No Mass this Christmas Lord?

An extraordinary infant surely
deserves an extraordinary Mass?

My thanks to the Latin Mass Society's General Manager, Mike Lord, for putting up a listing of Christmas Masses on the LMS website HERE.

But the "Lord" I refer to in my heading is, in fact, the good Lord (not to infer that Mike Lord is anything but good........ drat it, this is getting sticky).

And my query is really aimed at the Archdiocese of Westminster, capital of the Catholic Faith in England and Wales.

It is a small diocese, geographically, but massive in terms of population, number of priests and parishes.

Yet, between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day it only offers three Latin Masses and none of those are located in the Cathedral.
They are all, in fact, in Central London, not easy to get to if you have littlies in tow and have to travel some 30 miles or so.

The fact that a Latin Mass is not on offer at Westminster Cathedral is nothing short of scandalous.

If ever there is an occasion where the Extraordinary Form of Mass  is required rather than the Ordinary Form it is at Christmas and Easter.

Archbishop Vincent Nichols should be ashamed of his lack of leadership. The diocesan website carries a quote from His Grace as follows:-  

"To have eyes for the good things of the Lord is to live by Faith, to see life with the eyes of Faith"

That's almost as good as: "Who knows what's down the road"

BTW, my comments are distinctly my own and do not reflect the LMS position in any way.

While wild horses will not lead me to attend an OF Mass, small grandchildren will.

So I shall grit my teeth and just hope that there are no professional greeters on duty else I might resort to the Don Camillo option, a rather different form of the kiss of peace.

Ad clerum from Bulinga Fen Archdiocese

Hello Boys

It's me again, your beloved Archbish, your NBF (how about that for a bit of being with it eh?).

Well, here we are in the midst of the summer break and our Sunday Mass attendances are at an all time low....it's the hot weather, of course, nothing to do with, umm, er, you know, the one who must not be named.
We all know that he doesn't exist and that we all have a bad as well as a good side to our character.

Well, that's quite enough theology for one ad clerum!

Now for more important matters.
I am rather concerned to see that my pal Peter in Southwark, has no less than ten secondary schools who proudly boast a Muslim Prayer Room on their premises.

Ten Catholic schools with Muslim Prayer Rooms! Disgraceful!

This is nothing short of scandalous and I will not allow this situation to continue.

Please extract your digits and get some Bulinga schools equipped with the same.

Chuck in a few prayer mats, washing facilities and an arrow on the wall, that sort of thing...anything for the ecumenical cause.

Speaking of schools, please ask your chaplain lasses to get focused on more of the jolly old liturgical dancing and tell them to forget any of that Latiney stuff, that's for weirdos.

And while I'm on the subject of Latin, I have noticed what I call 'Latin creep' in some parts of this glorious diocese; some parishes on the outer fringes are promoting EF Masses on alternate Wednesday afternoons (when there's and 'r' in the month), at 2.45pm.

Please, boys, please stay focused.

We have our Indian Masses and our Chinese Masses, no one can take those away from us, so we don't need to go all retro and pretend that we are all holy joes (or josephines, I hasten to add. I am nothing, if not inclusive).

And, speaking of inclusivity please take some time to learn the equality for all version of the Lord's Prayer so carefully written for us by the diocesan artist, Ms Lilith O'Flannery, here it is again, just to jog your memories:-

Our Person

who is out there somewhere

respect to your name.

We want your sovereign state to arrive

And for your most of your intentions to be considered and, 

possibly, complied with,

Please donate some organic wholemeal bread today;

And overlook our rambling on other people's property

As we turn a blind eye when people wander into our gardens;

and help us overcome our lack of re-cycling and usage of fossil fuels

But help us out when it comes to climate change,

Aperson.

Brilliant! So....so....inclusive.

I would also like to take this opportunity to welcome five young men of the diocese who have been interrogated as being suitable candidates for our seminary.

Welcome lads, I know we will get along just fine (provided I don't catch you with rosary beads in your pocket or kneeling to receive holy communion).

Well, chums, as the charcoal of time splutters to ashes, and the thuribles of destiny grow cold, it's time for me to sign off and to wish you all well.

So, until your next AC - tatty bye!

++ NBF

Please note: The above missive is a work of pure fiction and the product of a fevered mind!

Isn't it time the Church calls an end to separation and brings the homosexual Catholic community under its wing?

It's a serious question. We have experienced the brouhaha that surrounds the so called "Gay Masses" at the Church of The Assumption of Our Lady and St Gregory in London's Warwick Street.

Bring these people in from the cold!

But the feet of the Church seem firmly rooted in treacle.
No change, no development.

