops, nearly forgot, Lord, don't hold this sin against..." (SPLAT)
o) Starved/Dehydrated/Rehydrated too much/Fed an extremly intense diet of saturated fats daily until you suffer fatal heart failure.
p) Poisoned/Lethal injection/Electric Chair
q) Fed to lions/piranhas/sharks/aligators/killer ants/killer bees/grizzly bears/killer badgers/killer squirrels only to thwart your persecutors because you've befriended them and taught them to give more praise to God, before a more sure method of execution.
r) Stoned.
s) Macheted.
t) Fired out of cannonball, blown up and emblazoned across the sky, spelling, by Supernatural Grace, a list of all the Popes since St Peter or, knowing me, "And you're absolutely sure you don't want to marry me?"
u) Winched into active volcano due to go off within the next 48 hours according to highly accurate seismic readings.
v) Clubbed.
w) Crushed and recycled (a.k.a. Bishop's Choice, "Come now, think of the environment! Please recycle me, I couldn't bear to be put into landfill. Dear Lord, I pray these persecutors look after Your planet better from now on!")
x) Minced/Blended/Spliced/Grated/Sliced/Cubed/Freshly Ground/Burnt down and smoked/Burnt down and turned into teabag for gigantic tea pot (a.k.a. English 'Til I Die)
y) Buried alive.
z) Being used as a new and intriguing novelty minute-hand for Big Ben saying, "You rascals! You won't be laughing at the End of Time!" to yet more peels of laughter.

So many ways to go! Can you think of more? Still, anything's better than that hideous tumour on the front of my fag packet.

Catholic Dissent: Do We Need More Of It?

A friend of mine has a boyfriend who has been refused bail and is now residing in prison for involvement in a demonstration at the grounds of a firm whose ethics he took issue with. According to my friend he is innocent of taking part any wrongdoing in what took place, but was caught up in the chaos and was charged, simply because he is a protester well-known to the authorities.

Catholic dissent seems to be on the decrease in the UK. We have all gone quite meekly into the night when it comes to peaceful, civil protest at laws enacted in the UK concerning Life issues, the Human Embryology Bill and local bye-laws which punish the very poor, such as begging and street drinking. Civil protest is our right and we have a right to have our voices heard when they are not heeded by the political process.

While St Paul encourages us to be subject to the law of the land, it is perhaps a worry that, for example, around the abortion clinics dotted around the UK there are no small, peaceful gatherings of faithful Catholics simply praying the Rosary outside. When or if the HFE bill gets passed, will Catholics pray the Rosary in peaceful protest outside companies using human embryos for scientific research into cures for diseases? I wonder what would happen if people did protest peacefully in these situations. While violence and criminal damage is not a good thing to be praised, it is a concern that Catholics in the UK are not prepared to put their necks on the line for the causes they know are right, but many other people motivated by a passion for justice are.

Accosted by Raging Protestant

On my way to St Mary Magdalen's to do the admin I was accosted by a young man named Stephen who invited me to a talk called, "Evolution: Fact or Fiction" and wanted to give me a flyer for it. I refused politely saying, "Thank you, but I'm Catholic and I listen to the Church." Oh boy! He didn't like that at all! He proceeded to wax lyrical about salvation through being "born again" and through the reading the Bible. Having half an hour earlier prayed the peace prayer of St Francis, I was in no mood for a fight, but he held me for a good five or six minutes trying to persuade me of the error of my ways.

Key themes included:

1) There is only one mediator between God and man and that is Jesus Christ. There is therefore no reason for a Priesthood, Cardinals, Pope, Bishops and Clergy.

2) There is no need for Sacraments when you are 'born again,' because it is a "new life in Jesus."

3) There is no need to pray to the Virgin Mary and the Saints because that's not in the Bible.

4) Because of the terrible heresy of belonging to the Catholic Church and not being 'born again', my punishment will be eternal damnation.

5) There is nothing in the Bible about Sacraments, the Papal Supremacy and the Catholic Church or anything for which the Catholic Church stands.

I told him that the World needs a Holy Arbiter and Interpreter of Sacred Scripture, otherwise any man could come up with his own interpretation. I did cite Christ's breathing on the Disciples and giving them the power to forgive sins and Christ's giving of the keys to St Peter but he really wasn't having it.

