Young Frankenstein

As a special Halloween treat, I revisit an old favorite: Mel Brooks' brilliant Young Frankenstein (1974), an affectionate spoof of classic Universal monster films, most notably King Kong (1933) and The Bride of Frankenstein (1935). Besides paying exquisitely detailed homage to these films, it shows Brooks at his satirical best, using a great script, exquisite direction and a supremely talented cast to create a great comedy.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (Gene Wilder) is a professor working in the United States, who seeks to distance himself from the shameful activities of his ancestors. However, the death of his father brings him to Transylvania, meeting hunch-backed assistant Igor (Marty Feldman), the ditsy blonde assistant Inga (Teri Garr) and the deranged caretaker Frau Blucher (Cloris Leachman). Frankenstein soon finds himself obsessed with his family's research, and sets about creating his own monster (Peter Boyle) - with predictable (though quite humorous) results.

Brooks' film is one of the great examples of movie spoofery. The movie is a great mixture of wit and broad silliness, and both tracks of the film work perfectly. Unlike contemporary spoof movies, Young Frankenstein benefits from its creators having an obvious affection for the source material; the movie isn't a mockery so much as a good-natured ribbing, and works all the better for its fidelity to the source material. Several scenes are recreated verbatim from the films - particularly the Monster's encounter with an incorrigible little girl and a blind, lonely (but quite clumsy) hermit (Gene Hackman) - and smoothly transfered from horror to comedy. Brooks made a career out of spoofing classic movies, but he never quite hit this level of perfection again.

Brooks does a remarkable job recreating the look and feel of the Universal masterpieces. The atmospheric direction, Gerald Hirschfield's gorgeous black-and-white cinematography, John Morris's moody score and the use of classic Universal sets would be appropriate for a straight horror film; that it's used for a comedy makes it all the more effective. Brooks stages the film's major set-pieces - namely the science convention culminating in a Frankenstein-Monster duet of Puttin' on the Ritz - with admirable aplomb.

Gene Wilder gives a marvelously over-the-top performance, never striking a wrong note in his portrayal of the arrogant scientist and mad doctor. Peter Boyle is equally funny, playing childlike innocence and naughty silliness brilliantly. Perhaps the best performance, however, is Marty Feldman as Igor, witty, wacky, and anything but the subservient imbecile he's usually made out to be. The movie contains a plethora of fun performances: Madeline Kahn as Wilder's impatient wife, Cloris Leachman as the ominous Frau Blucher (Whinney!), Teri Garr as the ditzy assistant Inga, and Kenneth Marrs' posable police inspector (who owes a great deal to Dr. Strangelove).

Young Frankenstein is a comedic gem and perhaps the greatest spoof movie ever made. Happy Halloween to my readers!

My Favorite Year

Richard Benjamin's My Favorite Year (1982) is a clever, affectionate film that works as a satire of television and a look at the illusory nature of fame. This isn't necessarily an original concept, but rarely if ever has it been better-explored than here. Year is unquestionably a hilarious film - indeed, one of my favorite comedies of all time - but it's also a very poignant, human one that succeeds on multiple levels.

Benjy Stone (Mark Linn-Baker) is a writer working for the Comedy Cavalcade, a popular '50s comedy show starring "King" Kaiser (Joseph Bologna). Stone convinces Kaiser and his bosses to have legendary movie star Alan Swann (Peter O'Toole) as a guest on the show. Unfortunately, Swann proves to be a drunken wastrel in real life, and Stone is forced to keep an eye on the wayward star, with shenanigans ensuing. Also featuring in the plot are Stone's budding romance with pretty assistant K.C. (Jessica Harper), and the show's clash with crime figure Boss Rojeck (Cameron Mitchell) over a sketch spoofing the latter's corruption.

My Favorite Year is a breezy, self-assured comedy that never falters. Based on the real-life experiences of Mel Brooks writing for Sid Caesar's Show of Shows, it certainly has an air of authenticity and reality that many show biz satires are lacking. The movie avoids revelling in '50s nostalgia too much, a failing of many similar films, while maintaining a believable sense of time and place. Writers Norman Steinberg and Dennis Palumbo hit all the right notes with a witty, fast-paced script, and director Benjamin's attention to detail and characters is exquisite.

The movie manages to balance both humor and poignance. Swann is a surprisingly well-rounded character; a drunken wastrel and womanizer, he is haunted by his inability to live up to his legendary screen image. Terrified of actually performing, unable to go a day with drinking, in tax trouble with the government, and with a terror (he has an illegitimate daughter he can't bring himself to talk to), Swann is a failure shielded by his star persona and irascible charm. Only the poignant pleading of Benjy - a die-hard fan who took Swann's films (including a clip of Lord Jim) at face-value - forces Swann to live up to his image. The film pulls this off so these scenes are genuinely rather than maudlin. The cute romance subplot is well-done, taking enough time to develop without detracting from the main story. The scenes with the supporting cast - the banter among the prickly writing staff, Kaiser's hilarious mugging in front of Rojeck - is just as funny and well-observed as the protagonists' big scenes. Not surprisingly, movie builds to a wacky, chaotic climax - an on-air fisticuffs between Swann, Kaiser and Rojeck's goons - which is one of the best comedic set-pieces in film history, leading to a genuinely poignant conclusion.

Peter O'Toole gives a fine performance as Swann. O'Toole is great at humor both broad and witty (cf. also How to Steal a Million and The Ruling Class) and needless to say, his portrayal of the drunken Stone - ostensibly based on Errol Flynn, but I imagine drawing more than a bit from his own persona - provides some priceless gags and quotable dialogue. O'Toole also does a great job exploring the sadder side of his character - particularly the poignant scene where he watches his daughter at her home, afraid to actually approach her. It may not be O'Toole's absolute best performance, but it's the perfect blend of fun and touching.

The rest of the cast is generally solid. Mark Linn-Baker is likeable if a bit broad as Stone; his best moments are wooing K.C. and explaining his affection for Alan. Jessica Harper (the girl from Suspiria) is lovely and cute as the love interest, and Joseph Bologna steals every scene as the tough guy prima donna Sid Caesar - er, King Kaiser. The rest of the cast - Bill Macy, Cameron Mitchell, Lainie Kazan, Anne De Salvo, Basil Hoffman, Lou Jacobi - all turn in fine performances.

My Favorite Year is just a lovely film. Go see it.

It Must be the Postal Strike...

How many applicants for EU Presidency are there? I hope that the post fulfills the equal opportunity legislation...

Well, I'm still unemployed as you probably guessed, but, determined to better myself and get a job, I've applied for the EU Presidency. I don't know if this sounds a bit audacious, but as far as I know, if you don't try, you don't get, right? Fortune favours the brave, right!?

I know I'm not as qualified in international war, sorry, I mean, international relations, as Tony Blair, but, you know, the last few years I've been to Rome, Assisi, Venice, Barcelona, Seville, Morocco and, of course, I've been on a day trip to Dieppe as well, once or twice. I even spoke a bit of french there. When I was little my mum and dad took me to Switzerland and Camping Cala-Go-Go in Spain I think, or was it France. Oh well, they're all foreign places so they're all the same aren't they? All in all, I'm something of a Europhile.

I don't know how many applicatations the EU has had, but, from what I know of EU legislation, equal opportunities are a big thing. So how come, when I type 'EU President' into Google Images, all I get is loads of pictures of Tony Blair. Honestly, it is almost as if he's got the job already! That said, I know to the EU, equal opportunities is important and its vital that there is a level playing field in getting this EU President job. For instance, the LGBT community might be upset if a transgendered/big gay man/lesbian lady/bisexual was not considered. So, on my application I bigged up my sexual history, saying that basically, after a bottle of wine or two, I am anybody's. I think that will help my cause no end...

In my application I stressed that I was an outside contender but that I would be fresh blood in the European leviathan, sorry democracy, that I would be tough on expenses and tough on the causes of expenses. I think now that Metro has reported that Sarkosy's shower alone cost the EU £250,000, they might want to have a crack down on the gravy train mentality and I'd be the man to cut costs.