I do not like what takes place at these "Gay Masses" - it is an aberration but, those who follow the Soho Masses every Sunday surely deserve something better than this.
It's isolationist, prejudiced, discriminatory, it's a form of sexual apartheid - an entrance for blacks and an entrance for whites, homosexuals or heterosexuals.

We do not have this form of discrimination in Menevia Diocese, We do not know, or particularly care whether our congregation members are lesbians, homosexuals, bank robbers, adulterers or serial paper clip thieves, it's not really our concern, it is purely God's concern.

We embrace all who attend our Masses but then, we don't harp on about  heterosexual issues in our bidding prayers, sermons or after Mass debates.

The Mass is for all and is set in a format for all. It does not need a rainbow banner draped across the sanctuary, or people wearing strange wrong sex garb.
It requires a dress code (yes, it does, even the OF Mass) and that code precludes men dressing as women or vice versa.

But Westminster Archdiocese appears content to corral these poor folk in a sort of sixties type time capsule where those who have this leaning appear as caricatures who stand outside the mainstream of what should be their Mother Church.

Bring them into the fold, do away with all this homosexual babble; if they wish to be accepted then accept them but they have to play their part, as part of the whole, not as freaks.

That means, of course, doing away with Masses that exclude, by their very nature, Catholic families or, even, young Catholic men and women.

Dedicate the Warwick Street Masses to Catholics (full stop), do away with the dated imagery and stop patronising this part of the community.

Better still, provide an EF Mass for all - I am sure that Our Lady and St Gregory would approve.

The good Lord speaks out on behalf of the Vaughan!

The good and noble Lord Lexden has asked a question in the House and the answer confirms that the Cardinal Vaughan Parents' campaign to have autonomy over the selection of Foundation Governors has been outstandingly successful.

I know there will be rejoicing in the streets of West London tonight but I also know, having met a few of these good parents, that there will be no crowing, no punching the air with one's fists, well, maybe just once or twice.

Lord Lexden

You see, they are loyal to Holy Mother Church and it grieves them that they have been brought to this point; it should never have happened

Here is the report from Hansard:

Asked by Lord Lexden -

"To ask Her Majesty's Government when they expect their proposed amendment to the School Governance (Constitution) (England) Regulations 2007 will be enacted".
[HL14404] 10 Jan 2012 : Column WA74


The Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Schools (Lord Hill of Oareford):

"We intend to make the amendment to the School Governance (Constitution) (England) Regulations 2007 in January 2012 and anticipate it will come into force in February 2012"
(This is the change in the regulations that will require trustees of VA schools to appoint at least two parents of pupils on the school roll as Foundation Governors, unless it proves impossible to do so.)

So that means, just to emphasize the point....by next month it will be enshrined in law!

That is worth a dozen Gaudetes and quite a few huzzahs!

Photo: Ex Lord Lexden's website

This is what's "down the road"

This, for those from overseas who might not know it, is the only site memorial that we in Great Britain have to our Reformation Martyrs - the men and women who offered up their lives and suffered most brutally for the sake of Our Blessed Lord and His Mass.

The memorial lies on a small traffic island at one end of London's Edgware Road facing Marble Arch.

It is hardly what one could describe as uplifting; a small, cracked roundel set into the pavement.

St Thomas More (yes I know he was martyred at the Tower, not Tyburn) would have said that this apology of a memorial was the result of "a weak clergy lacking in grace".

Somehow that quote resounds constantly in my ears these days.

I posted on this issue about 12 months ago when I had only just begun my blogging nightmare journey.

I did not really expect any sort of reaction from the Church authorities and I have not been disappointed.

But, really, it is shameful!

Would some brave soul bring this issue to the attention of Archbishop Nichols and would His Grace make the cause for a fitting memorial one of his New Year resolutions?

With the London Gay Pride event due to pass within a few hundred yards of Tyburn this summer would it not be a good and wholesome thing to mark what we Catholics deem important?

This post would not be complete without coverage of the 'new' image that is on display, just a few rope lengths from where the martyrs shed their blood - here it is.............

So profound, so moving, the "Jelly Baby" sculpture
standing at Tyburn - dedicated to.....what?

It was destined to be in place for 12 months up until April 2011 but from all accounts it's still there. Wonderful!

Of what use is a Diocesan website?

Is it to inform, educate and enlighten?



Well, virtually impossible, yes!

 Is it to help guide those in need of advice (whether that be where to find a Mass or how to find out more about the one true faith?)
Or, is it to show what a good job the Bish and his team are doing?

Or (yet again), is it just an ignored bit of new technology drudgery that has to be done?

I guess that all four could apply to many if not all of the Diocesan websites around England and Wales.

Their Lordships are still fixated in communicating via the medium of stone blocks for all the interest that they take in what is undoubtedly the most radical advance in communications (and, therefore, evangelisation methods) since semaphore.

