You Don't Have to Look Like This to Be a Witch...

But it probably helps!

The Telegraph has reported that...

A coven of witches is accusing the Roman Catholic church of religious persecution after being banned from using a parish social centre for a Halloween gathering [Why that's All Hallow's Eve, surely?]. Sandra Davis, the "high priestess" of Crystal Cauldron [Let's see now. How many cliches can we fit into the title of just one witch coven?] group in Stockport, Greater Manchester, said she was shocked to be told that the pagan group was not considered to be compatible with the church's "ethos" [How shocking!].

Mrs Davis, 61, booked Our Lady's Social Club in Shaw Heath, Stockport, for the group's annual "Witches Ball" due to be held in October. She hoped to attract up to 150 people to the social evening offering a buffet dinner and music from an Abba tribute band and selected the hall because it had disabled access.

But when she went to pay for the booking she was told by the manager that the Diocese of Shrewsbury, which owns the centre, had refused permission for the group to use it.

"It makes you think that there is still a little bit of that attitude from the past of the Catholics wanting to burn witches," she said. "I thought we had made progress, that we could accept other people's religious paths." [Hmm...Yes, it is one thing renouncing the burning at the stake of witches. I suppose that if you really want to worship Satan, who are we to argue with you?! It is quite another to say, "Hey, you witches! Fancy practicing the occult with 150 other witches?! We're the Catholic Church! Come hire our hall space!"]

We've got Mrs Davis, who has 11 grandchildren, gave up her former job in a forklift truck company to set up the Crystal Cauldron, where she is known as "Amethyst Selmeselene" [Good grief!]. Based in a former post office, the 30-strong group runs a new age bookshop and sells cloaks, jewellery and medieval costumes on the internet as well as organising a children's group called "Little Crystals". [Uh-huh, New Age - Check! Ludicrous but in all likelihood slightly nefarious occult practices - Check! Handing all the sorcery nonsense down to the children - Check! Yep, enough here to be slightly wary of hiring the space to you guys!]

It also supports a local cat sanctuary [Black cats only!? Discrimination!] as its designated charity. Mrs Davis has since secured a new venue for the ball which she hopes will become an annual fixture in the town. "It is a full family thing and it is a posh do too," she said. "It is evening dress or fancy dress, last year most of us went in medieval costumes."

The Reverend John Joyce, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Shrewsbury, said that it was out of the question for a pagan group to use its facilities. "Parish centres under our auspices let their premises on the understanding users and their organisations are compatible with the ethos and teachings of the Catholic church," he said. "In this instance, we aren't satisfied such requirements are met."

[Well quite! The only problem, I guess, is that the court, should it come to that, will doubtless force the Diocese into submission on this one. The only sensible thing for the coven to do is to shrug their shoulders and say, "Oh well. Let's try a non-Catholic Church community hall, because let's face it there are tons in this town! Oh sod it, on second thoughts, let's go to the press and kick up a right witches brew of a fuss about it!"]

For those who are in any doubt as to the reason why such an event was rightly deemed unsuitable here is the Catechism of the Catholic Church on...

Divination and magic

2115 God can reveal the future to his prophets or to other saints. Still, a sound Christian attitude consists in putting oneself confidently into the hands of Providence for whatever concerns the future, and giving up all unhealthy curiosity about it. Improvidence, however, can constitute a lack of responsibility.

2116 All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to "unveil" the future.⁴⁸ Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.

2117 All practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one's service and have a supernatural power over others - even if this were for the sake of restoring their health - are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion. These practices are even more to be condemned when accompanied by the intention of harming someone, or when they have recourse to the intervention of demons. Wearing charms is also reprehensible. Spiritism often implies divination or magical practices; the Church for her part warns the faithful against it. Recourse to so-called traditional cures does not justify either the invocation of evil powers or the exploitation of another's credulity.