Also, I mentioned that having never been involved in a massive illegal war and sanctioned the dropping of huge bombs on vast swathes of a soverign nation on a misleading premise of WMDs, I might be considered reliable on the world stage. You know, an unknown quantity, but not tainted by a bloody war which destroyed my credibility on home soil and integrity in the eyes of both God and man.

I made a big thing of my Catholicism, like Tony does, but suggested in my application that I was more sincere in the pursuit of my faith because I would never have voted to have unborn babies killed in the womb at any stage. Also, I stressed that while I am a poor sinner seeking the mercy of God, I thought that the whole gay civil partnership was something of a black mark on Blairs premiership in the UK since it seems to have the effect of corroding respect from true marriage between one man and one woman and presents to the world a new kind of family which is destructive for children adopted into it, the institution of the family and society as a whole.

I mentioned that I can do accounts as well, which I know will go down well, what with all those expenses claims for hotels, the massive security bill and flights around the World telling people about man-made global warming (sorry, climate change). I told them that, having nearly completed a Pitman Training Centre program in Brighton in basic accounting, that I could save them loads of money by totting up my own expenses so they wouldn't have to hire a book-keeper on my behalf. I also stated my experience in gardening so I could save them a few bob or two as well, since, should I become successful in my bid for the EU Presidency, I will do my own gardening on my vast tract of land.

I know how much the EU cares for the poor so I drew attention to the fact I help out every now and then on the soup run in Brighton. The EU, with that vast wealth and all that money swimming around the corridors of power are dying to set up facilities to help the very poorest in societies all around Europe. This is reflected in the kind of policies that emanate from Europe such as the standard correct shape of pickled gherkins. These are important matters and you can't help European peoples until there is a uniform shape and size of food stuffs. Everyone with sense knows that.

I'm yet to hear back...It must be the postal strike.

The Unspeakable Awfulness of Rambo

Sylvester Stallone returns, older, tougher and more incomprehensible than ever, in the latest installment of the Rambo franchise. Exactly what Sly thinks he's accomplishing by rehashing the hits of his halcyon youth is beyond me - but clearly, there's something of an audience for these films, so why not? While Rocky Balboa was at least mildly diverting, re-capturing some of the spirit of the original, Rambo is a blood-soaked, utterly brainless film with nothing to offer but loads of CGI-aided ultra-violence.

John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) is still, after all these years, an embittered man who can't forget and move on from his traumatic 'Nam experiences. Living in Thailand and working as, I dunno, a boat man or something, he reluctantly aids a group of pacifist Christian mercenaries (Julie Benz and Paul Schulze) in a trip to war-torn Myanmar to aid victims of the government repression. Low and behold, our misguided missionaries are soon captives of the vicious, evil, rapacious government troops (who love nothing more than cutting off old lady's arms and throwing babies into fire) who for some reason don't kill them. Rambo makes another trip, this time accompanied by a team of loud-mouthed but largely ineffectual and wimpy mercenaries. Long story short: bullets and arrows fly, entrails are ripped out, the screen is spattered with ridiculous CGI-augmented gore, and all is right with the world.

There really isn't much to discuss with Rambo, except that it's shit on an unimaginable scale. The first three films at least had some message or characterization, even if they were cheesy at times. But this time, clocking it at barely 90 minutes (10 of them are credits), the movie neatly dispenses with character and plot, and focuses entirely on the blood-'n'-guts factor. The violence here is ridiculously extreme - Rambo rips out people's windpipes and entrails, heads explode, bodies are lacerated by .50 machine-gun fire, Burmese are raped and mutilated, people are blowed up by mortar rounds, grenades, and claymores - and it's not even realistic or enjoyable because most of it is augmented by CGI. Stallone's direction is horridly inept, using rapid cutting that would make Michael Bay have a seizure, not to mention making the scenes in question near-impossible to follow.

What about our characters? Rambo is the same epigrammatic anti-social scoundrel who kills people more or less because he's good at it. The missionaries are whiny wimps who are apparently here to show that pacifism sucks. The mercenaries are a slightly more colorful bunch, with Graham McTavish fun as their inventively profane leader, but they are effectively impotent clods who contribute nothing to Rambo's mission but a lot of profanity and whining (and more people to rescue at the climax). The Burmese, be they victims or victimizers, don't have even pathetic attempts at characterizations, although we do learn that the Evil Leader (Maung Maung Khin) is gay. It's just impossible to take any of these seriously, but it's not even entertaining on a base, "look at these people getting machine gunned" way. It's just pathetic, though a few unintentional laughs may be had along the way.

Is the movie somehow important because it deals with a real-life situation - the repressive regime of Than Shwe? Hardly. It's done in such a cartoonish, tertiary way that it overlooks the point. And in any case, there's no real attempt to exploring the issue - it's just a backdrop. This movie could have been set anywhere - Darfur, Tibet, even Iraq - and been largely the same film. The Burmese army are pretty much more faceless dudes for Rambo to waste. Rambo's "violence solves everything" policy is a bit hard to swallow too, but then no one comes to these films for the politics (I hope).

What more can be said about Rambo? Even Michael Bay and Uwe Boll would find it incoherent and poorly made. Even Quentin Tarantino would find it excessively, ridiculously violent. Even Keanu Reeves and Chuck Norris would laugh at Sly's excuse for a performance. Even Aung San Suu Kyi would find the portrayal of the Burmese government laughably over-the-top. Even Paul Wolfowitz would probably blanch at the thick-headed bellicosity displayed in Rambo's style of foreign policy. And even fans of 300 would find the movie cartoonish and ridiculous.

Well, on that last count... maybe not.

Dawkins Hates the Catholic Church...What a Surprise!

Meanwhile, Damian Thompson has drawn his readers attention to the latest paroxysms of Richard Dawkins, this time in The Washington Post. My comments in bold, orange...

Q: The Vatican is making it easier for Anglicans -- priests, members and parishes -- to convert to Catholicism. Some say this is further recognition of the substantial overlap in faith, doctrine and spirituality between the Catholic and Anglican traditions; others see it as poaching that could further divide the Anglican Communion. What do you think?

A: What major institution most deserves the title of greatest force for evil in the world? (The Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science?) In a field of stiff competition, the Roman Catholic Church is surely up there among the leaders. The Anglican church has at least a few shreds of decency, traces of kindness and humanity with which Jesus himself might have connected, however tenuously: a generosity of spirit, of respect for women, and of Christ-like compassion for the less fortunate (Get it?! Catholic Church = Bad, Anglican Church = Not quite as bad!) The Anglican church does not cleave to the dotty idea that a priest, by blessing bread and wine, can transform it literally into a cannibal feast (Hmm, but the idea that God became Man is not dotty? Come on now, Richard, make your mind up, for that is what Anglicans believe!); nor to the nastier idea that possession of testicles is an essential qualification to perform the rite. It does not send its missionaries out to tell deliberate lies to AIDS-weakened Africans, about the alleged ineffectiveness of condoms in protecting against HIV. Whether one agrees with him or not, there is a saintly quality in the Archbishop of Canterbury, a benignity of countenance, a well-meaning sincerity. How does Pope Ratzinger (Benedict! Honestly! Have some respect!) measure up? The comparison is almost embarrassing (Yep. But not for the reasons he thinks...).

Poaching? Of course it is poaching (No, it isn't. Its like placing an ad in Friday-Ad saying, 'Any Anglican's want to become Catholic? Call me, Pope Benedict XVI, freephone, on XXIVIII IIVXI') What else could you call it? Maybe it will succeed. If estimates are right that 1,000 Anglican clergymen will take the bait (no women, of course: they will swiftly be shown the door) (Yes, indeed. "Here's the Church door, would you like to come in and enter into Full Communion with your Mother, the Church. Leave the dog collar at home..."), what could be their motive? For some it will be a deep-seated misogyny (although they'll re-label it with a mendacious euphemism of some kind, which they'll call 'an important point of theological principle') (Like, Christ was a Man, and He chose men to represent Him, therefore those representing Him on the Altar should be men - a minor theological principle, I know). They just can't stomach the idea of women priests. One wonders how their wives can stomach a husband whose contempt for women is so visceral that he considers them incapable even of the humble and unexacting duties of a priest.

