"Pope Benedict! Ordain Cats Now!"

An image of a 'Pussy Priesthood' of the Future?

A coalition of animal rights groups have formed an umbrella organisation entitled Cats for Ordination Now! With the Church suffering a declining Priesthood, the organisation are beginning to ask the Church to paws for thought and ask the question: 'Is it time for cats to be ordained?'

In the wake of a similar campaign by radical feminists within the Church seeking equality on the Altar, leading to a series of poster advertisements on London buses, the new campaign supporting the rights of feline priests is gathering apace.


A spokesman for the umbrella organisation, Ms Susie Kittylove yesterday said...

"After years on the sidelines and receiving little in terms of public recognition, the rights of our feline brothers and, indeed, sisters have been neglected within the Church. It is high time that cats moved from the rectory and the Priest's house, into the Church, leading the Faithful in ministry and in service to God in offering the Mass for a Church with a new vision for the 21st century."

An adviser to a senior Cardinal in the Vatican has defended the Catholic Church's position on a 'male, human only' policy for ordination to the Priesthood and when asked whether the Church was just a whisker away from moggy ministry, he replied...

 "Sacramentally speaking, and in terms of the Apostolic tradition of the Church, it needs to be repeated, once more, that neither the Church nor the Pope can change the rule. The Church has as much right to confer ordination on a cat as it does on a woman."

One prominent Archbishop in England, however, steadfastly refused to be drawn on the issue, distancing himself from the comments made by the adviser to the Cardinal at the Vatican. When asked, in the wake of rebuttal from Rome, of his own views on whether, in the future, the Church may ordain cats, he replied, "Well, I don't know. Who knows whats down the road?"


"Hopefully a speeding car", was the answer of a traditionalist Priest in the South of England. One Pro-pussy Priest campaigner in Norwich, however, has hinted that the hierarchy in England and Wales's refusal to condemn the campaign could mean that within the local Church it is being considered and that the campaign has garnered some latent enthusiasm, if not yet open support. Ms Candy Littertray said...

"This is an exciting development and interesting times to be a cat within the Church. It sounds of a case of 'maybe not meow, but one day'."

Caterry Pipsinister, Editrix of liberal Catolic magazine, The Tabbielet, has promised to devote a full length feature in next weeks issue.