He was very, very concerned for my soul, bless him and was desperate to rescue my arse from the pit of destruction. Having hung out with a few protestants recently, I am seriously considering a tattoo for the first time in my life. I'm thinking of a black ink, in Times New Roman font on my forehead, simply saying, "Sinner." This way, I'll attract hoards of protestants to me who I can then gently but firmly admonish concerning their heresy. Tell you what though, give them an inch and they'll take a country mile. Having been told of my eternal fate with the damned, I said, "God bless you" and left him to go about his business. Poor lamb, I'd imagine someone less patient is going to belt him one.

For a good blogsite on Biblical Evidence for Catholicism, click here.

St Stephen, Proto-martyr of the Church and his Holy Patron, pray for us.

Feast of St Agnes, Virgin & Martyr

Looking for a biog of the life of St Agnes, I found a blog called Sponsa Christi from a young lady who has recently consecrated herself to a life of virginity. What a courageous, faithful and inspiring person she is!

Biography courtesy of Catholic Online

St. Agnes was a Roman girl who was only thirteen years old when she suffered martyrdom for her Faith. Agnes had made a promise, a promise to God never to stain her purity. Her love for the Lord was very great and she hated sin even more than death! Since she was very beautiful, many young men wished to marry Agnes, but she would always say, "Jesus Christ is my only Spouse."

Procop, the Governor's son, became very angry when she refused him. He had tried to win her for his wife with rich gifts and promises, but the beautiful young girl kept saying, "I am already promised to the Lord of the Universe. He is more splendid than the sun and the stars, and He has said He will never leave me!" In great anger, Procop accused her of being a Christian and brought her to his father, the Governor. The Governor promised Agnes wonderful gifts if she would only deny God, but Agnes refused. He tried to change her mind by putting her in chains, but her lovely face shone with joy. Next he sent her to a place of sin, but an Angel protected her. At last, she was condemned to death.

Even the pagans cried to see such a young and beautiful girl going to death. Yet, Agnes was as happy as a bride on her wedding day. She did not pay attention to those who begged her to save herself. "I would offend my Spouse," she said, "if I were to try to please you. He chose me first and He shall have me!" Then she prayed and bowed her head for the death-stroke of the sword.

St Agnes, patroness of the Children of Mary, pray that the Blessed Virgin Mary's children who stray from the true Faith may return and for all persecuted for their holy purity and virginity.

"I Will Execute..."

An understandably nervous Barack Obama stumbled over repeating the Oath of Office when he failed to repeat the sentence, "I will execute the Office of President of the United States of America," only managing to state the words, "I will execute," at which point he had to be prompted and reminded of the rest of the oath.

Now, there is nothing to laugh about here, it is just a stumble of a man on a historic occasion on which we all congratulate him and pray for him to live up to the expectations of a weary nation.

The deeper underlying reason why I noted his pause and failure to repeat a very simple oath, leaving his sentence unfinished and merely saying, "I will execute," is that the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA), is the first act he wants to sign in Office.

The signing of FOCA will indeed be a watershed moment for US politics, because if it is signed it will consign thousands more innocent, unborn children to death through abortion.

May God guide him to the protection of all US citizens from conception to death and to follow policies to build true and lasting peace throughout the World.

Feast of St Sebastian & St Fabian

The picture above reminds me now of a young man who I saw today who was recently stabbed. Please pray he gets his wound seen to soon, lest it become infected.

Courtesy of Catholic Online

According to his legend, Sebastian was born at Narbonne, Gaul. He became a soldier in the Roman army at Rome in about 283, and encouraged Marcellian and Marcus, under sentence of death, to remain firm in their faith. Sebastian made numerous converts: among them were the master of the rolls, Nicostratus, who was in charge of prisoners and his wife, Zoe, a deaf mute whom he cured; the jailer Claudius; Chromatius, Prefect of Rome, whom he cured of gout; and Chromatius' son, Tiburtius. Chromatius set the prisoners free, freed his slaves, and resigned as prefect.