For some, the motive will be homophobic bigotry, and a consequent dislike of the efforts of decent church leaders such as the Archbishop of Canterbury to accept those whose sexual orientation happens to deviate from majority taste (Awful isn't it? Every time you go to Mass, you see the sign saying, 'No queers, lesbians and in general, no sinners allowed'). Never mind that they will be joining an institution where buggering altar boys pervades the culture.

Turning to the motives of the poachers, here we find cause for real encouragement (for the Devil and his friends, but Richard, Christ has assured us that if we persevere in the Faith, the last laugh will be ours and it will last the longest, that is, as long as long can be, that is, Eternally). The Roman Catholic Church is fast running out of priests. In Ireland in 2007, 160 Catholic priests died, while only nine new recruits were ordained. To say the least, those figures don't point towards sustainability. No wonder that disgusting institution, the Roman Catholic Church, is dragging its flowing skirts in the dirt and touting for business like a common pimp: "Give me your homophobes, misogynists and pederasts. Send me your bigots yearning to be free of the shackles of humanity."

Archbishop Rowan Williams is too nice for his own good. Instead of meekly sharing that ignominious platform with the poachers, he should have issued a counter-challenge: "Send us your women, yearning to be priests, who could make a strong case for being the better-qualified fifty percent of humanity; send us your decent priests, sick of trying to defend the indefensible; send them all, in exchange for our woman-haters and gay-bashers." Sounds like a good trade to me. (Finished? Good!)

Quite how the Holy Father's fantastic innovation affects someone as devotedly atheistic as Dawkins is one of life's little mysteries. I do notice, however, that the Richard Dawkins website is advertising for volunteers. "For what?" I hear the people's cry! "Is Dawkins setting up a volunteer scheme for people to help poor HIV orphans in Africa, who are motherless because the Pope went around nicking people's rubbers? Is he showing his humanist compassion by setting up soup runs across the country with his vast wealth? O Richard, show us your deep love for humanity, you old social darwinist you!"

No, of course not. He needs, and I quote: 'Lawyers (specializing in American tax law [!!!!]), Accountants, Designers, Video Editors/Cameramen/Subtitling/Graphics (Final Cut Pro), Website & Computer Specialists, Translators (Spanish and French are needed most, but all languages are helpful!), Educators/Scientists, Marketing Specialists, Organizers/Managers.'

Ha-ha! Classic! Richard, dear old boy! Sounds to me like you are building a religion there, mate! Oh, that is too good! He wants people to work for free, for him, to spread his 'gospel'! Who is the founder of his religion and who rakes in the money? Yep, you guessed it...Dawkins! Look, just $19.99 for his DVD called 'The Root of All Evil?' Richard, it sounds like a question. The answer to the question isn't 'religion', it's 'money'.

'The Tide is Turning'

Exclusive picture of Ramsgate TLM courtesy of PA

Andrew M Brown pens piece for The Telegraph on the astonishing return of the TLM to St Augustine's Catholic Church in Ramsgate. Exciting stuff!

For Catholics in Ramsgate, Kent, Fr Steven Fisher is the man of the hour. Parishioners of the Pugin-designed St Augustine’s in the town had feared their church might be about to close but now Fr Fisher, who serves a neighbouring parish, says he will celebrate a Tridentine Mass there every Sunday.

Augustus Welby Pugin, who was something of a social theorist as well as an architect, designed St Augustine’s as part of his vision of an ideal Catholic community in the area, though as he died at 40 (of syphilis, probably) he didn’t live to see the church completed.

It is profusely decorated and Pevsner called it a “marvel”. But earlier this month the Benedictines, who had looked after the church for more than a century, announced they were leaving their abbey and seeking a new home, so the congregation of St Augustine’s, understandably in this age of padlocked churches, feared the diocese would close it.

Then Fr Fisher, the parish priest of St Ethelbert’s, Ramsgate, stepped in, proposing to parishioners that he could transfer the Tridentine Mass that’s currently offered at St Ethelbert’s to St Augustine’s.

“I gave the people a democratic vote,” he says, as if that was the most natural thing to do in the Catholic Church. They voted by 75 to zero in favour of the plan. From January, a Tridentine Mass will be celebrated in the Lady Chapel of St Augustine’s on Sundays at 8.30 in the morning.

“The people seem happy about it,” Fr Fisher says. He has also engaged a caretaker to open up the church to visitors on Sunday afternoons.

Fr Fisher, who sounds very friendly and sensible on the phone, is keen on the Extraordinary Form of the Mass, as it’s also known, although “it was Bishop John Hine [an auxiliary bishop in Southwark] who mooted this possibility to me”. The Extraordinary Form particularly suits St Augustine’s, according to Fr Fisher, since it’s the Mass as Pugin would have known it and besides, he says, breezily: “I’ve been saying it weekly since before Summorum Pontificum.”

Deo Gratias!

Thank You, St Jude

Well, I'm afraid I don't have enough money for petrol to get to Faversham to make a pilgrimmage to the National Shrine of St Jude, so I'm sorry I can't take anyone's intentions there with me. I remembered those who asked in my prayers this morning. Now I've moved into a place I've got bills to pay and not much to play with. However the Shrine does have a prayer intentions webpage, so click here to register your intentions. Why, I suppose, travel all the way to Faversham when you can just thank the kindly Saint and spread devotion from your blog?

Brighton All Hallows Eve Procession?

Henry of View from Outside has suggested a St Mary Magdalen's Procession to take place on All Hallows Eve, in response to pagan/new age/occult rituals and practises which undoubtedly, are commonplace on such festivals in Brighton. His suggestion is, 'to meet at St Mary Magdalen's Church and go round Brighton saying a decade of the Rosary at selected locations. I suggest the Abortionarium, the various witchcraft shops round the town and the dolphin fountain in the Old Steine.' Anyone up for it? Comment at his blog.

The UK: Down Right Disgusting

The UK is fast becoming the designer baby capital of the World. According to The Telegraph, 'three babies are being aborted every day due to Down's syndrome, according to a study which shows the number of terminations has more than trebled in the last 20 years.'

Courtesy of The Telegraph

Peter Elliott, Chairman of The Down Syndrome Research Foundation, who has a 24-year-old son David with Downs Syndrome, said: "Why are the abortions at such a high rate unless they have been given the impression the situation was terrible and it warranted an abortion?"

"I don't think the choice is presented to the parents in the light of the true situation where the children have a good life and are in fact viewed as a blessing to the parents, not a curse, and I don't think these parents getting the abortions know much about Downs syndrome at all."

Phyllis Bowman, director of the pro-life charity, Right to Life, said too many people do not appreciate the value of a child with Down's syndrome. She said: "I find it very sad that more terminations are being carried out due to Down's syndrome. These children can do very well, they can achieve GCSEs and we have a member with Down's who runs their own company.

"People are made frightened of having a Down's child by the images of the condition that are portrayed. Too many people are presupposing that people with Down's syndrome have no value."

It is estimated that there are approximately 60,000 people with Down's syndrome currently living in the UK.

CERN Fires Up and Fascinating Results In

The multi-billion pound CERN Large Hadron Collider has discovered some very interesting things as seen from the image above. Click here for more stunning discoveries from the biggest and most dangerous experiment in mankind's big and dangerous history.

I wonder how they came up with the name Large Hadron Collider. I think the scientists got together and said, "So, guys, what are we going to call this preposterous waste of money?" The other scientists said, "Well, we know its a Hadron Collider, let's stick with that."

Other scientists said, "Yes but its not any Hadron Collider, is it? It's bloody huge!"

So another scientist said, "Yes! Let's call it the Bloody Huge Hadron Collider!"

Another said, "No, we don't want to scare people. Let's call it the Really Very Large Hadron Collider."

"That's a big long-winded," said another, "What about shortening it to Very Large Hadron Collider."

Eventually they settled on Large Hadron Collider, but apparently, voices were still left echoing after the meeting, screaming, "It's not large! It's bloody huge!" Other voices were heard saying, "I don't know. We should have stuck with preposterous waste of money. I mean, that's closer to the truth."

