Roland Emmerich Presents: Anonymous Patriot Lawrence of Arabia's Independence Day After Tomorrow's Godzilla Stargate

I was rather reticent towards Werner Herzog's upcoming biopic of Gertrude Bell, in which Robert Pattinson has been cast at T.E. Lawrence. Eventually though I got over it because a) it's Werner Herzog, give him a pass, b) Lawrence will be a supporting character, not the star, and c) hey, maybe Pattinson can be decent playing a non-Edward Cullen role. Also, life's too short.

Today, I read that Roland Emmerich - the brilliant auteur behind Independence Day, The Patriot and Anonymous - is planning to produce a miniseries about Lawrence. Michael Korda, author of Hero: The Life and Legend of Lawrence of Arabia, is tapped as an historical consultant for what good that does.

Given the level of historiography present in The Patriot (aka all Brits are child-murdering Nazis) and Anonymous (Shakespeare's plays were written by an incestuous nobleman, Elizabeth I had a son with her other son), it's not imprudent to suggest this Lawrence project will follow the same route. Expect the "real story" behind Lawrence, namely that he was murdered by an MI6-Nazi conspiracy because he impregnated the Duchess of York, hence making him father of England's present Queen! And Seven Pillars of Wisdom was really written by Hannen Swaffer. While they're at it, maybe Emmerich can use Desmond Stewart's trashy biography as a source!

In other words, I expect it to be about as accurate as Lawrence's appearance on Deadliest Warrior:

Time permitting I'll finally get around to my annual blockbuster review. Don't go browsing other blogs now.