Tabula Delenda Est!

Thanks to my friend Lawrence who played harmonica on this song and to the Blessed Virgin and the Saints who inspired me. If you like it then Gloria Patri et Filio et Spiritui Sancto, sicut erat in principio et in saecula saeculorum. Amen. If you don't then, sorry. I chose a car park for recording because the acoustics are good and we are the Catholic underground.

Tabula Delenda Est

Well I walked into the Mother Church of England and Wales

To light a candle, say some prayers and confess

Took a stroll around and found a magazine

Enigmatically titled, ‘The Tablet’

So I read a couple of the articles and the more that I read,

The more it dawned on me this mag once had Catholic zeal

Now its a vehicle for dissent

So I said:

‘Tabula Delenda est!’

Now I know why so few Catholics genuflect

They're so comatosed by this infernal, liberal journal

They don’t believe in the Real Presence

‘Tabula delenda est’

The barely beating heart of the Catholic Establishment

Surely its days are numbered

If their faith is so encumbered by liberalism’s foul-smelling stench

Domine exaudi orationem meam

Et clamor meus ad te veniat

When will the axe fall upon this moribund magazine

And its liberal editrix?

No subject is taboo, no line can be drawn

Nothing's sacred, no Teaching unchallenged

And if you dare to tell them they’re writing into oblivion

They’ll say you’re a fundamentalist

Tabula delenda est!

The intelligensia ain't that intelligent

 Because they’re losing readers by the weeks, months, years

And its obvious they’re best years are spent

Tabula delenda est!

And we wonder where all of the Catholics went

They either lapsed or died of boredom readin' this nauseatin'

Excuse for the Catholic press!

An insult to the energy Cardinal Vaughan spent

On a Catholic journal called The Tablet

That would explain Catholicism rather than end up in schism

That would be loyal to Christ to the end

Now we get articles by Bobby Mickens wishing that our

 Beloved Pope was dead

But who'll be Bobby’s successor?

And who's a rank outsider?

Have a word with Archbishop Vincent

Living proof for the Doctrine of Original Sin

But at least in Adam and Eve’s defence

Although they picked from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil

At least they knew the difference

More than we can say for…

Tabula delenda est!

The barely beating heart of the Catholic Establishment

When will the Archbishop of Westminster tell Catherine Pepinster

 She's non dignus of her monthly pay cheque

Tabula delenda est!
What kind of Catholic does this weekly represent?
Not the ones who adhere to the Magisterium
 You'll find them all on the internet

Tabula delenda est!

Are you wondering where all of the Catholics went?

Their faith collapsed, possibly, when they swallowed the Suppository

 Implausibly, bitter Tablet


Tabula delenda est!
Why not consider reading the Herald instead?

The Pill's dwindling readership's still cryin’ over Humanae Vitae

So they read The Tablet

Tabula delenda est!
Let's burn copies of The Tablet 'til there's no Tablets left
And then return to the Church to adore Our Blessed Lord
In the Most Holy Sacrament

Tabula delenda 
Tabula delenda
Tabula delenda est! 

Tabula delenda
Tabula delenda
Tabula delenda est!