'Be Safe, Use Protection, Wear a Rosary'

Perplexed by continued soaring rates of teenage pregnancies, abortions and STIs, a new Government advertising scheme is to roll out next summer. The campaign, 'Be Safe: Wear a Rosary' is a stunning change in direction from the Government. The advertising campaign will feature a young couple getting hot under the collar. The controversial advert, which has received over 500 million complaints from atheists already, before it has even been aired, will feature a conversation from the young couple on the benefits of the Rosary.

The teenage boy and the teenage girl are watching a film when the couple begin kissing and hands start moving to places which could lead to impurity and sin. The teenage girl then says, "Did you bring protection?"

The teenage boy then says, "Oh no...I can't find it. Do you have one?"

The girl says, "Hang on, I'll have a dig around in my bedside drawer....Yes, I've got one. Shall we use a blue one or a white one?"

The boy says, "A white one. Let's do it on the floor in the bedroom."

The girl says, "Yes, lets do that."

The boy then says, "Ready? I believe in One God, the Father the Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth..."

A ladies voiceover then comes in as the ad fades to a picture of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary and whispers, "Be Safe, Use Protection, Wear a Rosary."

Anglican Mystified by Catholic Bishops Fear of the TLM

I've been engaging in some somewhat belligerent ecumenism on an Anglican's blog. In a good post, Tim Collard, a 'strong Anglican' (remember, Tim, Cardinal Newman was a 'strong Anglican' before he became a strong Catholic then a 'strong contender for Sainthood and soon to a canonized Saint) cannot understand why many Catholic Bishops are opposed to the Latin Mass. Tim, neither can many of us...He writes:

From what one hears, the Church of England should be shaking in its warm woolly socks by now. The Pope’s latest initiative, allowing ultra-traditionalist Anglicans to go over to Rome en masse while being allowed to preserve their traditional liturgy, is being portrayed as a devious Papist attempt to split and undermine our national Church.

As a strong Anglican, I don’t buy into any of this (Deo Gratias!). Many people may not think that there’s much difference between the churches, but that’s not how they see it in Glasgow, and that’s not how the Pope sees it either. These things are important. But still, for me anything Pope Benedict does to break down the barriers is a Good Thing (Like it! Capital letters for what the Holy Father has done! Remember, only holy things deserve capitals!). If some Anglicans (Why capitals!?) choose to go over to Rome as a result of this initiative, I’m not going to throw anything at them. Some of my best friends, etc.

But there’s a strange backstory here. As my colleague Damian Thompson chronicles in his blog, there are internecine disputes between British Catholics too. The Pope – and let me say at this point that I admire intellectual rigour even when I disagree with the man who wields it – wishes to reintroduce the old-style Latin Mass, not as compulsory, but as an option. Much of the British Catholic hierarchy, according to Damian, do not like this at all. They seem to fear that the Latin Mass is a) so 1950s, and b) only one step away from the thumbscrew and the stake.

Now, the sort of traditional Anglicans the Pope is trying to attract are the sort who wouldn’t mind the Latin Mass in the slightest (If I were a traddie Anglican, I wouldn't be up for guitar masses either!). I like it myself. When travelling abroad – most recently in Budapest and Copenhagen – I have attended Mass on a Sunday. While prepared for a completely unintelligible service, I was on both occasions gratified to sit in on a service which I understood (a lifetime of choral singing has left me well acquainted with the Latin Mass). This was the Catholic Church doing what it says on the tin (Oh boy! This guy is there! He understands the benefits of the TLM and for once I am not being a sarcastic git!).

What I wonder is why the British Catholic Bishops are so frightened of a resurgence of the Latin Mass. It seems odd that Catholic liberals are so wedded to modernism in liturgy and music, whereas the hardcore traddies prefer Tridentine rites, Gregorian chant, etc. On the Anglican side it is the hardline evangelicals who are keenest on modern “choruses”, tambourines, clapping etc, while the liturgical traditionalists, who cherish the great tradition of English church music, are closer to the liberals.

So, will the Pope’s initiative lead to a large exodus of traditional Anglicans? I don’t think so somehow. Anyone who is at all susceptible to the ecclesiological arguments of Rome has surely gone over already (Hold your horses, Tim, the Holy Spirit is still working on England!). We’ll carry on making our sublime church music. (The Sistine Chapel Choir is terrible.) We’ll live alongside you as we always have (Always have?! Well, in the spirit of ecumenism, sometimes it is worth whitewashing history, I suppose!), and will listen to anything sensible you have to say, especially to HH the Pope, who is a great Christian theologian. And, while we’ll always accept in a brotherly spirit anyone who is honestly convinced to go over to Rome, we’ll also rejoice over any of yours who can’t cope with the intellectual tergiversations any more and come over to us.

I like this post. It has something of the 'I'm not bitter' about it but at the same time is magnanimous in spirit towards those Anglicans, lay and priests, who will come over and accept the Holy Father's generous offer. I don't think Anglicans fear dead puppies through the letterbox when they convert, though, apparently Ann Widdecombe got vile letters when she did. I think its the sense of rejection by a community who feel they have rejected them, if that makes sense.

Who knows, perhaps Tim might one day cross the Tiber. We leave such things to the Lord after we have savaged the roots of the Anglican Church on that persons blog. However, I do always get a bit annoyed by Anglicans or anyone who admire sthe Holy Father's intellect so much, at the expense of the Office he holds. It has to be said, that if the Pope was a total ignoramous (which someone called me on Tim's blog), he would still be the Pope, he would still be the Sucessor of St Peter, he would still be the Prince of the Apostles and he would still have the Authority given by Christ to St Peter to teach all nations, baptising in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. If the Pope had never read a single word of St Thomas Aquinas, St Augustine, St Teresa of Avila, St Anselm or Pope St Gregory the Great, if I met him, I'd still kiss his hands and his feet, because...its the bloody Pope!!!!!!

Which is exactly the spirit in which Bishops should receive both the Holy Father's invitation to the Anglicans and Summorum Pontificum. In fact some of our Bishops are like Anglicans who say, "The Holy Father has a formidable intellect. He is a capable and profoundly wise theologian. His grasp of matters theological and his exegesis of even the current economic situation and the negative consequences of sin upon the human family are breathtaking." Then, five minutes later someone goes up to the Bishop and says, 'Your Lordship! The Holy See, at the behest of His Holiness himself has liberated the Traditional Latin Mass. He's written you a personal letter to invite you to follow this new liturgical renewal of the Church! What do you think?!"

The Bishop says, "Nah, that sounds silly. I'll carry on doing my own thing."

Just thought I'd mention that.

Men Should Marry Young, Smart Women, Say Scientists

A scientist analyses the best conditions for marriage...

Courtesy of The Telegraph

Scientists tracked 1,000 couples who were either married or in serious relationships over five years and then looked for patterns among those who were still together. They found that neither should have been divorced in the past, the man should be five or more years older and the woman should have received more education than the man.

The academics’ report, published in the European Journal of Operational Research, did say that men and women choose partners “on the basis of love, physical attraction, similarity of taste, beliefs and attitudes, and shared values”. But it added that using “objective factors” such as age, education and cultural origin “may help reduce divorce”.

Their research suggests marital bliss for pop star Beyoncé Knowles, 28, and her husband, the rap star Jay-Z, who is 11 years older at 39. She is also better educated as he did not receive a high school diploma. However while Michael Douglas, 65, is considerably older than his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, 40, the fact that he was previously divorced would count against them, the findings suggest.

The scientists, including Dr Emmanuel Fragniere of the University of Bath, found that a previous divorce lessened the chances of a relationship surviving, but this was less marked when both partners had been divorced before.

St Jude, Patron of Hopeless Causes

St. Jude, glorious apostle, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the person who betrayed our Lord has caused you to be forgotten by many, but the true Church invokes you universally as the Patron of things despaired of. Pray for me, who is so miserable; pray for me, that I may finally receive the consolations and the succour of Heaven in all my necessities, tribulations, and sufferings, particularly (ADD YOUR PERSONAL REQUEST HERE), and that I may bless God with the Elect Throughout Eternity.

