Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Ultimate Conspiracy Theory



NASA have painted the stars black. Everything you see in the sky now is a combination of satellites and an elaborate array of fairy lights. When asked about the latest conspiracy theory a NASA spokesman said, "Unlike going to the moon, sticking a flag in the ground and then b**gering off, never to return again, what you are suggesting would be a totally pointless waste of time and public money."

Take look at this picture. The Earth isn't round at all is it? No, its more of a semi-sphere or red kidney bean shape. We've all been hoodwinked.

Also, did you see that picture of the enormous CO2 monitoring space shuttle launch before it failed to separate and the mission was aborted? I mean, how "environmentally friendly" are big space shuttles and how much CO2 were they pumping into the atmosphere at launch time in order to monitor CO2 once the blasted thing was in space?

Well, I'll agree with Cherie on one thing. Perhaps some more women in Politics at the top of the US administration would be a good thing. The male politicians meet up and say...

President: "Right, what's top of the agenda? I know that we've got big problems on our hands with the financial crisis, third world debt and trade disagreements. We got a deranged madman at the helm of Iran and they're getting nukes and the fruitcake in North Korea is kicking off again and I mean, heck, many of our own people are without homes or healthcare and can barely afford to eat. I know all these things are of vital importance. But, hey, guys, check out this new state of the art rocket our boys at NASA have been working on."

(Brings up Powerpoint presentation on overhead projector)

Chorus of US administration members: "Whoah! That is one cool toy!"

President: "I know! I think we should divert the funds from all the projects to help the most vulnerable in society towards this rocket project. What do you say, boys?"

Chorus of US administration members: "Yes! Yes! Mr President! That rocket is sweet, man! Ah, boy...Yes! Let's send that giant phallus up into space! Oh baby, she is something else! Wooooo! Go, Mr President, Go! Alright! Oh yes, you are the daddy!"

(High fives all round...)

President: Meeting over. Now that's sorted, anyone want a game of golf?

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