"There is No Love without Sacrifice..."

After a year punctuated by gentle nagging from my beloved, I am on day 3 of giving up smoking. Is it day 3? It feels like a long time.

In the wake of day 1, marked by the kind of nauseating exhilaration exhibited by born again Christians, born again Scientologists and all born again fruitcakes, I am on the cigarette addict's equivalent of methadone - nicotine patches - It's come down time, so if any of my posts seem excessively angry, vengeful, spiteful or any of the nasty traits that people do not usually associate with this gentle, charitable and humble blog then you know the contributing factor.

I am on a strict diet of hard boiled sweets and DOING ANYTHING NOT TO THINK ABOUT CIGARETTES.

That said, if I should ever appear to look down on you or hate you because you are smoking and I am not, just remember you have it in writing that you can thump me. Yes, even if you're a Priest. I'm not doing this because I want to be 'drug free' or 'clean' or add a day to my life or anything like that, it's her, and I'd happily pipe on a cigarette all my life but I just have to keep telling myself, "There is no love without sacrifice..."

Why don't they put the health risks associated with giving up smoking on the package!? Health risks associated with giving up should really be listed like those health warnings you currently get on packages...

'Giving up Smoking Can Seriously Damage Your Ability to Sleep and May Cause Insomnia (It is 5am), Manic Alertness, a Chesty Cough and Feeling Like S**t All the Time. In Fact, After 3 days of Giving Up Smoking You Won't Give a Flying One About your Lungs, Your Heart, or Your F***ing Sperm Count! Your Intake of Sweets, Lumps of Cheese and Anything You Can Lay Your Hands On Will Treble. You will be a Thorough Displeasure to Know and You May Overcompensate Your Loss by Masking Your Need with Irritating Levels of Knowing Smugness While Thinking of Smokers, "Ah, yes, I was once weak like you are", Leading to the Kind of Unholy Presumption that Leads God to Call You to Account at an Hour You Did Not Expect, Only to be Found Dead in Your Kitchen with Your Hand in Your Bin Looking for Dogends'

George and Diane are probably coming over tomorrow with a bottle of Lambrini and a packet of 20 Sterling Silver Superkings. Let's see how long I last...