May the Sacred Heart of Jesus be Adored, Glorified, Loved & Preserved throughout the world, now & forever. Sacred Heart of Jesus, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Worker of Miracles, please pray for me. Saint Jude, Helper of the Hopeless, please pray for me. Amen.

Tombstone

George P. Cosmatos's high-octane retelling of the Wyatt Earp story helped give the moribund Western genre a shot in the arm. In one sense, it's an action movie in Western costume, but on the other, it's a well-acted, extremely well-made, remarkably accurate and highly entertaining film. It might not be on the level of Unforgiven or The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford as a great modern Western, but despite some cheesier passages, it's a fun ride.

Legendary Western lawman Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell), his brothers Virgil (Sam Elliot) and Morgan (Bill Paxton) and their wives are fed up with the law enforcement game and turn up in the mining town of Tombstone, Arizona, looking to make a quick buck off the prospectors. They find the town a lawless settlement run by the Cowboys, a vicious gang of rustlers and gunfighters led by Curly Bill Brocious (Powers Boothe), Johnny Ringo (Michael Biehn) and Ike Clanton (Stephen Lang). Earp becomes infatuated with actress Josie Marcus (Dana Delaney), leading to tensions with his wife (Dana Wheeler-Nicholson) and crooked Sheriff John Behan (Jon Tenney). As tensions with the Cowboys escalate, Virgil becomes Town Marshall, much to Wyatt's dismay. Along with tubercular gunslinger Doc Holiday (Val Kilmer), the Earps march to the epochal showdown at the OK Corral - setting off a long and bloody range war.

Tombstone is a straight retelling of the Wyatt Earp myth embodied by John Ford's My Darling Clementine (1946), and works very well as such - and certainly better than Kevin Costner's bloated revisionist would-be epic of the following year. There isn't much moral ambiguity here: Earp and his brothers are established as money-grubbing opportunists, but quickly turn into righteous avengers blasting away the sleazy Cowboys (introduced gunning down a wedding party). Still, the film can hardly be faulted given that it makes each of its characters - even seemingly minor parts - distinct personages. The Earp brothers are broadly drawn but clearly distinct - conflicted Wyatt, righteous Virgil, hot-headed Morgan, and the colorful Doc Holiday. Ringo, Curly Bill, Ike Clanton and their henchmen (Michael Rooker, Thomas Haden Church, Robert John Burke, John Philbin) have enough screentime to register individually - at least until the later scenes, when we run into a boatload of interchangable bullet fodder.

Despite its trappings as an action film for the 1880s, Tombstone is perhaps the most accurate film on the Earps to date. The first hour or so is effective build-up and stage-setting (aside from the trite Wyatt-Josie romance), before exploding into violence at the mid-point. The OK Corral gunfight in particular is far more accurate than any of its counterparts (though still too long by a minute or two), and the movie rightly shows it as merely one skirmish in a lengthy range war. Wyatt Earp would do a more in-depth (if not better) job of addressing the moral ambiguities involved - both sides were deputized and technically legal in their actions - but given the nature of the film, this is forgivable. It isn't the first film to explore the vendetta - that would be John Sturges's Hour of the Gun (1967) - but it certainly is the best to date.

George P. Cosmatos (he of Rambo II) is the director of record, but screenwriter Kevin Jarre (who also penned Glory) and star Kurt Russell reportedly had their hands on the director's reins at times. Regardless, the film is excellent to look at. The shootouts and confrontations are generally exciting and well-shot, particularly the OK Corral centerpiece and the chillingly-staged ambush of Virgil and Morgan - the only exceptions are the over-the-top massacre intro and the predictable montage of the Vendetta ride. Jarre's script is wonderful, full of witty, colorful dialogue, and does a good job of maintaining his large cast of characters. Bruce Broughton provides a rough, violent score that nicely complements the proceedings.

Kurt Russell plays Wyatt Earp conventionally as a conflicted straight-arrow lawman. He's pretty good (though I prefer Kevin Costner's portrayal personally) although his colorful co-stars blow-him off the screen. Val Kilmer's colorful, flamboyant performance as the eccentric Doc predictably steals the scenes; some might criticize Kilmer for being too flamboyant, but he's just plain fun to watch. Just as impressive are the trio of main villains: flamboyant Powers Boothe (who seems to be channelling Lee Marvin in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance), cold-blooded Michael Biehn (The Terminator), snivelling Stephen Lang (Public Enemies) all make distinct impressions and nearly steal the film. The movie has a great many then-up-and-coming actors in the cast, including Michael Rooker, Terry O'Quinn, Jon Tenney, Thomas Haden Church, Billy Bob Thornton and Billy Zane. On the other hand, Dana Delaney's Josie is little more than a perfunctory love interest (albeit based on a real figure), Jason Priestley of Beverly Hills 90210 is ridiculously out-of-place and the cameos by Charlton Heston and Harry Carey Jr. are pretty useless.

Tombstone is an entertaining Western despite its handful of flaws, and it gives My Darling Clementine a run for its money as the best Earp film to date.

The Man From Laramie

Until today I had seen several of Anthony Mann's renowned "adult Westerns" from the 1950's - Winchester '73 (1950), The Naked Spur (1953) and The Tin Star (1957). All were good movies but lacked that special something to make them great. Today I found Mann's masterpiece: The Man From Laramie (1955). The last of Mann's seven collaborations with James Stewart, Laramie is not only Mann's magnum opus, it makes a strong case for being among the best Westerns of all time. With its great cast, richly drawn characters, well-developed story, skillful direction and gorgeous Cinemascope photography, it's nothing short of a masterpiece.

Will Lockhart (James Stewart) arrives in the isolated farming village of Coronado. The town is run by Alec Waggoman (Donald Crisp), an aging cattle baron, and his two lieutenants: his simple-minded, quick-tempered son Dave (Alex Nichol), and Vic (Arthur Kennedy), the fiercely loyal ranch foreman. Will's arrival puts a spanner into the works, intensifying the rivalry between Dave and Vic as they debate how to deal with the stranger. Will would just as soon stay out of the way, but he has a score to settle - his brother, a cavalryman, was killed by Indians carrying Winchester rifles, and he's determined to seek revenge on the man (or men) who sold them the guns.

The movie undoubtedly excells in its characters. Will's character is (by necessity) fairly elliptical; he's tough but not a bad-natured, amoral vigilante like, say, The Man With No Name. Mann parcels out Will's background carefully, leading inevitably to the final reveal of his motivation - and yet his righteous anger and vengeance is tempered by his morality, allowing Fate to wreak its own vengeance on the wrong-doers. Smaller parts, like Will's love interest (Cathy O'Donnell), the tough lady rancher with a thing for Waggoman (Aline MacMahon), Will's hard-drinking side-kick (Wallace Ford), the chatty Indian priest (Frank DeKova), and the town conman (Jack Elam) are also interesting personages.

The trio of villains is undoubtedly the best feature. Once a two-fisted tough guy in his own right, the older Alec Waggoman is well-meaning but increasingly ineffectual man. A Western Lear, he loves his son and right-hand man all too well, and is unable to to see the growing discord between thhem. Dave is a bit of a stereotype - the weak, hot-headed son living in the shadow of his father - but Vic makes up for it with a very well-rounded character, haunted by guilt and driven by a need to please his surrogate father. Even towards the end, he never degenerates to villainy or pathetic pleading; the scene where he guiltly visits his blinded boss is brilliant, humanizing him better than any other Western character I can think of. All three characters are flawed yet sympathetic, and the film doesn't make any of them evil, not even at the end when there's nothing to lose. The Wild Bunch is the only Western comparable in its depth of believable, engrossing characterization.

Mann's direction is nothing short of brilliant. As usual, he does a fantastic job of photography, capturing the gorgeous salt flats and forbidding deserts of the Southwest and making landscape a character in its own right. The film is full of striking individual set pieces, from Will's first encounter with Dave, the dusty fisticuffs with Vic, the shootout at the cattle range, and the final confrontation with the Apache. Phillip Yordan and Frank Burt's screenplay is sharply written, carefully developing story and characters while delivering a generous portion of quotable dialogue. George Duning provides a suitably dramatic score, marred only by the cornball title tune (that fortunately only crops up at the beginning and very end).

