Sunday, January 18, 2009

Who is in Your Top Ten Saints of All Time?



10. St Joseph of Cuerpertino

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its Brother Joseph flying again!" Any Saint who can actually fly has to be in the top ten by virtue of sheer novelty and uniqueness.

9. St Christina the Astonishing

Died, came back to life, visited Hell, Purgatory and Heaven, got out of her coffin and gave an eye witness account of all three, told the congregation to stop sinning and flew up into the rafters to avoid the scent of human sin. Lived a life making incredible and often bizarre acts of mortification, penance and reparation for the sins of mankind.

8. St Simon the Stylite

Holy agony uncle who lived on the top of a pillar praying, preaching, fasting and interceding for his town in all weathers. Befriended a little worm who emerged from his tummy and told him to go back home to his stomach where God's Providence had placed him.

7. St Mary Magdalen

Heroine of Christian virtue, defender of Christ's divinity, herald of the Resurrection, instrument of humilty, humbler of the proud, holy penitent, who remained with Our Blessed Lord in His final Agony on the Cross while all the Apostles but St John cacked their pants for fear and hid. Lover of Our Lord, but not Our Lord's lover.

6. St Paul

Shipwreaks, jailings, and stigmatic man of letters. If St Paul were living on earth today can you imagine the letters he'd be writing now? "Dear Bishop...have you lost your mind? Please meditate on my epistles a little..." Martyred for the Faith of Christ and when he was beheaded little springs of water sprung up from the ground on each spot where his pure head fell.

5. St Pio of Pietrelcina

Stigmatic, bi-locater, reader of souls, whose holy heart was transverberated by a Holy Angel with a flaming sword of Divine Love, defended his town from German bombs by greeting pilots in mid air, loyal to Rome even under suspicion, faithful to the Magisterium, victim soul for the sins and liturgical abuses of the clergy, 24 hour Confessor and lover of the poor. I mean, what more can you ask?!

4. St Joseph Benedict Labre

The holy, smelly, flea-ridden tramp who lived off what he found lying around and loved the homeless of Rome. Collapsed at 35 outside his favourite Church and died happy and holy.

3. St Lawrence

My holy patron, Deacon, grilled to death savagely on the orders of the Emperor Valerian, who became inflamed when he brought to him the poor and lame when asked for the treasures of the Church. Kept his sense of humour while being torturously murdered, telling his murderers to turn him over because "that side is done now."

2. St Anthony of Padua

Giant Saint of the Church who zealously, humbly and reverently preached the Gospel to any human, animal, vegetable or mineral inclined to listen. Purity of heart and soul so strong that the Baby Jesus leapt into his arms and gazed fondly into his eyes. More miracles than you could shake a holy stick at.

1. St Francis of Assisi

Extravagant youth, extravagantly holy adulthood, presented himself naked to the Bishop only to be clothed in holy poverty, totally dependent on Providence, told his Dad his real Father was in Heaven, stigmatic who conformed his life entirely to the poverty, humility and self-emptying service of Christ, founded the Franciscan Order and assisted St Clare in founding hers, preached to birds, animals and all of Assisi in truth and love, winning souls to Christ and men to his Order to follow him in a life of virtue and splendour while he fell utterly in love with his Maker and Redeemer. Composer of the famous Prayer of St Francis and numerous others who saw God in every living being from ant to man.

N.B This compilation does not include the Blessed Virgin Mary because she is Mother and Queen of all Saints, Mother of the whole World, of the Church and of all Christians, of all humanity and even the Son of God Himself.

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