With apologies to Enid Blyton (or Eonidh O'Bloightain as she is sometimes called)
"It was a bright and sunny Sunday morning as Noddy climbed into his little yellow car and set off for Mass at St Knobbly's in the centre of Toytown.
As he drove along he waved cheerily to Mr and Mrs Tubby Bear and their son, Bruiny and then braked hard to avoid running over Bumpy Dog. "Parp, parp" went the little yellow car as Noddy tooted at Bumpy Dog, warning him to be more careful in future.
Noddy carefully parked his little car outside St Knobbly's and, just as he was about to enter the church, he was pounced upon by the two goblins, Sly and Gobbo.
"Let me go!" said the little nodding man; "Oh, please let me go!"
"Not until we have greeted you" said Sly and Gobbo in chorus; "We're the new greeters"
"But we don't have greeters at the Old Rite Mass" said Noddy.
"And, anyway, you are the Parish Artists and have nothing to do with us traditional Catholics."
"Now then, now then" said Policeman Plod, appearing as if by magic; "What's going on 'ere then?"
Mr Noddy is quite right you know, there's no need for greeters at EF Masses, traditional Catholics are far too smart for such silly pranks.
Now run along the two of you before I report you to Bishop Bumble".
Sly and Gobbo made a series of nasty faces at Noddy before running off to find their friend Stinkly, the parish liturgist, who lived in Bishop Bumble's dustbin.
"Phew" said Noddy. "Thanks PC Plod, those goblins really give me the creeps. I really can't begin to think why folk need 'greeter's to welcome them to Mass, especially when Our Lord is waiting to greet them in person".
"I know, I know", said PC Plod; "Trouble is, Noddy, people have forgotten all about worshipping the Lord properly.
I just hope that Pope Frankly will put them straight so that we can all settle down in peace once more.
Now you run along into Mass and don't forget to say a prayer for me will you?" he winked knowingly at the little nodding man who cheekily replied: "Of course not PC Plod, I always pray for sinners!"
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| "Introibo ad altare Dei" Parp, parp! |
"It was a bright and sunny Sunday morning as Noddy climbed into his little yellow car and set off for Mass at St Knobbly's in the centre of Toytown.
As he drove along he waved cheerily to Mr and Mrs Tubby Bear and their son, Bruiny and then braked hard to avoid running over Bumpy Dog. "Parp, parp" went the little yellow car as Noddy tooted at Bumpy Dog, warning him to be more careful in future.
Noddy carefully parked his little car outside St Knobbly's and, just as he was about to enter the church, he was pounced upon by the two goblins, Sly and Gobbo.
"Let me go!" said the little nodding man; "Oh, please let me go!"
"Not until we have greeted you" said Sly and Gobbo in chorus; "We're the new greeters"
"But we don't have greeters at the Old Rite Mass" said Noddy.
"And, anyway, you are the Parish Artists and have nothing to do with us traditional Catholics."
 |
| "We're the new greeters" said Sly and Gobbo |
"Now then, now then" said Policeman Plod, appearing as if by magic; "What's going on 'ere then?"
Mr Noddy is quite right you know, there's no need for greeters at EF Masses, traditional Catholics are far too smart for such silly pranks.
Now run along the two of you before I report you to Bishop Bumble".
Sly and Gobbo made a series of nasty faces at Noddy before running off to find their friend Stinkly, the parish liturgist, who lived in Bishop Bumble's dustbin.
"Phew" said Noddy. "Thanks PC Plod, those goblins really give me the creeps. I really can't begin to think why folk need 'greeter's to welcome them to Mass, especially when Our Lord is waiting to greet them in person".
"I know, I know", said PC Plod; "Trouble is, Noddy, people have forgotten all about worshipping the Lord properly.
I just hope that Pope Frankly will put them straight so that we can all settle down in peace once more.
Now you run along into Mass and don't forget to say a prayer for me will you?" he winked knowingly at the little nodding man who cheekily replied: "Of course not PC Plod, I always pray for sinners!"
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