James Stewart gives a solid performance: his character here is less neurotic and obsessive than his earlier Mann protagonists, but still convincingly a two-fisted, grimly determined man of action. Arthur Kennedy (Lawrence of Arabia) gives a career-best turn. Vic is a conflicted, complex character who never turns into the expected sneering villain, and Kennedy perfectly captures the character's sense of guilt, anguish and desperation. Donald Crisp (Juarez) does equally well, making Alec a nice guy with an undertone of nastiness showing through. Alex Nicol is perhaps a bit too broad as Dave but perhaps the script can be blamed for that. Supporting parts are ably handled by the likes of Cathy O'Donnell, Aline McMahon, Jack Elam, James Millican, Frank DeKova, and John War Eagle.

The Man From Laramie is an unquestionable Western masterpiece, and an instant personal favorite. Perhaps the other Mann films above-named are due for a rewatch? Stay tuned...

Long Live Fox News!

This political commentator is spot on. It would appear that the rest of the news networks are indeed in the pockets of the White House. Remember, when the Fourth Estate goes, usually, whole peoples go. I hope Keith Olbermann is as ready to lambast the Obama administration on its faults as he was, rightly, to lambast the previous administration on its theirs. Or could it be that he, like so many in the mass media in the US have fallen for the 'liberal messiah'. Honestly, just because Obama is not George Bush, just because Obama is a liberal does not mean that he is not a git. Just because liberals swoon when he comes into the room does not mean he is not bad, bad news. Just wait...you'll see.

Swine Flu Vaccine Concerns Update

Irish Independent
Wednesday, Oct 21st, 2009

Public health nurses may have to be drafted in to give the swine flu vaccine in some parts of the country. The nurses will also be used in Dublin because of a lack of GPs willing to take part in the scheme, it was learned last night.

I'd Rather be Fat than Split Up Families

The wicked and evil exploits of Social Services continues unabated. Click here for a Daily Mail story which has me so livid I can't bring myself to copy and paste it a word of it onto my blog. Equality, eh? Isn't it wonderful! Say a prayer for this family which has now been destroyed by an arm of the State so pernicious, damnable and dangerous to the institution of the family that Satan himself could hardly do a better job.

Providence!

This is not my sofa, but it is a visual representation of it. The Lord, in His great generosity has deluged me with gifts for my new studio flat. Yesterday I found a computer desk on the street and this morning my friend's mother gave me a chair that turns into a single bed. Then on our way to moving that, this guy who does freecycling saw us carrying the chair-bed. He says to us, "You looking for furniture." Me and my friend say, "Yeah, why?" He goes, "Need a sofa? I've got one going here." I say, "Yeah!" Then he drives this reclining sofa over to my flat and me and my friend move it in. A sofa and a chair-bed and a computer desk all free, which is lucky because right now I can't afford to buy new! How good is the Lord to those with a bad credit rating and stretched overdraft! Blessed be His holy Name! Today, I'm picking up a bedside cabinet someone wants rid of. Cracking stuff!

Ogro

Ogro (1979) is the third Gillo Pontecorvo film I've seen, after the brilliant Battle of Algiers and the disappointing Burn! Pontecorvo again deals with the politics and harsh realities of terrorism and revolution, but in a more subdued manner than above-named films. Unfortunately, Ogro is also a bit too obvious and slow compared to his previous works, and suffers as a result.

In 1973, Spain is still under the thumb of Generalissmo Francisco Franco, the Fascist dictator who has ruled the country since 1939. Still, most knowledgable Spaniards know he hasn't long to live, and his equally repressive right-hand man Carrero Blanco (Agapito Romo) is in line to take over. A cell of the ETA, a Basque terrorist organization, has decided to kidnap Blanco and hold him for ransom. The hot-headed revolutionary Txabi (Eusebio Poncela) strongly urges assassination; the more cool-headed Izarra (Gian Maria Volonte) argues that Blanco is worth more dead than alive. When their leader Yoseba (Feodor Atkine) is gunned down by Spanish police, and when Blanco is promoted to Prime Minister, kidnapping is no longer feasible; they must assassinate him.

Ogro does a fine job of examining the role and importance of terrorism in a revolutionary movement. Spain was a country that, despite its repressive government, was fairly prosperous under Franco's rule; thus, there was little popular call for revolution, and it took the actions of extremists like the ETA, working for their own cause (independence for the Basque minority) to affect social change. Certainly the ETA cannot claim to be acting for the majority of Spaniards, and yet their actions positively benefit the country as a whole. The assassination of Blanco arguably opened the door for Spain's post-Franco democratization, so it can certainly be seen as justified, even heroic. But with one goal - the removal of Franco's chief henchman - achieved through terrorism, should it be used for another - Basque independence?

Pontecorvo shows a degree of thoughtful nuance in dealing with this issue. Terrorism may be the only way to fight against a Fascist dictatorship, but is it the right way to act in a democratic society? In this regard, Pontecorvo seems to have mellowed from the Marxism of his earlier films; although he acknowledges the shortcomings of violence in those movies, he ultimately embraces the violence as a necessary evil. Here, he questions whether it is always necessary - that in a pluralistic society, patience and peaceful protest are more likely to succeed. To be fair, though, French Algeria and Quemada were not regimes where peaceful protest was likely to bear fruit.

Unfortunately, Pontecorvo's film lacks the visceral power of Algiers, for a number of reasons. The film's pace often flags during the preparation scenes, which is interesting at times, but occasionally tedious. The Txabi-Izarra conflict is underdeveloped and pretty rote, and the supporting cast are virtually non-existent as characters. Perhaps more of a problem are the overly-obvious political sentiments. The lame flashback device, with Txabi continuing his violence ways while Izarra has moved on to peaceful protest, is a waste; its message about peaceful versus violent methods is obviously stated, and seems tacked on and underdeveloped. Indeed, the film's message is generally stated less elegantly than in Algiers, even though the message - that terrorism is only useful up to a point - is certainly one worth considering.

Pontecorvo's direction is on a larger scale than Algiers, although it retains the basic cinema verite style. The movie's shots of the meticulous terrorist preparations put one in mind of Day of the Jackal - and the climax is certainly a highly suspenseful sequence. Ennio Morricone contributes a fairly low-key and unremarkable music score. Gian Maria Volonte, Eusebio Poncela, Feodor Atkine, Jose Sarcristan and Saverio Marconi all give strong performances as the ETA men.

If Ogro lacks the immediacy of Algiers, it's still far superior to the muddled Burn!, and worth a look for anyone who enjoyed Pontecorvo's other works.

Swine Flu Vaccine Concerns

A doctor and vaccine expert tells Fox News that he will not give his kids the H1N1 shots because they are contaminated with deadly levels of Mercury.

The same Fox News which the Obama administration are apparently spending a lot of hours condemning in the media for 'bias' aired the views of this doctor who claims that the vaccine has 20,000 times the amount of mercury recognised as safe in water.

It appears that just as with the Obama administration's general, rather liberal-dictatorship agenda the administration doesn't like Fox reporting anything but the Government line whether it be the Healthcare Bill or the H1N1 outbreak or gay marriage, abortion or anything that offends it. Scary. Personally, it was obvious to me from the outset that the Obama team would not like pluralism in the media because their goal is so obviously a 'cultural revolution'. Heck! They've even got little children singing songs to Obama in schools. God preserve us!

Also, is it just me, but don't but the symptoms of 'swine flu' presented by the scientific community bear a striking resemblance to symptoms of the annual flu or even a cold? You know me. I'd be the last person to shout "Conspiracy!", but it is deeply disconcerting that the 'Science Czar' John Holdren is also into depopulation ideas, sterlisation and enforced abortion. Are Americans, and indeed the British and Europeans going to trust these guys with a vaccine?