This blog must appear as if it is one mega whinge about Bishops but, it's only because, when faced with crass mediocrity, I tend to get a bit ratty.

It is not hard to do a job well, in fact, it requires precisely the same amount of effort as doing a job badly.

But let's cut to the chase; let me take the Archdiocese of Westminster website for a start (I do hope none of my blogging friends had a hand in this).

The site carries an A to Z directory of any parish within its boundaries and the theory is that, with one click you are within striking distance of the parish (as opposed to Diocesan) website.

This is fine except that, it assumes that you know there is a parish church in this town or village in the first place.
Often there is not (as I have discovered) so then what do you do?

Ah, some thoughtful soul in Westminster has added a map so that you may zoom in on the area of your choice and see where the churches are by the little red blobs.

Only trouble is, it is so mind blowingly slow a process that a 3 legged geriatric tortoise could walk the distance before you can bring it up on the map. Bah!

And when you do finally get to the parish of your choice you make two interesting discoveries.

A Leap Year and an 'r' in the Month?
Gotta be a Latin Mass next Sunday

The first is that they only list regular Masses. So, feasts such as The Nativity and all the associated Masses are NOT listed - but this is only one of two occasions in the year when a lapsed Catholic might return to Mass!

What are they thinking of?

And second (a disgraceful second) is that, should the parish feature, at any time (like the fifth Sunday of the month every Leap Year) an EF Mass, it does not appear on the website, or, in my experience, on the church notice board.

Why do some priests ignore the Latin Mass when it comes to church notices?

This is not an isolated example, I believe that most parish or Diocesan sites fail in this respect.

One might almost think that there was a conspiracy against the TLM - oh, come, come!

How about an African Mass.....

....in leafy, (not jungly), Hertfordshire?

Oh, dear, not more nonsense from the Shires of Westminster?........

'Fraid so. I came across it by chance, just like Livingstone tripping over the
 source of the Nile*.
There was I, searching for a proper Mass for Christmas Day, and what should I find? - An African Mass (not, I think, on Christmas Day, but on a bi-monthly sort of a basis).

And, what is more, it is run by the AA. Whether that is the motorist's organisation or the boozer's one I am not sure but the African priest definitely has the letters "AA" after his name.

It all sounds such jolly fun, here is how the Diocesan website describes it:

"It incorporates African hymns and music, drums and dancing though the Mass setting is in English. All people welcome to come. The Mass is followed by a social so if you plan to come to that a plate of food would be very welcome".

O joy! How very uplifting it all sounds. But hang on one sec.....dancing? drums? Is that allowed? Not by the Holy Father certainly....it all sounds rather bongo bongo to me.

And then there is the very African style of wording...all people welcome to come.......a plate of meat would be very welcome".
Do they mean that one is going to be ultra hungry after all that dancing and waving of knobkerries so be prepared for a good old blow out or do they mean, bring along a haunch of giraffe?

It's all very confusing and not to say just a little worrying. For a start there are over 2100 languages in Africa, is that why they have plumped for an "English setting". and what does that phrase mean?
Isn't it a bit like holding an "English Mass" in Masvingo and stating that the setting will be Zimbabwean? I mean, it all sounds a bit silly really.

Will the dancing be around maypoles a la morris dancer meets zulu style?

Unfortunately, I just cannot free up a bi-monthly Sunday to attend at the Church of Our Lady Immaculate and St Andrew in Hitchin (or Hitchinberg as it is now known) but I will say this prayer for them:

Baba Yetu uliye mbinguni,

Jina lako litukuzwe;

Ufalme wako ufike,

Utakalo lifanyike

Duniani kama mbinguni.

Utupe leo mkate wetu wa kila siku,

Utusamehe makosa yetu,

Kama nasi tunavyowasamehe waliotukosea.

Usitutie katika kishawishi,

Lakini utuopoe maovuni.

Amina.

* Yes, I know that Livingstone fouled up on finding the Nile, call it Blogger's licence!

Sorry! No Mass this Christmas

I see from the *LMS magazine 'Mass of Ages' that Westminster Archdiocese does not have an EF Mass anywhere on Christmas Day this year.

 The EF Mass is outlawed in Westminster this Christmas!

So, let's do the sums.....

1 Archbishop

+ 3 Bishops

+1 Retired Cardinal

+ 300 plus priests (est)

+216 parishes

---------------------

= 0

                           

That adds up to zero EF Masses on Christmas Day!

So, please don't ask for a Latin Mass as a smack in the mouth often offends!

*I believe that the above information is correct at time of publication but, I have to say that the LMS Mass listings are...how shall I phrase it without arousing ire?......a little ambiguous. There.......that was nice and subtle wasn't it...no choking over the Lapsang Souchong in Macklin Street over that!