Cleaning Job Application

I'm currently doing a book-keeping course and need time to do it, as well as blogging furiously, being a conservative Catholic, reacting to news stories with audible phrases such as, 'I don't believe it...Shocking...Well, I never...', such is the life of a 30-something reactionary. Also, I want to get a gardening business off the ground but its recession time and everybody's indoors with swine flu and haven't got the money. So, I just called up a firm because they had some part time hours for a cleaning job, just something that could bring in some money for fags and food and perhaps a glass of beer.

The application went something like this...

Cleaning Firm: "Hello, Amateurs Cleaning Firm, Jeff speaking, how may I help?"

Me: "Oh, hello, I saw your advert on the jobs centre website looking for a cleaner."

Cleaning Firm: "Oh, okay, well what is your first name?"

Me: "Laurence"

Cleaning Firm: "What is your second name?"

Me: "England, like the country."

Cleaning Firm: "Do you have a passport, drivers licence or a birth certificate."

Me: "Yes, I do."

Cleaning Firm: "Can I take a phone number?"

Me: "Sure, it is....."

Cleaning Firm: "Okay, well, we will let you know within 14 days if you have been successful in your application."

Me: "What? That's it? How do you decide who gets the job? What is it? Lucky dip or something!?"

Cleaning Firm: "I can't tell you how we operate our recruitment policy but if you've been successful you'll know within 14 days."

Me: "Okay, thanks, bye then!"

I must say I am beginning to wonder if my reputation precedes me!