The BBC reports that, 'Seriously ill hospital patients and the health staff caring for them will be the first of 14m people in the "priority group" to be given the jab.' Who's signing up for this first? The Liverpool Care Pathway?! The same report says that pregnant women are next in line. Err...High levels of mercury being given to pregnant women in a vaccine even when they are not even experiencing symptoms of the 'swine flu'? I'm sorry, that doesn't sound like a great idea, but hey, who am I, who knows so little about medicine to express concern?! Let's get this straight. The first targets of the vaccination with huge question marks over its side effects are pregnant women, and by default, the unborn and the elderly already sick? At a time when Governments are re-thinking whether the elderly and the unborn are worth protecting this news should perhaps have Catholic and, yes everybody's alarm bells ringing.

As an aside I thought I'd mention public concerns about GM food crops. Loads of people interviewed on TV last night were saying that they were concerned that the scientists were 'messing with nature'. Hmm...So, the public have concerns that scientists are 'messing with nature' with GM crops, but scientists aren't 'messing with nature' when they inject human embryos with animal DNA?

Anglicans Set to Transform 'Godless' Brighton

The Argus reports that Brighton, dubbed the 'most Godless town in Britain' (by Holy Trinity Brompton Church, London) is to be evangelised by Archie Coates and his wife and Jonny Gumbel and his wife. These inspirational, charismatic Anglicans will take Brighton by the scruff of the neck and haul it out of sin and into St Peter's Church - that is - St Peter's Anglican Church in London Road. Nicky Gumbel's son, Jonny, dubbed 'Son of Alpha' (by me) will be Curate. Click here for a great little video of Brightonian responses to being told their town is 'the most Godless' in the UK'. I love it! Middle aged ladies are featured saying, 'Actually, I really rather like it here...It's better than Hastings.' (LMAO!)

Click here for another official HTB video that will have heretics, unbelievers and traditonal Anglicans, as well as Catholics running for Sussex Downs. Rest assured, the new team at the landmark church which will no longer be ringing out peals of bells on Gay Pride Day as did their predecessors, while the Church of Christ the King (CCK), Brighton's other evangelical, no nonsense, believe-in-Jesus-and-your- saved-it's-easy-peesy church, will be quaking in their boots that they have a rival. The Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB) team, not to be confused with the Brompton Oratory (BO) team are less than traditional but believe they can 'bring Brighton to Jesus'.

Meanwhile, we Catholics will be as feeble in 'evangelism' and 'outreach' as we always are and will continue to go and spend all our cash in pubs, while the new breed of dewy-eyed, misty-faced clean-living evangelicals clean up and get people to attend their church. What can we do to combat these happy fresh faced young whipper snappers and bring Brighton to the true Faith? Well, thank God, Fr Ray Blake is celebrating the Traditional Latin Mass is all I can say.

Whatever the percentage of Brighton's population who attend church are, rest assured, HTB chaps and chapesses, that Brighton is not 'Godless'. The Most High Jesus Christ (bows head and takes off army surplus cap) is in the Tabernacle at St Mary Magdalen's, St John the Baptist's, St Mary's and St Joseph's. The hope is that the nearby traditional, high-Mass loving, St Bartholomew's CoE church will go over to Rome and start talking in Latin, rather than in tongues and offer an alternative to the 'alternative'. Still, all in all...good luck to them...Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! Worthy is the Lamb Who was slain! Now that's ecumenism!

Let's Go Church Shopping!

In light of the announcement by Pope Benedict XVI of a function for Anglicans to be incorporated into the Catholic Church and the possibility of thousands of traditional Anglican's converting en masse to be incorporated into Holy Mother Church, a new board game is being released called, 'Let's Go Church Shopping with Pope Benedict XVI!' A board game for all the family!

'Loughborough Parish Church is one of the major churches in Leicestershire. Its handsome 14th century proportions are crowned by its elaborate and pinnacled tower and clerestory which date from the 15th century. All this reflects the wealth and patronage of the local manor lords and more especially the merchants and wool traders of those times. Many of their heraldic symbols still embellish the external insets of the great west window and of the tower door. But the history goes back further than this, and the church almost certainly sits on both Norman and Saxon predecessors.'

That's cute! We'll take it! Oh! Hey! What d'ya know!? Built in the 14th century, you say? It was ours anyway!

Stephen Fry's At It Again!

Stephen Fry: The atheist of the Little Flower?

Check it out! Stephen Fry apparently spent all evening last night, alongside Christopher Hitchens denouncing the Church in an 'Intelligence Squared' debate in London, I guess.

The motion put forward was, 'The Catholic Church is a force for good in the World'. According to Andrew M Brown of The Telegraph, Hitchens and Fry defeated the arguments of Archbishop Onaiyekan of Abuja, Nigeria and the Rt Hon Ann Widdecombe and the latter lost the debate as reflected in the votes. Well, whether people believe the triumphant distortions of truth and history given by the celebrities or the voices of the Church Militant is up to them. Whether the Catholic spokespersons were strong enough intellectually to match Fry and Hitchens is a matter in itself for debate. I guess it goes back to that campaign Fr Ray Blake and Paul Priest wanted to get more competent Catholic spokesmen and women.

Anyway, regardless, the same Stephen Fry (because, let's face it, we expect this kind of crap from Hitchens) apparently argued against the motion. Yet, the same Stephen Fry, as I posted earlier in the week, will be hosting an evening with music and film at the Royal Festival Hall for The Passage Homeless centre which was founded by Cardinal Basil Hume on 27th November 2009!

So, on the 27th November 2009, the same man who argued so vociferously against the motion, 'The Catholic Church is a Force for Good in the World' will be hosting an evening raising funds for a Catholic institution which only does good in the World. What is more, he might be saying a few words drawing attention to the marvellous work of The Passage Homeless Centre, which feeds the hungry and helps the homeless get back on their feet! You couldn't make it up!

I wonder how The Passage feel about their choice of host, who has not only made scandalous remarks against Polish Catholics linking them to the Holocaust (something for which he has not so much apologised but gone into self-denigration, basically saying, 'Okay, I was wrong and foolish') but is now teaming up with Christopher Hitchens of 'Let me tell you how much I hate Mother Teresa' fame to attack the Church in public debating societies!

You know, I'm starting to think Stephen Fry isn't half as clever or intellectual as everybody says he is...He may have Q.I. He may even have I.Q. But he can't remember his diary dates.

Holy Shockwaves from Rome!

Courtesy of Damian Thompson of The Telegraph

'This is astonishing news. Pope Benedict XVI has created an entirely new Church structure for disaffected Anglicans that will allow them to worship together – using elements of Anglican liturgy – under the pastoral supervision of their own specially appointed bishop or senior priest.

The Pope is now offering Anglicans worldwide “corporate reunion” on terms that will delight Anglo-Catholics. In theory, they can have their own married priests, parishes and bishops – and they will be free of liturgical interference by liberal Catholic bishops who are unsympathetic to their conservative stance.

There is even the possibility that married Anglican laymen could be accepted for ordination on a case-by-case basis – a remarkable concession.

Both Archbishop Vincent Nichols and Archbishop Rowan Williams are surprised by this dramatic move. Cardinal Levada, head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, was in Lambeth Palace only yesterday to spell out to Dr Williams what it means. This decision has, in effect, been taken over their heads – though there is no suggestion that Archbishop Nichols does not fully support this historic move. For more click here.

Hurrah and indeed, huzzah! Come on over ladies (who don't want to be priestesses) and gentlemen! Who's the Daddy?



He is. Oh yes!

Meanwhile, The Times's Ruth Gledhill feels unable to rejoice in a joint article with colleague Richard Owen in a piece entitled, 'Vatican moves to poach traditional Anglicans', as if Anglicans were football stars being lured away by foreign clubs offering better wages, better sponsorship deals and more certain futures. Hmm...there may be something in that, still, whether Anglicans, most likely traditional Anglicans come over is their free choice, Ruth. Heck! They even put a link to the Archbishop of Canterbury's official site entitled, 'IN FULL, Joint Statement on poaching plan'!

I know that if were an Anglican egg right now, I'd rather be 'poached' by Rome now, than be 'scrambled' by Canterbury.