Sebastian was named captain in the praetorian guards by Emperor Diocletian, as did Emperor Maximian when Diocletian went to the East. Neither knew that Sebastian was a Christian. When it was discovered during Maximian's persecution of the Christians that Sebastian was indeed a Christian, he was ordered executed. He was shot with arrows and left for dead, but when the widow of St. Castulus went to recover his body, she found he was still alive and nursed him back to health. Soon after, Sebastian intercepted the Emperor, denounced him for his cruelty to Christians, and was beaten to death on the Emperor's orders.

Saint Sebastian was venerated at Milan as early as the time of St. Ambrose and was buried on the Appian Way. He is patron of archers, athletes, and soldiers, and is appealed to for protection against plagues.

Milk

Tonight's entry in Groggy's Oscar-thon is Gus Van Sant's Milk. In spite of the considerable awards hype it has received, it's a fairly typical entry in the sanitized Hollywood biopic genre. That it's getting Best Picture and Best Actor buzz isn't overly surprising - the subject matter and the film's format as a standard glossy Hollywood biopic are the stuff Oscar gold is made of - but anyone who thinks that's indicative of its quality, or that there's anything original about it, should be wary.

The film tells the life story - well, the important parts - of Harvey Milk (Sean Penn), the gay rights activist who rose to position of San Francisco City Supervisor in the late '70s, leading in no small way to the legitimization of the gay rights movement - and his assassination at the hands of disgruntled fellow Supervisor Dan White (Josh Brolin). We see key points in Harvey's life - as a closeted New York insurance salesman who falls in love with Scott Smith (James Franco), comes out of the closet and lives as a camera salesman in San Francisco, his disgust at anti-gay discrimination and rallying the gay community, his early campaigns for city council, his breakup with Scott and messy relationship with Jack Lira (Diego Luna), his victory and successful lobbying for gay rights, and of course his fatal encounter with Dan White.

Milk touches all the bases of the slick by-the-numbers Hollywood biopic that we're all so familiar with. Start out with a post-mortem framing device (in this case a narrated tape recording). Give us a quirky outsider hero. Give him a task to complete for selfish gain. Let that task blossom into a greater cause, and have protagonist achieve success against seemingly all odds. Throw in personal turmoil. Build to tragic finale. Insert archival news footage and narration to plug up narrative gaps and keep the story moving. It's all adequately done, but it's been done so many times before it's hard to be impressed by it.

The movie's biggest failure is in its character development. Like many if not most biopics, its characterization is largely tertiary; it projects the image of Harvey Milk, but doesn't really explore who he was as a person, beyond the cause he stood for. His relationship and personal life is dealt with rather perfunctory manner, and even those who know nothing about Harvey can guess the trajectory of his relationships with the loyal Scott and testy Jack. Dan White is a more interesting character, but remains similarly underdeveloped; we learn nothing about what's driving him, aside from some allusions to his standing as outsider (why? We don't really know) and a crass insinuation that he may himself be a closeted gay. Supporting characters don't even rise to that level; they're just background noise, in large part. Only Cleve Jones (Emile Hirsch), the loud-mouthed streetwalker-turned-activist, stands out in any real way, and its his absurd, obnoxious geekiness rather than depth as a character that sets him apart.

Arthouse director Gus Van Sant (Elephant, Gerry) is at the helm, giving a directoral performance little better than a high-paid Hollywood hack. Everything is technically proficient but barely more than adequate. The movie has a cold, produced feel; even the film's emotional high points - the near-riot, Jack's suicide, and the final assassination - have a curiously muted and distant feel Perhaps it's because we know what's coming, but one would expect such a talented director as Van Sant to make it more interesting than he ultimately does.

The acting is only as good as the script allows. Sean Penn plays Harvey Milk as a nice guy with a cause, but not much beyond that. Penn isn't bad, but he's given far better performances and it certainly isn't worthy of particular distinction. Josh Brolin does an admirable job with an underwritten and underdeveloped part; I'm reminded of his turn as President Bush in W last fall, where he gave a similarly heroic but fruitless effort. Emile Hirsch, James Franco, Victor Garber, Diego Luna and Alison Pill all do yeoman's work, but their characters are little more than thumbnail sketches.

I won't say Milk is a huge disappointment; it does what it wants to do adequately, but little more. It's a standard Hollywood "life story", with all the inherent flaws and limitations. If it turns some people onto gay rights and renews recognition, then all the power to it, but as a work of cinema it's nothing special.

Rating: 6/10 - Use Your Own Discretion