Mutiny on the Bounty (1935)

Frank Lloyd's Mutiny of the Bounty (1935) has stood the test of time. Despite two remakes - a ponderous 1962 epic with Trevor Howard and Marlon Brando, and The Bounty (1984), a restrained adaptation with Anthony Hopkins and Mel Gibson - it remains the definitive telling of the HMS Bounty, Captain Bligh, Fletcher Christian, and their travails. As a rollicking period adventure film, it has few equals, and has held up remarkably well over the past seventy-four years.

1787. HMS Bounty has been ordered by the Crown to travel to Tahiti and pick up a shipment of breadfruit, which will provide cheap fodder for the slaves in England's Caribbean colonies. The ship is captained by Captain William Bligh (Charles Laughton), a cruel, tyrannical martinet who rules his ship with an iron fist. His first mate is Fletcher Christian (Clark Gable), the noble, humanist, who almost immediately clashes with Bligh. Caught in between the two is Lieutenant Byam (Franchot Tone), who likes Christian and dislikes Bligh, but is reluctant. Things come to a head with the ship reaches Tahiti, whose sun-splashed treasures - and willing women - provide an immediate falling out between Bligh and his crew. On the return voyage, Christian leads the crew in a mutiny, leaving Bligh and his loyal officers adrift in a small dinghy - and themselves stranded on Tahiti.

If there's any major criticism to be made of Mutiny, it is the simplification of the story and conflicts involved. Historians and biographers have shown that the reasons for the mutiny are more complex, that Bligh wasn't that bad (at least by standards of the time), and Christian was far from a saint. But Hollywood has never let facts get in the way of a good story (heck, even a bad one), and although the film's noble, humanist Christian and tyrannical Bligh may be lacking in depth or complexity, they are certainly well-portrayed as elemental forces of good and evil squaring off.

Like Billy Budd, the film serves as a condemnation of the Royal Navy's cruel 18th Century life. Early on we see sailors being gang-pressed into service; the ship's company, predictably, is filled with criminals and thieves, along with some fairly ordinary fellows - all cannon fodder for His Majesty's Navy. The humanist Christian finds this disgusting, as any forward-thinking modern gentleman would. The movie doesn't extend even a tiny bit of sympathy or understanding towards Bligh; even though the Admiralty Court at film's end expresses disgust with him, he's the clearest embodiment of a cruel, wretched system. Is it any wonder that these likeable, wrongly-impressed and brutally-treated chaps are turned on by the allure of tropical Tahiti? A few months under the lash of Captain Bligh would clearly turn anyone into a mutineer.

Still, the film is primarily a rip-roaring adventure movie, and in this aspect. Director Frank Lloyd shows a flair for spectacle and action scenes; the shots of the replica Bounty at sea are constantly gorgeous, as is the location shooting in Tahiti - beautiful even in black-and-white. That the film has hardly dated int his respect is a remarkable achievement in and of itself; there's rarely a dull moment and the film is consistently entertaining, moving at a perfect clip. Margaret Booth's editing is quite striking, particularly in the montage of the mutiny itself. Herbert Stothart contributes a wonderfully rousing score that fits the film perfectly.

Charles Laughton (Spartacus, Hobson's Choice) gives an excellent performance, in his most iconic role, making Bligh a blustering, cruel force of nature. Clark Gable is at his dashing, swashbuckling best; his Christian is a compelling force righteousness that we don't mind a lack of complexity and motivation. Franchot Tone gives perhaps the best performance, however; his Byam is a well-rounded and believable character, a well-meaning officer who falls squarely, and Tone invests him with passion and humanity. All three leads were nominated for Best Actor, an achievement not matched since (for obvious reasons), and it's certainly well-earned.

Mutiny on the Bounty remains an excellent piece of old-school Hollywood filmmaking. After all, no film that's being watched seventy-four years after its production can be bad, can it?

I quit

Well, it appears that my proclamation of being a professional film critic will not come to fruition, due to a toxic combination of laziness and too much work. I've barely had enough time to watch movies at the library, let alone at the Waterfront (thank you 59U). I'm gravitating towards a History major right now, anyway, so I can't say I'm too upset about this, in and of itself. Mostly my problem is that due to my own failings and laziness, I am being forced to quit something again.

You lot, however, will be subjected to my rantings, ravings and occasional cleverness until I lose the will to live. I will remain an amateur film critic, provided I can find time to watch movies worth reviewing - and for that, you can either be thankful, or run screaming into the night.

Abortion an Ecological Disaster Says Bishop

Courtesy of Catholic Online

Bishop Demetrio Fernandez of Tarazona, Spain voiced his support this week for the October 17 March for Life in Madrid and warned that with the legalization of abortion, “a true ecological disaster” has been unleashed in Europe and will turn it into “a continent of death.”

“This is a true ecological disaster, which affects the unborn child, the mother who has conceived him, the different people involved in the issue (the baby’s father, the grandparents, health care workers, etc.) and all of society that will suffer from the negative impact of this ecological disaster,” the bishop said in a pastoral letter.

He pointed out that since the legalization of abortion, “some 50 million children were not born, who would today be 50 million young people,” which Europe needs desperately as the population “is prematurely aging and is dying of sadness and despair.”

For more click here.

At Some Point I Have to Ask the Question...

What went wrong with me?

I have very generous parents, you know. My summer of car dwelling/friend's floors dwelling/parent's house dwelling is about to come to an end and I am about to move into a newly built 'eco' studio flat thanks to the generosity of mum and dad. I'm going to invite friends from Church and beyond round on Saturday/Sunday to come over and have some food and a few bevvies. There's a 'Lord Bless this House' picture left over from the Car Boot Sale which I'll ask Fr Ray to bless along with the flat.

I'll have a key to the next block and I'll be able to use the lift to get to the top of the block of the flats and look out over Brighton. You can see the sea and everything, most of Brighton! The flat's got everything. A bed is on the way, it's got a fridge freezer, oven, grill, cupboards, washing machine and even a dishwasher. The cistern above the toilet is flat, so I can finally have the toilet fish tank I always wanted. I've got a kettle and a toaster and I've got a second hand sofa and table and chairs on the way. I'm not sure about getting a TV because its another bill and TV is mostly rubbish apart from the odd documentary. Still, if I can get a job....who knows?

From now on I have to be responsible...promise! If only I had that Protestant work ethic thing! I'm going to start applying for jobs left right and centre. I hear Poundland are looking for staff for Christmas. I've done nothing to deserve what I've been given. I hope I can get a job so that I can afford to stay there.

I don't usually do many 'me' posts, but I still think its quite crappy of me that at the age of 32 I still don't have a career or even a job save for a history of temping. Anyway, say a prayer for me that I don't **** this opportunity up! Otherwise my fate is pictured above! I mean, what on earth would I do if I ever wanted to get married or something and have kids? As it stands now, me and my fantasy family would be right shafted. Wretched sinners like me never think of such things until its too...Well...late is better than never I suppose.

The Sacred Made Real Exhibition

'Dead Christ' (c1625-30), a sculpture by Gregorio Fernández
Photo: Imagen MAS

'The Sacred Made Real' at the National Gallery is a groundbreaking exhibition of hyper-real religious works that will change the way we see art.

Courtesy of The Telegraph

In the northern Spanish city of Valladolid, I am examining the corpse of a man who has suffered a terrible and sustained assault. His eyes are glazed in death, his mouth hangs open, his body is covered in a mass of wounds and lacerations. It is quite hard to look at, yet at the same time it is beautiful. “This,” says Maria Bolanos, the director of the Museo Nacional Colegio de San Gregorio, which I am visiting, “is our Rokeby Venus!”

She is joking, of course, but only a little. We are contemplating 'Dead Christ' (c1625-30) by Gregorio Fernández, one of the great masterpieces of 17th-century Spanish sculpture. Next week it goes on show as one of the star exhibits in a remarkable and ground-breaking exhibition at the National Gallery, The Sacred Made Real...for more click here.

You can read a review of the exhibition by Richard Dorwent here.

The Sacred Made Real is at the National Gallery from Wednesday October 21.

Even better, let Archbishop Vincent Nichols take you through it.

Thank God for those genius Spanish artists c.1600-1700! I don't know about you, but I can feel another parish coach outing coming on!